Top of the morning to you.
Wait a minute.
Ain't that Irish?
Anyway, good morning.
Today is the day we've all been waiting for.
Today is the day that Prince Harry marries Meghan Markle.
Oh, what a wonderful time it is going to be.
However, it is very early, early in the morning.
And Kalen don't really do anything
before 12:00 noon, honey.
He likes to get his beauty sleep.
Ain't nobody got time for bags under their eyes
for sleep deprivation.
Absolutely not.
Anyway, I am sure this is going to be
a very beautiful ceremony.
So let's get to it, honey.
Let's get cracking.
Or is it crumpets?
Anyway, here we go.
Now, David, you mad disrespectful for this.
How you going to show up to somebody else's wedding looking
like a whole snack?
Actually, forget the snack, baby.
You looking like a whole meal.
Look at this double breasted vest.
Can I get that through your H&M line?
Baby, that is so fresh and so clean.
Clean.
But I really want to know why Victoria dressed for a funeral.
You all did tell her this was a wedding, right?
Honey, that black ain't cute.
Mhm.
You need to wear something brighter.
Now, sugar pie honey bun, why in the world
did you show up looking like the green tea Arizona Tea can?
And baby, I know good and well that dress wasn't $0.99.
[CACKLES]
Honey, that designer done bamboozled you.
He done went to Walgreens, grabbed that can,
and put it on some fabric.
Girl, I hope you got the receipt.
Honey, take a can with you, baby.
The price is on.
And maybe they price match.
Do they even sell Arizonas in London?
Absolutely not.
Mm-mm-mm.
No, ma'am.
Wait a minute.
Y'all, is that mother Oprah?
Long live the queen.
Yes indeed Mamma Oprah.
You better be at the royal wedding.
Jesus, that is a long walk.
Honey, I would have told my Uber Black
to drop me off at the door.
I know them bunions is screaming.
Baby, maybe there's a gift shop inside.
They can go in there and ask, do they got Dr. Scholes.
[LAUGHTER]
Oh, god.
Look at Chelsea.
Poor baby.
Can you imagine having to go to your ex's wedding?
And it's a royal one at that.
Jesus.
Be offense.
Oh my goodness.
Look at her.
Poor thing.
Mm-mm-mm.
It's OK, honey.
Keep the faith.
You're going to find you a man.
Now, why'd Steadman make Oprah come alone?
Girl, you ain't got no plus one?
It's OK.
I understand an independent black woman
that don't need no man.
OK.
But would somebody please help mother find her seat.
Where the ushers at?
Check her ticket.
She lost.
Oh, poor baby.
Oh, OK.
There goes Elton John.
Oh, that's David Beckham.
Oh, y'all done kissed on the lips.
OK.
Oh, wait a minute.
I know he did not just lick his lips.
Ha!
[LAUGHING]
I wasn't ready.
I was not ready for that.
There she is.
Oh my, gosh.
I'm going to cry.
What are y'all doing back there?
Fix her train.
I promise you, if she trips, I'm suing.
Look at the babies.
Look at the babies!
Oh my goodness, this is like a live action Rugrats.
We brought the whole daycare.
This is way better than the marriage of Mia Thermopolis,
Queen of Genovia, baby.
All of this culture.
Jesus.
Listen, I just got to keep my do rag on for this one.
Look at that natural hair.
Oh, this is so beautiful.
This is going to be my wedding when I marry Beyonce.
Come on now, preacher man.
You better take me to church.
Won't he do it.
Glory.
Baby, those folks out there don't know what's going on.
They don't know what to say.
But look at Oprah.
Honey, she get it.
Look at her swaying back and forth.
Let him use you, honey.
Let him use your system.
My god.
Mm--mm-mm.
Won't he do it.
Well, that's the end.
And I must say, what a blessed and black
celebration it has been.
And now, baby, I need to go get on Bumble
and find me somebody royal to wed.
[GIGGLES]
No exceptions.
[GIGGLE]