My dad is a magician.
He's done that my entire life.
He was a clown at the very beginning,
just in case you're like, "How do you get into something like that?" Uh...
[laughter]
It goes clown, then magic. There's two steps.
You can take them in either order.
[laughter]
I was born, he was a clown.
It was never weird to me.
I thought everybody's dad was a clown.
[laughter]
My, uh, first memory of my life
is I was five years old,
and I remember my mom walked me out to the front yard,
and my dad pulled up... We had this old red Mazda.
He's dressed as a clown, that doesn't even faze me.
That's just how he left. How else would he come home?
And...
[laughter]
The Easter Bunny was in the passenger seat.
That's the first thing that I remember, to my life.
If you want to know how you get into comedy,
that's a pretty good nudge.
[laughter]
And I remember it didn't fit.
The Easter Bunny head didn't fit in the car.
Like, he couldn't sit normal,
so his head was bent to the side.
[laughter]
And I remember he had his seat belt on,
and he's just like... and I was like...
[laughs]
I like to think about all the other people that saw that.
Just in the car next to them, just at a red light,
you're like, "I didn't even know they hung out like that." Uh...
[laughter]
So, me and my dad, we do...
He just does magic now, and he's very good at what he does.
He's very funny, and we do shows together.
So, uh, one time, we did this show.
Magicians have conventions where they get together
and they buy and sell tricks, and they give a lecture,
and they do this big show.
So this guy was putting one together in Des Moines, Iowa,
which is the birthplace of magic, something a lot of people don't know.
And... It's not, but that does sound like it could be.
I don't know why.
I said that in Des Moines,
and people are like, "I think I already knew that." Uh...
They're like, "No. Uh, yeah, he's... No, he's right."
So, this guy calls me, he's like, "Your dad's performing this year,
so we want you to come down,
and we're gonna make you appear out of a magic trick."
I'm gonna come out, I'm gonna surprise my dad,
surprise the audience, everybody will go crazy,
and then I'll do five minutes of stand-up, and that will end the show.
He's like, "It's gonna be a big deal." I was like, "All right." I agreed to it.
I fly to Des Moines.
[clears throat] I'm hiding. I'm in my room. No one knows I'm there.
The show starts.
My dad's out performing, I climb in a box backstage.
When my dad gets done performing,
they ask him to stay and help, and they push the box out.
The trick is, the guy has a very pretty lady assistant.
She walks around, shows the box is empty, and then she climbs in.
Normally, it just falls apart, and then she disappears.
But now, it falls apart, and it's me, and I pop out.
And you have to come out big.
I don't know if you've ever appeared out of a magic trick, but...
[laughter]
if you do, you can't just be like, "How you doing?"
-You know? Like... -[laughter]
It's gotta be a big grand, like, "Can you believe it?"
[clears throat] And I look at my dad, his face is so surprised.
He had no idea.
But his eyes are just like, "Why would you ever do this?"
And I was like, "Is this not a good time to visit you?"
Uh...
[laughter]
The audience is clapping, but they're not going that crazy...
Like, they start... The clapping starts dying down,
and as I'm standing there, it's, like, hitting me.
I was like, "I don't think they know who we are."
That guy told me they did, and they don't.
They don't know that's my dad, they don't know I'm a comedian.
This looks like the stupidest trick they've ever seen.
[laughter]
It doesn't make sense.
They're like, 'A pretty girl goes in and just a whatever dude pops out?
That's your trick?
Your trick is backwards, sir.
It's backwards."
[laughter]
And now I gotta do comedy, but they don't know I'm a comedian.
So I get a microphone, they're like, "He's gonna talk to us now?
How long is this trick?"
[laughter]
When you do comedy in front of people not expecting comedy,
it does not come off as comedy.
[laughter]
It sounds like a mean speech.
They were just like, "Get back in the box. Where's the girl?
Is she fine? Can we hear from her?"
[laughter]