MAN: Your inner labia are closed together and slightly shiny.
VOICEOVER: Today, I’m in a room with three other people. One of them is about to have an orgasm.
MAN: ...and it’s dimpled with short frequent wrinkles.
VOICEOVER: So... how did we get here?
Sometimes, sex can seem like a mystery. And most of the time, that mystery is about women.
I’m very curious if the g-spot really really really exists
Today the female orgasm remains one of the greatest and most controversial mysteries
in all of human sexuality.
It’s easy to make a man come, it’s hard to make a woman come.
Clearly sexual pleasure is complicated and requires years of practice. So I went out
to find out how hardworking, sexually active Americans are dealing with this struggle.
How much have you guys spent on books to achieve orgasm?
None.
No classes, no books, no magazines?
I don’t think I’ve spent any money, no.
Have you ever read books or spent money on trying to understand how your own sexuality works?
No, no, no.
You didn’t have to spend years and years trying to figure out your body?
No, no, no.
Do you guys feel like you’ve unlocked the full potential of your penises?
Yeah.
Did you have to figure out what you... what makes you feel comfortable, what you like,
what you don’t like?
It was you know, easy peasy... you know… to be honest. [laughs]
So is it easy-peasy for women too? In hookups, men are twice as likely to orgasm as women.
But in the context of relationships, women orgasm about 80% as often as men.
In reality, the female orgasm isn’t that elusive for those who care to find it.
Still there’s an almost cult-like industry built around the female orgasm, promising empowerment,
pleasure, and vitality.
This energy is not just about sexuality, it’s about vitality.
Women with depression, chronic illness, if you are having trouble getting pregnant, if
you have PTOS, if you have consistent reproductive issues, it is all about not being connected
to your sexual energy. It’s all an invitation to step into your sexual energy.
OneTaste is one of those companies.
What it is is insight into the treacherous territory of a woman’s mind.
They promise all kinds of benefits from practicing what they call “orgasmic meditation,”
or OM.
This is Aubrey Agrawal, an Instructor at OneTaste NYC.
Well we say, like, ‘if you have a pussy get it stroked, if you don’t, stroke one’.
People usually think it’s a sexuality practice. It’s not a sexuality practice, it’s a
consciousness practice that includes the genitals.
And what is OMing?
The stroker strokes the clitoris for 15 minutes. There’s no goal except to just feel
the sensation that arises and just feel the connection. And it’s always within that
container of 15 minutes.
Cultivating my orgasm and having sovereignty over my own orgasm and my own body, that was
like the missing ingredient.
I kind of thought that the missing ingredient was sex and relationship and then I tried
it and I was like ‘wow’. It wasn’t actually sex that I was missing, it was deep direct
connection with someone else. I could actually sit back and find where my real desire was
and now I’m in a very happy relationship.
The men and women practicing orgasmic meditation seem to be getting something out of it. But
the idea of solving life’s problems through the mysterious female orgasm is nothing new.
You know this used to be a prescription for what’s called
being a woman.
For hundreds of years, women were diagnosed with the catchall dysfunction of “hysteria,”
with symptoms like nervousness, sexual desire, and “a tendency to cause trouble.”
And the way to treat hysteria? Have an orgasm! So today, it’s a little uncomfortable to
hear about the “mysteries” of the female orgasm.
Do you see something unique about female sexuality compared to male sexuality?
It’s the mystery, right? I think that’s just the nature of it. The nature of the feminine,
in a way, is that it’s a little bit mysterious, and there’s a deeper level of exploration
and a more nuanced exploration in order to access it and learn about it.
But it doesn’t have to be so mysterious. The fact that lesbian women have considerably
more orgasms than straight women should tell us that it’s not about women’s bodies.
Women’s bodies aren’t the problem, the way we talk about them is. We should empower
women to discuss their right to pleasure. So if you think your partner’s orgasm is
elusive, maybe the problem isn’t the female body. Maybe it’s you.