Hello everybody! My name is Markiplier and these are my bros.
Say hi bros!
incoherent mumbling
Bob: Hello Ethan: Hey Guys
Tyler: Sup
Wade: Hello
M: Yes and please
W: YES AND HELLO
E: Yes, and we're here today to play a little game
M: Yes, and that game is called change
Again a late Wade: YES
You've seen-
Wade:And... Go ahead.
You've seen it! You love it! You know it! YOU WANT MORE OF IT!
HERE IT IS TODAY!
W: change
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
E: change
I am a sassy sack of shit yes I am...
So you know how it works. Bob, explain how it works
Oh, uh
Each of us knows how to word say the word change out loud
And it will start doing a scene with like two of us
And then a designated person will be allowed to just be an asshole and when the asshole says change
The last person speak to has to change whatever they said and the-and the asshole can keep saying change until they're happy
M: yeah
B: And then that's the reality
M: It'll make sense once we get started
You are two angry retail workers on Black Friday
Kids keep messing up *mark making kaching sound* the shelf man!
If I get another kid who comes in here and grabs every fucking thing off the shelf
I'm gonna lose my goddamn mind
Look, we gotta get through this. We're being paid 1.5 times pay which is overtime
We're making a lot of money...
A lot what? One and a half times my normal pay is still only like $14 an hour
Well, I mean you gotta think on the bright side-
Wade: Change!
14! I'm making 32!
Wade: Change!
OH NO, I forgot to tell you... only I'm making double pay
You're not!
Bob: What the hell?! Why- That was the only reason I agree to do this! You're the manager. Why-Why are you fucking me?
Well, I mean I don't want to-
Bob: You are literally bending me over this register-
Wade: CHANGE!
B: You are literally ripping my pants off
W: CHANGE!
B: You are literally delicately undoing my belt like a ghost, sliding my pants off sensually
W: CHANGE!
B: You literally put your penis into my butthole
And you liked doing it!
M: Now look! You are gonna work today
And you're gonna do it for free because you've been freeloading
and been skipping out on me because you've been sick so much
B: For free?!
M: Yeah for free!
B: You're at least gonna pay me half of what I normally get
M: Okay
W: Change!
M: Oh, you tough negotiator.
Wade: Change!
I'll pay you two pieces of shit cuz that's all you're worth-
Change!
I
have your pay
somewhere on my body
And if you want to get paid, you not only have to find it
But you have to find it before the end of your shift
Can I at least use my hands this time ?
Change!
Can I use anything that I want?
Change!
Howwww deep inside of you is it? Let's be real..
Oh man! Oh you's trying to get an easy answer out of me. I'll give you a hint. It's in one of my buttholes
WHAT!?!??!
Okay, look you'll get half your pay
We'll start you on health insurance next year
But you've got to get this line taken care of. These people are getting rowdy!! Listen to 'em
Haaaaaaaaa
You were not specific about how...
So you're saying if I get rid of this line of people like as quickly as possible
M: Yes
Yeah, I get all those things you promise
Yes
Alright!
On three!
Whoaaaa-ohhhhoh
B: THREE! M: GO!!
Is that what a crowd of people sounds like to you?
Alright this is Dan!
Dan: Hey
M: He's the music man
Alrighttt
Alright, okay, so... you are two salt miners
Taking a break from your back-breaking labors.
Dan: Sure is hard down in those salt mine... Nice to get a break!
Bob: Nice up here though, huh?
Yeah it is...
this, uh...
hellscape of a... uh... alien world that we're in
mining salt for Earth
millions of miles away
Guess that's our lot in life.
Don't have to season our lunches though. That's nice.
Yup! See what we got here-
-rub it on...
Hmmm?
Salt.
Salt everywhere.
D: That's true. B: That's cool.
That's the bonus. Well, I'm gonna open up mine here.
Yep, it's ham and cheese and alien bread.
Change!
It's a uhhhhh muenster and
uhhh roast beef and alie-
Change!
Umm... it's Swiss chard and
ummm...asshole?
Yeah, that's got a lot of it here. That's just what they have here on this alien planet. It's just rich and
Rich in assholes passable no yeah
I see them everywhere mmm popping around
M: change
just rolling around
M: change
They don't move it's laid around everywhere
assholes I'm honestly curious how they got so evenly distributed around the planet but
Yeah, don't don't question us or we'll kill you you know in the regiment
You know the managers are always talking about having so many rectums, and they're concerned, but we can't ask about it. Well I was follwing one around
D: Oh B: who was talking about it with this other management guy
What'd he say?
So that they couldn't hear me but like now I can tell that story, and everyone will appreciate it. D: Gimme that whisper one more time
Yeah
Right there it's kind of arousing actually
Doing the salt mine you know and we're like Hey Jake hey jake and we're just like (mumbling) and I'm mining the salt mine
What makes it fun you know that's your technique is I'm more I'm more of like a
kind of a guy (M: Change)
Like a I'm more of like a whoa kind of a guy, and it hurts me when I do that
Was pretty clear yeah, you know you don't want to try and break up the salt with
Something change what you don't want to try and pick up the salt with that dick
And it was weird I thought it was weird that the video phrased it like that
But I get it now because obviously some people just feel a lot of emotion
I do that, but just dicking is it heavy, or is it sharp (M:change) is it girthy, or is it sort of jabby? (Offscreen: change *while giggling*)
What attachments do you put on the end of your penis to mine so efficently
That's a good question, Bill (M: change) That's a good question Henry. (M: change ) That's a good question *weird alien sound*
I always wondered where this name came from but- B: to be clear. Yeah, it's pronounced *different weird alien sound*
D: *repeats bobs alien sound* B:What you said is actually a swear word on this planet?
Management yes. I'm just gonna do a favor for you, though
You said that voice turned you on too - I thought I was the only one do this thing we're down there
You know sometimes you need to like clear some rubble and do what I do as I take my pickaxe and I rest it
Right on the shaft shorten, and then you can sort of lean down and pretend like you're doing something
basically fucking your pick-ax
Your
two
Husbands in a store waiting for your wives to finish shopping. Tim, I'm gonna be real with you
E: Be real with me
My wife left me a week ago. I just stand here
Remembering the good old times of waiting for her to be done shopping E: Tim
As you know W: I know Tim I had no idea well, it's the truth
Just I miss her and I don't know what else to do the only time we ever spent together was whenever we we were out shopping
And we're out shopping
She just left me standing in Walsh's shop, so I guess wouldn't listen which time together at all
Yet I miss it
So I just stand here hopin' another wife will walk into my life one day and be that cool shake my hand
I'll say hey. Hey shake mine
Maybe they will you know (T: change) you never hey?
Don't don't you know don't get your hopes up way too high (T:change)
We'll find you another you know, I'll be your wingman
What if we do that yeah, that's why should have plenty of time while your wife's doing
I'm just a single woman shopping (T: change)
*Mark singing*
Excuse me, yes, hello, are you in the market for a nice young man?
Are you in the market (T: change) for it are you looking for someone to
Really get you oh
Yes, absolutely
My husband he wouldn't wait for me
I've always wanted a man who would wait well this man right here his name is Tim. Uh he does so much waiting
He'll wait for years from you. They call me a waiter. That's a serving kind of change
They call me sir waits-a-lot cuz I like to wait good job. I
Do wait, I do nothing, but wait. I just stand here all day waiting wanting to find someone who will make me wait
Well, I'm almost convinced, but you know I've just been out of a very troubling relationship
and I don't know if I'm ready to jump at in is there something you could like do this'll prove to me that you're
You're you're *whispers* right for me
Yes, yes, I have a little waiting dance. I like to do it's sharp. Oh, it's getting late.
Oooo but I can wait
Times a-tickin better start sticking how long
Time goes on but pants come off
Anyway that is change. Thank you everybody so much for watching
Ethan, Wade, Tyler, Bob and special appearance by Dan the music man D: Hey
Hey, if you enjoyed this and want to see more improv stuff let us know down in the comments below
Thank you everybody so much for watching and as always. What see you the next one
Bye bye bye