now if you guys are anything like me and
there's this really childish part of you
that loves to try and scare and terrify
your close friends and family because
when you do it right on the right people
you get this really instinctual and
terrified response you get to see fear
and one of its most pure forms you get
to see their fight-or-flight response
and there are two really interesting
things about this response the first
thing is that it cannot tell the
difference between a life-threatening
stimulus like a lion roaring behind us
and a non-life-threatening stimulus like
an airport it skips all logical thought
and goes straight to worst-case scenario
the second interesting thing is that it
has conditioned us to prioritize
negative information when this response
was evolving it was negative information
that made the difference between life or
death when early humans were fighting
for survival
it was the negative information that
always pointed towards death and there
was nothing more important than survival
so early humans learned to pay very
close attention to negative information
more so than positive information and we
still have that bias enough today we
still have the negativity bias and what
it feels like today we're not as much
fighting for survival and this is Black
Friday shopping we're mostly good what
it looks like when you really study you
study really hard and you get a 90 on a
quiz and that 10% that came off came
from a really silly mistake you kick
yourself for it you don't think about
the 90% you got right you think about
the 10% you missed
that's why negativity bias and I don't
want to add you know salt to the wound
but it gets worse there is no shortage
of negativity today I'm not even going
to talk about the news cycle that's bad
enough as it is
but even within our own personal lives
things can always go wrong there's
always the poorly timed illnesses
compounding schoolwork losing your job
not getting that internship anything
that can go wrong seems like it will go
wrong we don't need this bias to kick us
while we're down this really interesting
phrase in neuroscience neurons that fire
together
wired together as neuropsychologist Rick
Hansen puts it passing mental states
become lasting neural traits the more
time we spend processing and thinking
about and responding to negative stimuli
the easier it becomes for us to do so in
the future the more connections and
tools our brain has to do so in the
future what does this mean for our
humanity who what does it mean for Who I
am to you I define our humanity is our
innate interest in the well-being of
other people but when you guys are
really stressed out when you guys have a
lot of schoolwork when you guys have a
lot of work expectations even when
you're hungry it's not the easiest thing
for me to care about another person's
needs for the term hangry comes from I
remember spring semester last year I had
three exams and one paper all due on a
Monday I asked one of the professors hey
can you move this now okay I asked all
the professors can you move this exam no
all right so the weekend beforehand I
was studying like a madman I was in the
library for maybe ten hours both
Saturday and Sunday and this buddy of
mine comes up to me asked hey Chris do
you want to go to this intramural
basketball game I have no I'm busy I
don't have time for that
and it's interesting research is
starting to show that these same
symptoms these rather less human
symptoms have been shown in people that
are chronically exposed to long term
stress they've cited symptoms of
desensitization contempt and hostility
towards others in complete apathy not
the most human characteristics well
there's good news I'll give you a little
bit of good news I can't give you too
much but I'll give you a little bit we
can use that same neuroscience principle
there ons that fire together wire
together we can use that to start to
level the playing field between positive
and negative neuropsychologist Rick
Hanson has this interesting way of
putting we can use the mind to change
the brain which will in turn changes the
mind by a show of hands how many of you
have ever tried to learn a new language
nearly all of you so you guys remember
when you were first learning whatever
language it was and you were try
to create those really basic and
primitive sentences it took a lot of
effort you put a lot of time into
translating each word individually and
then stitching it back together in the
right order but as you did it more and
more and you practiced it became less
conscious what you were doing was you
were forcing your brain to create more
and more and more connections where the
where that language was being processed
and generated and over time it became
automatic you used your mind to change
the composition and structure of your
brain which in turn changed your mind it
became automatic and we can use that to
our advantage to level this playing
field the middle of my freshman year was
a really difficult time for me I was so
focused on schoolwork that I was not
creating the amount of time I needed to
socialize and make friends I was
struggling and around the same time I
was dealing with my first ever breakup I
was dealing with really strong feelings
of loneliness and negativity and so I
came up with a couple methods that I'm
gonna share with you guys that helped me
prioritize positive information more and
more and more gradually first method
first thing I want you to do all
throughout the day I use this I do this
every day
anytime something good happens to you I
want you to stay in that moment just a
little bit longer let yourself feel that
sweet serotonin and dopamine all too
often when something bad happens to us
we let it sink in we let it get to us
but when something good happens whatever
don't do that you can train yourself not
to do that and more and as you keep
doing that and more good things keep
happening you don't have to take that
moment you just feel it automatically so
throughout the day it doesn't matter how
dumb the good thing is if you had a
really good BLT feel it it is fine so
that's the first method you can do that
all throughout the day
the second method I call it the
one-two-three method
first thing I want to do I want you to
take a deep breath before I came down on
stage now I was standing up there I
could feel my heart beating I took two
deep breaths I could still feel it but
less so it's like hitting a reset button
it feels fantastic give yourself that
time acknowledge that nothing can hurt
you
the second thing I want you to do I want
you to think of the two best things that
happen to you that day I typically do
this when I go to bed when I lie down it
only takes about a minute or two think
of the two best things or just two good
things that happen you that day again
BLT Oh doesn't matter anything what you
do when you're bringing it back up is
you're reinforcing and recreating those
connections you're you're augmenting
that positive experience the last thing
I want you to do I want you to think of
three people that you know care about
you I want you to think of three people
that you care about as well I want you
to think of ways that they have showed
you that they care about you and think
of ways that you can show them that you
care about what you're doing is you're
creating these connections in your head
that are responsible for the compassion
you feel for other people they're
responsible for your human behaviors and
by thinking of them and repeating that
every night over and over you are slowly
strengthening that part of your brain
that process is good news
now before I go I have to sort of
disclaimers first thing I am NOT a
trained professional this is not this
should not be your primary care if you
are feeling yeah it's pretty obvious if
you are feeling really strong and
chronic negative emotions I've urge you
to please see a trained professional at
best this can be a supplement but don't
let it be your first choice second thing
is I'm really not trying to convert you
guys this sort of like hippie good vibes
only sort of thing that's that's not the
point even though I've spent almost ten
minutes ragging on negative information
it does serve a purpose that negativity
bias is the reason we learn so well from
our mistakes that negativity bias is the
reason we're capable of compassion oh oh
because our failures make us all the
more capable of compassion other people
the problem is that you know the folker
it's not it's not even negativity by far
outweighs positivity research has shown
that negative information is processed
about five times stronger than positive
information that's by acknowledging that
we have this negativity bias and taking
the proper steps to level the playing
field and giving yourself those neural
resources the struggle to remain human
doesn't have to be a battle that we lose
all the time it can become a winnable
battle and we can live far more happy
and human lives thank you