Can you save your marriage right now even if your spouse is unwilling to do so?
And if it is possible, how do you rebuild your marriage so it becomes stronger than
ever?
How’s it going, YouTube!
Brad Browning here.
It’s been awhile since I released a marriage saving video so I decided to make one on one
of the most asked about marriage topics – how to save your marriage when your spouse is
unwilling to do so.
As you know, marital issues can be extremely complex.
They can range from issues relating to sex, children, money, family, intimacy, and a whole
wad of other things I probably haven’t listed yet… but there are a few key things that
you can do right now to improve the situation with your spouse.
Of course, fixing a marriage takes time, so I can’t promise that these techniques will
fix your marriage overnight (it probably won’t), but I can assure you with enough time and
effort, you’ll be able to turn the tide.
So take your pencils and paper out to take notes because what I’m about to reveal in
this video might help save your marriage (and your family).
First, I’m going to go over some things you should NOT do… number one, you should
never make the situation worse by inciting arguments and disputes.
Although in order to mend your marriage fully, you both have to communicate your issues in
the marriage.
However, bringing up an extremely touchy subject when things are going really poorly will probably
only makes matter worse.
Second, now is not the time to be overly emotional about everything.
When your marriage is on the rocks, it can be stressful, but do your best to keep a straight
face and concentrate on how you can actually improve your situation.
Third, don’t make fixing your marriage about fixing your spouse.
Although it takes two to tango, right now you need to concentrate on yourself…
everything else will fall into place later on.
Now, before on I get ont to what to actually do to fix your marriage without your partner’s
help, I want to quickly tell you about my free quiz tool that I developed recently that
will determine your approximate chance of fixing your marriage with your spouse.
Based on how you answer the questions on this quiz, you’ll be given a custom tailored
plan on exactly how you can save your marriage TODAY.
To take this short, 5 minute quiz, just head over to www.MarriageGuy.com/quiz - that’s
marriageguy.com/quiz…
so head on over there after you finish watching this video.
Okay.
So now that you know a few common mistakes that people make when trying to fix a marriage,
here are some key actions you take right now moving forward:
1.)
Tip Number One is what I call the ‘marital positive feedback loop’ – this is a technique
that you can use on your own right now to help you rebuild your marriage even if your
spouse doesn’t want to yet.
So what do I mean by a positive feedback loop?
To better explain…
think of your spouse as a mirror.
And whatever you do to this mirror will reflect the exact same behaviour back.
So by treating your spouse with kindness and love, you will in turn receive that behaviour
back… just like a mirror.
But if you start nagging or arguing with your spouse, expect to receive negative treatment
in return.
It seems like such an easy piece of advice to learn, but not many couples really put
this into practice.
2.)
Tip Number Two – Prepare to compromise.
If your marriage is on the rocks and your spouse is being sensitive or touchy, now is
not the time to push those boundaries.
Just like I said at the beginning of this video, don’t cause too much drama – now
is not the time!
Instead, be prepared to compromise on certain things with your spouse.
If he or she is in the bad mood, do the chores.
Don’t do them with a bad attitude or in any negative manner whatsoever.
Instead, do your best to contribute to your marriage in any way you can.
Sooner or later, your spouse will see that changes that you’ve made and will, hopefully,
turn the corner and begin to work on the other areas of your relationship with you.
3.)
Tip Number Three – Reframe your arguments.
Sooner or later, disputes and arguments are inevitably going to occur.
And when they do, you need to maintain a calm, cool mindset… and you also need to make
sure that you’re framing your arguments correctly in such a way that you don’t make
the argument worse.
I call this my Dispute Defusing System it’s the backbone of my system.
If you want to learn more about my Dispute Defusing System, just head over to MarriageGuy.com
and watch that free “how to” video on that website.
Again, that’s www.MarriageGuy.com.
So one of the most important tenets of my Dispute Diffusing System is the word “I”.
If you’ve ever watched two people argue, you’ll notice that the word they use most
is “you”… it’s always “You always do this!”
or “You always do that!”.
When you use the word “you”, you make your spouse feel like they’re 100% responsible
for whatever you’re arguing about.
This sort of alienation will only make matters worse.
So instead, use the word “I” during your arguments…
say something like, “I would feel it would be best if we drove the kids to school early.”
Try it next time you argue with your spouse!
4.)
Finally, Tip Four – Get professional help as soon as you can.
In order to make your marriage whole again, you need to work your way to the point where
you CAN convince your spouse to seek marital help if needed.
I know, I know, this video is all about how to save your marriage if your spouse is unwilling
to do so, but seeking another voice is often times one of the most powerful ways to fix
your marriage.
Luckily for you, I have a great solution…
you can hire ME as your marriage coach!
And you can do this WITHOUT the help of your spouse.
If you want to learn more about how you can hire me as your marriage coach, just head
on over to http://www.MarriageGuy.com/coaching and check out all the details on there.
I promise you it doesn’t cost that much and it will help immensely.
So head on over to MarriageGuy.com/coaching.
By the way, if you have any questions, please feel free to leave them in the comments section
below and I will most definitely get back to you!
Until next time, YouTube…talk soon!