(upbeat techno music)
- I think about my clitoris really, really hard, I can come.
- 17 times a day is quite excessive.
- I know.
- I want to experiment with role play
but he's only just become comfortable with dirty talk,
so how soon is too soon?
- You won't know unless you ask.
You always need to wash your penis.
- Always?
- Always.
(crowd chattering)
- Good evening, parents of Moordale.
- Our children are dying!
- [Parents] Yeah!
- No one is dying.
- And how will you stop them dying?
- [Parents] Yeah!
Well, we are encouraging all the students
to get treated with antibiotics
and we will be re-educating them on safer sex practices.
(parents arguing) - Everything is fine.
- Teenagers don't listen!
(parents arguing)
- How will you be re-educating them on safer sex practices?
- [Parents] Yeah!
- Well, by re-educating them on safer sex...
- [man] Come on!
- Practices.
- I believe what we're dealing with here
is an outbreak of STI hysteria,
rather than an outbreak of chlamydia.
You cannot catch this disease through breathing.
It is spread through genital fluids,
exchanged during unprotected sex.
However, it is the misinformation about the disease
that's hugely problematic.
It comes shrouded in shame and misunderstanding.
And is precisely how this kind of hysteria is spread.
- [Parents] Yeah.
- So, how will you be addressing that?
[Parents] Yeah.
- We will be returning to our tried
and tested sex education curriculum.
(parents arguing)
- Well, with all due respect sir,
your curriculum isn't working.
As a sexual health professional, may I suggest
that you look into tailoring your program
to give our teenagers the correct tools
to be able to free themselves from this unwarranted stigma?
- And what exactly are those tools?
- The three Ts.
Trust, talking and truth.
(parents cheering)
- No, no, no.
(whirring)
- You said it wasn't gonna take long!
(whirring continues) - Just stop!
- Three more screws.
- Look, I didn't ask for a fucking pan shelf
in the first place.
My pan shelf is fine.
- Your pans don't fit.
- My pans...
fit fine.
(pans clanging)
Colander.
- Take your hand away.
(clanging)
("Freed From Desire")
- Can I tell you something?
- Yeah!
- I don't have many friends.
- Me neither!
- Sometimes I get so lonely I could cry.
- Me too!
But even though I do miss Michael,
I feel so free now he's gone.
- I think I made a mistake with Jakob.
I miss him.
- What?
I can't hear you.
- I think we should do this again.
- Yeah! Dancing is amazing!
- [Jean] Adam.
- Yeah?
- [Jean] Do you smoke every day?
- Yeah, most days Mrs...
- Just call me Jean.
You know, they've been doing some interesting studies
with cannabis.
They're just starting to wake up to its health benefits.
- Yeah like...
How it makes everything funny?
You know, like your face.
Ever so serious, like a atlas.
(laughs)
- However, it has been linked to early onset impotence,
Nothing conclusive yet.
But you have to be careful with how much smoke.
- Mum, mum.
- I only bring this up because I have a number of clients
who were heavy drug users at your age,
and now they have trouble with sexual performance.
- Sexual performance?
- They have trouble finishing.
Ejaculation. Jizz, spunk.
Man milk.
- Mum, Jesus Christ!
- Darling, you're wearing a hat.
- And I'm all orange.
- Yes, I can see that.
You joining us on movie night, Eric?
- Yeah, actually we're going out.
- Oh, where you going?
- Nowhere.
- A party!
An actual party that we have actually been invited to.
- Not technically invited.
- Whose party?
- Is no one's.
- Share, Aimee Gibbs.
She's like one of the most popular girls in school.
- You're wearing aftershave Otis.
Is there someone special
that you're going to meet tonight?
- Well, there's this girl... - No, it's just a party-
Very normal, boring. In fact, utterly platonic.
- Right. Well, if you're going to do drugs tonight,
remember to buddy up.
- Mum!
- And look after one another.
Let me get you some condoms.
- No thanks mum! Bye.
("Walk Right In")
- Morning darling.
Do you want any tea?
♪ Daddy let your mind roll on ♪
♪ Walk right in ♪
♪ Sit back down ♪
Will you save the crossword for me, please?
♪ Everybody's talkin' ♪
♪ 'Bout a new way of walkin' ♪
♪ Do you wanna lose your mind? ♪
♪ Walk right in ♪
♪ Sit back down ♪
♪ Daddy let your mind roll on ♪
You've been very quiet lately sweetheart.
Is there anything wrong?
- I made some notes on your book.
The one about me.
You should consider using a thesaurus in the future.
Your vocabulary is very limited.
- Otis, let's talk about this in a calm and rational way.
- Not calm! Not rational!
- We'll talk about it later, darling.
(music continues)