In a loud booming voice, a judge stares down at a man and orders him to declare what terrible
sins he committed during his time on Earth.
This man has been through hell and back traversing the Underworld, and now here he stands in
front of 42 mean looking judges, ready to explain to them what wrongdoings he had done
in his life.
“But…but…I am sinless,” the man says, after addressing each judge by name.
“We’ll see about that,” says a God that appears on the scene, and he pulls out some
scales.
On one side of the scales there is a feather.
The God now demands, “Put your heart on the other side of the scale.”
The man does as he is told, and lo and behold, his heart weighs the same as the feather.
This is noted by yet another God, and the man smiles, knowing he is on his way to a
good place.
That’s actually a true story…well…it’s not exactly true, but it’s true in the sense
that ancient Egyptians believe this kind of thing.
And why not; many people today believe in a heaven and a hell, and some people believe
we can actually be born again.
We know this because modern humans have transcribed something called the Egyptian Book of The
Dead, which isn’t actually one book, but a series of transcripts.
These magical and mind-blowing texts you will see, reveal some fascinating facts about how
those people lived.
Today you are going to hear, perhaps for the first time in your life, what the Egyptians
thought about death and beyond, and you’ll also hear about the multitude of spells they
used to get to the afterlife.
First of all, let’s get back to that guy that passed the heart weighing test.
When that test was performed he was at a place called the Hall of Maat.
Maat was a Goddess…the God of things such as morality, justice, truth, harmony, balance
and law.
Yep, it was a bit like going to court, finding yourself in the hall of Maat, except you didn’t
have to hire an expensive lawyer to get there…you just had to get through the Underworld.
As you’ll find out, that wasn’t easy at all.
So, this man was found “Not Guilty”… his heart was a thumping featherweight.
What next?
Well, first we should tell you that if his heart had weighed more than that feather,
things would have been different.
He would have met with the demoness Goddess named Ammit.
She was basically a soul destroyer…and if you were sent to her you could kiss your chances
of being reborn goodbye.
But he passed, and so he went off to see the God of the afterlife, of fertility, of rebirth.
This God was named Osiris You see, this guy…sorry…God, was the God
of agriculture and fertility.
The Egyptians saw very clearly that things like plants die, and they also grow.
Things pass away, and they come into being.
So, why not people...
The soul is eternal, those ancient people believed.
These texts relating to what goes down in the Underworld and how someone might get to
meet Osiris or Ammit, were sometimes carved onto the walls of the Pyramids and right on
the sarcophagi that contained the dead body.
1000’s of spells were written over many dynasties, and these all related to getting
through the underworld and reaching a place similar to what we might now call heaven.
These spells were found on what we refer to as the “Coffin Texts” and “Book of the
Dead” and the “Pyramid Texts.”
An important person died and they were buried with the tools to get them out of being dead.
Think of it as having a cheat mode to get an extra life in a video game.
We should add that the Pyramid Texts were focused on pharaohs dying, but the earlier
Coffin Texts were everyman’s advice for life after death.
The Book of the Dead was kind of somewhere in the middle.
It was used for royalty, but also officials and the people that worked for them.
One of the best examples of the Book of the dead that has been preserved is something
called “Papyrus of Ani.”
It’s cool because it includes beautiful illustrations along with cursive hieroglyphs.
One of the spells in this Papyrus is kind of a key to heaven, it’s something that
the dead could recite so they could be judged.
The thing is, it’s hard to speak with a closed mouth, so the Book of the Dead also
includes some text which should have ensured the dead could speak.
This was called the opening of the mouth ritual, and it would be performed so the dead could
eat, drink, and talk.
A bit of it found in the Book of the Dead went like this:
“My mouth is given to me, My mouth is opened by Ptah,
With that chisel of metal With which he opened the mouth of the gods.”
So, now the dead could speak, they would have to stand up and talk with the Gods that would
judge them.
You couldn’t just go up there and start rambling on about how much you missed life.
You had to conduct yourself well and use the right words.
Here’s another part of a spell, and it was used to show that the dead were well-informed
about the afterlife.
Part of it went like this: “All the evil which was on me has been removed.
What does that mean?
It means that I was cleansed on the day of my birth in the two great and noble marshes
which are in Heracleopolis on the day when the common folk make offerings to the Great
God who is therein.”
There are spells for all kinds of things, and these were written over centuries.
You see, once in the Underworld, the person didn’t only just have to have an open mouth,
but they had to eat…there is also a spell for how to drink beer, which is very important
when navigating the underworld all by yourself.
There’s even a spell for how to open up the hole in your rear and take a poo.
If they wanted food and beer, they had to know the spell for the “Bull of heaven.”
Part of this is pretty weird, and goes, “She whose name has power in her craft and sucking
toes.”
The Egyptians were rightly fearful of dangerous snakes and crocodiles, which were everywhere
in the Underworld, so the dead needed spells to cast them away.
Here’s one that shuts a croc’s mouth when it comes across the travelling dead:
“Get back, you crocodile of the West!
The nau-snake is in my belly, and I have not given myself to you, your flame will not be
on me.”
Once the crocodile is out of the way, the texts then explain how to grab a ferryboat
to the next location.
So, the dead could speak, eat, get drunk, poo, ward off dangerous animals and they had
transportation.
The dead might get through a good part of the Underworld, but there would also be gates
and they would be guarded by scary entities.
To get through those gates, the dead had to know the guardians’ names.
So, they might go up to a gate that is guarded and say, “Hey, I know you, you are ‘He
who lives on snakes, or they might go up to another gate and tell someone that they are
‘Hippopotamus-faced, raging of power.’
So, let’s say they get through the gates and then comes their judgment day.
Now they will have to state that they did not commit sins when they were living...42
sins in all, one for each judge.
Some of the sins include: “I have not slain people...
I have not stolen the gods’ property...
I have not caused (anyone) to weep...
I have not carried out grain-profiteering...
I have not (sinfully) copulated...
I have not been the cause of terror.”
Some sins must have been very hard not to commit, such as not cursing, or evesdropping,
or being angry without cause, or even telling a lie.
As you know, to prove they weren’t lying, they might have had their heart weighed against
a feather.
But, what if they were judged to have been sinful?
Well, this was something that the ancient Egyptians feared, because their hell wasn’t
exactly a good place to be.
Just in case they landed there, they had a spell which was a list of things they weren’t
prepared to do.
Such as these things: “I detest what is detestable.
I will not eat feces, I will not drink urine, I will not walk head down.”
Walking with your head down doesn’t seem that big of an issue, but you can understand
them not wanting to eat their own pee and poo.
Now you have to go watch this, “Unbelievable Stuff They Didn't Teach You About Ancient
Egypt.”
Or, watch this “Was it Impossible for Humans to Build The Pyramids?”