Majority of women struggle to orgasm from penetration. They deeply desire to be able
to reach climax during intercourse but they just can't get there, regardless of how hard they try.
How do I know? They often tell me that in my sex therapy sessions. If you'd like to find
out why that's the case and what to do about it, keep watching! My name is Helena Nista and
I make videos that help you have the best sex of your life. And today we're unpacking female
orgasm during sex and the reasons why so many women can't reach climax during intercourse.
For the first 10 years of my sex life I could never orgasm during sex.
I could reach a quick, sharp clitoral orgasm if I placed a vibrator on my clit for a few minutes.
But during sex with my partner? Forget it! I would even struggle to reach a climax with a vibrator
while my partner was penetrating me. It seemed that the penetration was sort of a distraction
from the clitoral orgasm that I was trying to reach. And so the vibrator-induced clitoral
orgasms during masturbation were my only chance of reaching a climax. I felt terribly envious of
all the women who could orgasm when in bed with their partners. And I felt even more
envious of all the male lovers that I was with. It seemed that for men orgasms were always so easy
and effortless. You can only imagine just how doomed and terribly inadequate I felt.
I kept trying so hard to become orgasmic and I couldn't! And many women feel the same way
in their own sex lives. Now, years later and after having done a lot of work on myself,
I know that not only myself but every single woman is capable of experiencing orgasms during sex.
And that these orgasms don't need to be restricted to just my clit. These orgasms can be expansive,
magical, blissful and deeply satisfying. But I needed to learn a few things about orgasms first
and one of these things is that my orgasms belong to me. That means that ultimately whether I orgasm
or not is up to me. My partner can definitely be helpful while I'm getting there but at the
end of the day I am the only one who can allow or disallow that orgasm to happen. And here, the word
'disallow' is quite important. Because many, many women actually cut themselves off of their orgasm.
Let's see how exactly that happens. A woman needs to surrender to her experience of pleasure
and arousal in order to reach orgasm. And this surrender will only happen if she's feeling safe,
held and seen by her partner. When women orgasm, the centre of their brain responsible for control
shuts down. So when she feels unsafe, when she feels like she needs to remain in control,
she will stay vigilant and that brain centre will remain active. Therefore,
she will struggle to reach an orgasm. Sex, pleasure and arousal happen in the body. Yet,
most of the time women remain in their heads - thinking, worrying, analyzing. Women stress
over the shape, size or look of their bodies, they worry that they take too much time during oral sex
or even plan their to-do list for the following day. There is simply no way she can feel the
waves upon waves of ecstatic pleasure in her body if her attention is elsewhere and if she's stuck
in her head. The only kind of orgasm that can come from tension and effort is this quick, sharp kind
of clitoral orgasm. As we get aroused, we tend to tense our legs and genitals and hold our breath,
in order to 'squeeze out' an orgasm. But these genital sneezes are usually barely satisfying or
worth the effort. The most amazing, mind-blowing, full-body orgasms are the ones that we fall
into without effort, that expands through our systems without us even trying. So instead
of clenching her muscles and constricting her breath, encourage her to relax, let go and enjoy.
A woman's clitoris is a crucial part of her erotic anatomy. Yet most men think that it's the
penetration that will get her there. So they keep thrusting as hard, fast and deep as they can and
the poor clit remains ignored and forgotten, or at most, insufficiently attended to during foreplay.
But her clit is a powerhouse when it comes to her arousal and pleasure. So keep including her clit
in your sexual play, not only a little bit at the beginning but throughout your entire sexual
experience together. A woman needs time to build up enough arousal and sexual energy in her body,
that will take her over the edge of orgasm. If the entire sexual experience only lasts a few minutes,
she simply has got no chance to build up enough erotic charge in her body
to allow that orgasmic response to happen. So if you'd like to learn how to last much,
much longer naturally, make sure to check out my online course for men Tantric Mastery.
I've linked it in the description below. For a truly meaningful and nurturing orgasmic state,
her entire body needs to be awakened, touched and caressed. We are capable of experiencing a lot of
pleasure in different parts of our bodies. So focusing your entire attention and touch in her
genitals alone will result in a reduced quality of experience for her. This one is crucial:
many women are way too passive during sex, while sexual energy needs to move, flow and expand. This
means that the more she's moving and the deeper her breath, the more the arousal can pulsate and
move through her entire system. And the vibration of her voice will further encourage the movement
of her erotic pleasure. This is why whenever I allow myself to be really loud during sex,
my orgasms just seem to keep going and going and going... mmm.... So there you have it! Now
you know exactly why most women struggle to orgasm during sex. And if you use this information well,
you can actually create an opposite experience for her, where she can orgasm abundantly and
easily in your arms. And if you'd like to learn even more about lasting as long as you want and
becoming the kind of lover that women dream about, see if my online course Tantric Mastery For Men
is right for you. It's a seven week journey for any man who would love to become an extraordinary
lover. You'll find the link in the description below. And now please make sure to like,
comment and subscribe, if you haven't already. It means the world to me to hear from you and
to read your stories and insights about the things I share. I always respond to comments
personally and I can't wait to read yours. Have a fabulous day and I'll see you next time!