Hi, and welcome to episode 2 of the trans 101 series.
Today, we are going to be talking about terms.
Terms that are...talked about a lot in the trans community, and what type of phrasing you should actually be using when you refer to trans people
as well as terms that you really shouldn't be using
and what type of phrasing you should actually be using...when you refer to trans people
and talk about trans...things...
Stuff like that...
So, let's get to it!
What is the difference between sex and gender?
A lot of people use these words interchangeably, and they are really not the same thing, alright?
The most basic explanation that I have ever seen in my entire life online
is sex is what is between your legs and gender is what is between your ears.
We can complicate that a little bit more and say that sex is what you were assigned at birth,
Somebody saw your genitals and they saw a penis, and they said
"Oh, my god... That's a boy."
And gender is how one feels in their mind.
So when you talk about trans people, and you're saying that
transgender individuals, alright, their gender does not match the sex that they were assigned at birth.
Gender is more about how you feel inside and what your gender identity is.
Sex is just a biological construct that was given to you when you were born,
and the actual concept of sex is also socially constructed because
we are - here, in this video series - we're just talking about trans people,
but you have to remember that intersex individuals exist as well.
So, there are two sets of genitals that everyone knows about.
You have a penis, or you have a vagina.
That's what you have.
BUT! There are people who are born intersex.
Being intersex basically means that you were born with ambiguous genitalia.
So if you're talking about sex, and you're just attributing sex to...penis or vagina, It doesn't work.
It's socially constructed because there are a bunch of people out there who were born ambiguous genitalia.
And it's not as rare as everyone thinks it is.
A lot of people - and it's not that the external genitalia can be ambiguous, it can be the inside as well.
There could be somebody who was born with a penis, but has an ovary.
It could be somebody who was born with a vagina, but has a very large clitoris.
There are so many different variations of what "ambiguous genitalia" -external and internal - can mean,
that a lot of people don't even know that they are intersex.
So just saying that there is only two types of genitals - penis and vagina - is very problematic because
there's a whole bunch of people out there who don't...
have those.
Try to finish that sentence.
Or who have those but in a different variation, alright? So,
I'm just giving you an example of what sex is and then what gender is.
What is gender expression?
Well, this is very simple, and I can use myself as an example over here.
So, I - I've said this before - I am a female-to-male transperson.
I have a gender identity that is male,
but the way that I express my gender is very different, alright?
As you can see I have dyed hair,
I have coloured nails,
and I talk a lot with my hands,
and I -- a lot of people attribute the way that I express myself in a very feminine way -
in whatever society deems is feminine.
So for me, my ex-- my gender expression is
Yes, masculine, but more feminine.
And that's okay, even though I know identify as male,
I am allowed to be feminine.
Just think about all the people who are not trans who are feminine and express their gender or
express themselves in a feminine manner.
Um, a lot of people would associate that with flamboyant gay men.
But it is a very narrow way of thinking because there are straight men who also express themselves in a more feminine way,
and that's allowed.
And it's allowed for me as a trans man to also express myself in a feminine way.
This is just how I express myself.
People want to deem it feminine and that's fine.
Sexual orientation.
Now, this one is very interesting because a lot of people tend to attribute being trans to sexual orientation,
as if it is-- yes, it is part of the LGBT acronym - lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans -
but it is not a sexual orientation.
Sexual orientation is completely different.
I read online once - and it was very interesting - that gender identity is who you want to go to bed as,
and sexual orientation is who you want to go to bed with.
That is the most simple way to explain it.
Sexual orientation is who you are attracted to.
It has absolutely nothing to do with your gender identity, your gender expression, how you identify, who you are...
If you are a trans man - which means you were assigned female at birth and you transitioned to appear more male,
because you have always felt male inside - before you transitioned, alright,
if you solely dated women, you were seen as a lesbian.
When you transition, you are now seen as a straight man
Sexual orientation does not change when you transition.
Just the identity that is placed onto you will change, but the people you are attracted to doesn't normally change.
Yes, there are some people in this community that say that transition has changed their sexual orientation.
My theory on this is that people are way more comfortable with their bodies, and are way more able to express themselves,
And--and, and...let themselves feel things that they didn't feel before because they are way more comfortable in their body.
So somebody identified solely as a lesbian before, and then they transitioned, and they are now straight,
but now they start feeling feelings for men, that's okay.
That's absolutely okay because now you are more comfortable with your body,
and you're able to express yourself more, so you not only date women as a straight man,
you can now date men as well, and you would be seen as either gay, bisexual, pansexual, queer...
however you want to identify yourself.
I keep using the word trans man. I didn't even explain it.
Okay trans man is me.
I was assigned female at birth, and I transitioned to male, alright?
Trans woman is somebody who was assigned male at birth and transitioned to female.
And when I say "transition to female", I need in an appearance.
It's not their mind that transitions, because inside your gender has always been the gender that you identify as.
I have always been male my whole life I've been male, I just didn't look male.
And what society sees is what male is so I transitioned to a more male appearing body, I guess is what I could say.
So what is cisgender?
I keep seeing this word around. What doesn't even mean?
Well, cisgender, plain and simple, just means that you're not trans.
So if you're not trans, you're cisgender. If you're trans, you're transgender.
Very, very simple.
Please don't take it as an insult because it's not, it's just a very easy way for us to discuss people who are trans,
and people who are cisgender.
This is not a new term, it's been around for a very long time
I'll put links to the description below so that you can take a look.
I know this is a lot of information to take in, and it might be little bit confusing.
In the link in the description below, I will link you what the gender unicorn is, alright?
And I will place the picture here so that you know what I'm talking about
This will explain to you in depth the difference between sexual orientation, gender identity, sex, and all of these other terms that I've talked about.
They explained in a weight easier way than I do 'cause I tend to ramble.
Alright! Terms NOT to use.
Trans people are not "cross-dressers".
Cross-dressing is different, alright?
Cross-dressing is when you identify as male and you are wearing women's clothing, alright?
And then they identify themselves as a cross-dresser.
It is not the same thing.
Somebody who is assigned male and transitions to a more feminine appearing look
And is wearing more feminine clothing is not cross-dressing.
Cross-dressing implies that you're dressing with the other gender in mind.
You are basically cross-dressing your whole life before you transition.
My whole life before transition, I was expected to wear more feminine clothes.
When I wore those clothes, I felt like I was cross-dressing.
I felt like this clothes does not match who I am inside.
Saying something like "a transgender" or "oh, she's a trans", that doesn't make sense.
That's like saying, "hey, that person's a gay". That doesn't--that just--it doesn't roll off the tongue nicely,
and it also really objectifies the person.
Instead, you would say something like, "oh, Chase is transgender", "oh, look, I know somebody who is transgender",
not "I know somebody who is a transgender".
Why can't you use transgendered?
Well, there are some people who use it in a way like, "oh look I know Katie. She transgendered".
She, hmm? She "transgendered"?
Nah, nah, nah, Katie transitioned because she is transgender.
I'm not very good at grammar, my first language isn't English, so I have a little difficult time sometimes
but I do know that only a verb can be added an -ed at the end, which means that being transgender is an action or
being "transgendered" is an action...
Th--that-- it's not an action.
You don't "transgender".
That's not what it is
And that's why using the word "transgendered" is not appropriate.
You should be using the word the person is "transgender" and they are "transitioning".
Instead of using "they transgendered" or "they are transgendered".
And this is the same thing with the word "transgenders".
No, you can say, "oh, that group of people, they are transgender".
They're not they're not transgenders. They are transgender.
Alright, so the words that I'm about to say are very problematic
And I really don't like using them and these are words that I never use
But I just want everyone to be clear and make sure that they don't use this word.
Right, so before I had talked about cross-dressers.
A lot of people still call cross-dressers "transvestites",
or call trans people "transvestites".
This is different. "Transvestite" - I believe - is the older term for what is now known as "cross-dressing", which I explained before.
And this is my least favourite word in the entire world, and I never say it and I hate when people say it,
But I'm about to say it just one time in my life, and then I'll never say it again.
The word "tranny".
Please do not use this word.
This is one of the most offensive words that trans people can be called it is objectifying it is dehumanizing
It is objectifying, it is dehumanizing, and I know that this was a term that was commonly used a long time ago...
And some people still use it.
But, as far as I know, almost everyone that I have ever talked to absolutely despises this word.
It is used as an insult - if you watch any show in the 90s that had a trans person
SVU, "Law & Order, SVU" - if they're mentioning a trans person, they're saying this word.
So if anybody ever tells you, "oh, please don't say the 'T' word", now you know what the 'T' word is.
This word affects a lot of people in the trans community,
but it really affects trans women and trans women of colour.
I can't speak to their experiences because I'm obviously not a trans woman, and I am obviously not transwoman of colour,
but, this word has been used to dehumanize and laugh at trans people.
And if you watch any of these TV shows, it's always trans women that are being laughed at.
So, when you're laughing at somebody who is trans and you're using this word and the person is a trans woman,
you are now seeing them as an object.
When you look at the statistics of how many trans women, especially trans women of colour, are murdered every single year, alright,
because people do not see trans women as...real humans.
They see them as objects and they are...dehumanized; they're not human and how is that--how--how does that happen?
Well, you have the media that portrays a trans person as a joke, as a punchline, as a criminal, as a villain, or...as dead.
All of these things combined influence individuals.
I'm not blaming the media, alright, for killing trans women because it's not the media that kills trans women,
but I'm just saying that all these images that are depicted and all of these words that are used against trans women especially,
is a very - in my opinion - a very large correlation in why a lot of trans women - especially trans women of colour - are murdered.
Please, please look that up. I will put the link in the description below.
I can't believe I said that word...anyways
Here is a phrasing that a lot of people think is appropriate to use for trans people
I'm just going to say it right out, it's not-- don't say, "oh, you used to be so pretty before".
Before what? Before transition? Before, when I didn't feel like who I am?
And before, I was very, very emotionally distressed and and had a lot of issues with myself?
It's not a compliment. I know that a lot of people think is a compliment, but it's really not.
And a lot of people think that this is a compliment:
"Oh, my god, I would have never known if you didn't tell me!"
Well, a lot of people don't want to tell people that they're trans and if you're saying that "I would have never known",
that kind of says that you expect a trans person to look a specific way.
And because you weren't able to...I don't know, "realize" or "clock" or "identify" that person is trans,
like, as if we are lying and we go through this world not telling people that we're trans and that is lying.
This is untrue. Some people just don't want to tell people in the trans, and that's fine.
So saying things like, "oh, my god, I would have never known!"
Yeah, you can think that it's a compliment because like "oh, my god you actually pass as who you are, that's so great",
but it really does imply that you know what a trans person is supposed to look like and there is no such thing as
"what a trans person is supposed to look like".
Anyways, these terms just scratch the surface.
There is so much more to learn but these are the most basic things that I could think of that affect trans people,
and--and I get the most questions about, so if you have any questions please put in the description below.
I think it is very important that we keep this conversation open and we keep talking about all of these things.
If you have any terms that you'd like me to talk about I will put them in the description below, like I said.
There are a couple of videos that have a lot of different terms that you can learn about...
The trans community, the queer community, LGBT,
that I will put in the link in the description below; these videos are very important as well.
Alright, thank you for joining me and I will see you for episode 3, where I talk about transgender children.
Have a great day!