[How to talk to women | 5 things you should never say] -intro music-
I often hear women complain that they really like a guy.
And then he puts his foot in his mouth. Not literally,
that would be a little weird..
Because the truth is that a beautiful sought after woman has a lot of options.
So if you say the wrong thing, when you first meet her,
it could totally turn her off.
And the following are the most common questions and statements that most guys
say to women that will make you appear needy and not confident.
So you need to stop saying these immediately, especially the last two.
And so many guys say these and women hate it. And of course,
I'm going to show you what to say instead so that you appear as a confident,
attractive man. All right, let the countdown begin with number five.
"Where do you want to go on our date?" Do not ask her where she wants to go or
what she wants to do on the date. Now I know, I know you're thinking why not?
It seems logical.
I want to take her to a place that she wants to go so that she's happy so that
she enjoys the date. If I take her to her favorite place,
it's going to be a good date. She's going to enjoy it. And yes, logically,
that makes sense.
But women don't want to be the one who decides everything for the date.
She wants you to do that.
Have you ever heard that a woman likes a man with a plan? She wants a leader,
a man who takes charge,
who steps into his masculinity and leads the way..
It doesn't mean that you can't allow her to make decisions or make choices.
When it comes to picking the venue,
you can definitely include her in that decision process,
but just flat out asking her, "where do you want to go?" Or saying, Hey,
I'll take you to your favorite place. "What's your favorite place?
I'll take you." There just seems like a, you're trying to impress her.
Be like you have no plan. You have no clue of where to take a woman,
which implies you. Haven't been on a lot of dates and number three,
it's coming from a place of pleasing.. Of neediness.. And not only that,
but it puts her in her masculine, which there's nothing wrong with that, right?
If she's a CEO or something like that, she has to make a lot of decisions.
And she's in her masculine beingness when she's at work.
But when she's on a date, she wants to be feminine.
She just wants to be a long for your plan.
She wants you to be a man and take charge. You be the leader.
Now it's fine to ask her, do you prefer this?
Or do you prefer that maybe you love to take your dates to sushi and you want to
find out if she has a fish allergy or not. So find out relative information,
but you be the one to decide where to go on the date.
I had a client recently and he was so frustrated because he would meet women,
he would text them. And then when he'd go for the date, they wouldn't text back,
which is so frustrating because it seems like everything's on.
And then all of a sudden --cold Turkey.
And when I looked at his phone and I saw he's texting women "Hey,
where do you want it go?" Or "What do you want to do?" And they would
immediately stop responding or just take a long time to reply back.
And when I told him to stop doing that,
and he started telling the women where and when to meet for the date,
just about everyone replied to that. And most of them showed up for the date.
So his stats from texting to going on a date, went up drastically.
Numero 4..
"So can I have your number?" "No." Asking her if you can have her
number implies and presupposes that you don't know if she's
attracted to you or not, which is why you're asking the question,
which is basically the definition of a lack of confidence. And it's,
you don't believe in yourself.
You don't believe that this beautiful woman would be attracted to a guy like
you. So you have to ask her if you can have her number. It sounds nice.
Like again, the logical thing to do,
but it usually comes off as a lack of confidence. Instead,
just remove the word "can" instead of saying,
"can I have your number" say either "let's exchange numbers" or say "you seem
cool. What's your number?" When you say "what's your number" or "let's exchange
numbers" it presupposes that you believe that she likes you,
that you believe she's going to give you her number. She can still say no,
just like if you asked her a question,
but it just makes you seem a lot more sure of yourself. And on that note,
make sure to say it with certainty.
If you say let's let's exchange numbers, it's just as bad as saying,
can I have your number?
Your tonality is going up and you see same uncertain.
And she's probably gonna say no. If you seem really uncertain,
even if she gives you her number, when you say it like that,
she's probably not going to text you back. So make sure number one, not to say,
can I have your number? And number two, when you go for her number,
you gotta say it with certainty.
Like you believe she likes you and you believe she should.
And will give you her phone number. And as a side note, if she says, no,
she has a boyfriend, or she doesn't feel comfortable or she, you know it,
doesn't know you well enough to give out her number.
The main thing is to just remain calm. Don't say,
"why not?" Or start getting mad or upset. Just remain cool.
Like it's no big deal. And instead go for her social media, by the way, man,
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Let's get back to the video.
Number three is "You are so beautiful!!" Now
there's nothing wrong with giving a woman a compliment and telling her she's
beautiful. Gorgeous, stunning, cute, adorable, pretty.
But when you say it, you are so beautiful.
Like it literally looks like I'm putting her on pedestal.
So the key with this phrase is that you say it with confidence,
not like she's above you. For example,
"you are so beautiful." Instead of "wow!
You are soooh beautiful!!" Can you hear the difference?
When you give a woman a compliment,
especially if that's the way you're going to open the conversation,
which is a logical way to open a conversation.
If you see a woman walking down the street and you have to literally like catch
up to her to start a conversation,
you should be direct and tell her the truth. The real reason why you're there,
women appreciate it. They appreciate your honesty.
And they appreciate the courage that it takes to go do that.
Plus if you beat around the Bush and use some indirect,
weird pick up artist opener,
she knows that you're there because you're attracted to her.
So it actually makes you appear less confident,
but you have to say it the right way. And when you say it in a way,
like how we teach in our live workshops,
a way that builds tension through your eye contact creates intrigue and
anticipation through your pausing and your tonality.
Then there's no way in hell. It'll seem like you're putting her on a pedestal.
Instead. She can be attracted to you within seconds,
even aroused. Now I know that sounds crazy.
You walk up to a woman and tell her she's beautiful.
How is that going to actually make her turned on and aroused. Trust me, man.
It can. And it does happen. It's not every time of course, but oh man,
when it does happen, you can feel the electricity.
And it's just pure fire. Now in our live workshops, when we take guys in field,
they pretty much always on day one, too much of that,
"please like me" energy and women can feel that and they appreciate the
compliment, nevertheless,
but of course it's not a super solid interaction where the girls was melting in
front of them until we bring in models and practice the approach over and over
again and transform that neediness,
"Please like me kind of energy" to "I want you,
but I'm cool if I can't have you" kind of energy.
And then it's literally like night and day, when they start approaching,
after they do the model work,
you can see the reaction of the women that they approach completely change
instead of a nice, like, "Oh thank you for the compliment." It becomes.
"Wow. Thank you." And of course,
when you see those kinds of reactions over and over again,
it's going to increase your own confidence when it comes to approaching number
two, "Can I buy you a drink?" No, no, no. Hear me out.
There's nothing wrong with buying a woman, a drink at a bar,
even if you just met her,
but saying that as the first thing that you say to her as
your conversation starter is not a good idea because it creates the
frame that you're paying for her time or paying for her
attention, which puts your value down here and hers up here,
which is not the dynamic you want. If you want to talk to her,
just go talk to her.
Don't send her a drink from across the bar or go over and say, "Hey,
can I buy you a drink?" You don't know anything about her?
Why the heck would you even want to buy her a drink?
It's kind of like saying here here's some money.
Can I buy five minutes of your time? Hey, can I buy you a drink? Sure.
No, no, no, never do that. Now. Maybe you've done it in the past and you say,
Hey, it works. She talked to me afterwards, but trust me, man.
She didn't like you.
A woman in her twenties is probably not going to say no to a free drink.
So then should you even buy a woman to drink at all? Well, yeah, definitely.
If you want to, if you're not using it as a bargaining chip,
if you want to get a drink yourself and it's just the customary thing to
do, it's the social norm to say, "Hey,
I'm going to get a drink at the bar.
You want one?" There's nothing wrong with that.
It's even a good way to just move things further by just moving her from one
place where you met her to the bar.
Cause if she moves away from her friends and comes with you to the bar,
then it's just you and her.
You can have a more intimate conversation and make a deeper connection with her.
Now something happened to a client of mine. Recently,
he was talking to this girl, it was going really well at the bar.
And some guy sends her a drink from across the bar, never do that,
but he didn't know what to do because it kind of like interrupted the flow of
the conversation. She kept getting distracted by that guy.
I'm sure she wasn't attracted to that guy,
but he just didn't know what to do in that situation. So I told him, Hey,
next time that happens. If that ever happens again,
go along with it and encourage her to go talk to him, say,
Hey guy bought you a drink. I mean,
he was too afraid to come over and talk to you.
So you need to be the man and you need to go over and talk to him.
You should approach him.
And it's kind of like a silly role play where you set her up with the random guy
across the bar that sent her the drink. Mostly likely. She's going to say "No,
no, no. I don't want to talk to him.
I'd much rather talk to you cause you're a stud." And finally the number one
thing that you should never say to a woman,
because it makes you seem really needy and just really weak is
"Can I kiss you?" Again, just like asking for her phone number,
it's presupposing that you don't believe she would be attracted to you,
which shows you that you're just not confident in yourself that you don't
believe women should like, you know,
I understand why you might do this because you're,
you're trying to save face. You don't want to go for a kiss and then she's like,
no, no, no, no, no. Or it turns her head or just says she's not ready yet.
And then it creates all that like awkward tension because maybe you just don't
know if it's the right time to go for it or not. So I get that. Sure.
I've gone for the kiss many times and it was the wrong situation,
but who cares?
It's better to go for the kiss out of the blue and her say, no, no, no,
I'm not ready yet.
Or her turn her head or just back up and know that you're a man knowing that you
go for what you want. In this case, it's her.
Instead of her seeing you as weak and the kind of guy who asks for
permission every time he wants to do something, "Can, can I kiss you? " "No" No,
no, that definitely doesn't mean force yourself upon her in any way. No,
always make sure she's comfortable. And if you want to go for the kiss,
you don't want to do it out of the blue.
You want to like say something just to kind of like prime her and see if she's
ready. Then instead of asking for permission, you could just tell her,
what do you want to do? Say, "You know,
kind of want to kiss you right now." And just notice her reaction if it's
anything other than no, no, no, no. Then slowly move forward and go for it.
Or you could ask her if she's a good kisser.
"I bet you're not even a good kisser,
but I'm tempted to find out." And if she says, no, you could still say, well,
then you need to work on it and still go for the kiss.
Or you could ask her if she would like to kiss you,
which is a lot more powerful.
It presupposes that you think she likes you and you think she wants to
kiss you, which presupposes that you believe she wants to kiss you.
And if she says, yes, obviously kiss her. If she says, I don't know, say, well,
let's find out and slowly go in for a kiss. And if she says no,
then you could just say, well, it seemed like you wanted to,
or it seemed like you had something on your mind and then just change the
subject. And by the way, if you ever lean in for a kiss and she pulls away,
or you say one of those statements to kind of prime the kiss and she doesn't
seem ready yet, it's no big deal.
It doesn't mean necessarily that she doesn't like you.
It just means she's not ready yet. So just don't be all emotionally affected.
Don't complain about it. Don't get angry about it and just change the subject,
move on.
And then try again later that might be later in that date or that might be on
the next day. Just depends. All right, man, let's do a quick recap.
So instead of asking her where she wants to go on a date or what does she want
to do on the first date? You be the one who takes charge and tell her.
And instead of asking for her phone number, when you first meet her,
just say let's exchange numbers or you seem cool, what's your number.
And instead of saying.
You are so beautiful and putting her on a pedestal.
Just say it with confidence in a way that presupposes that you believe
she would like you back and never, never, never start a conversation by saying,
can I buy you a drink? That just doesn't work when you're on the day with her,
instead of saying, can I kiss you right now?
Either just go for the kiss or plant the seed by asking her if she's a good
kisser or telling her, Hey, I kind of want to kiss you right now.
We're just asking her, would you like to kiss me?
You seem like you have something on your mind. Trust me, man,
that works a lot better. And I want to help you out with other things.
What to say when you're on a date or when you first meet a woman,
whether it's walking down the street at a bar or club online in any situation,
what to say,
what to do to start the conversation and take things to the next level.
So I want to give you a copy of my free Conversation Cheat Sheet.
So make sure to download it, man.
I'll put a link down in the description and up on the screen in just a second.
So keep watching and make sure to download it.
And if you really want to take things to the next level,
and you're serious about getting this part of your life,
handled the make sure to check out our live training schedule.
I'll put a link down below and hop on a breakthrough call and see if you qualify
for one of our mentorship programs,
where we personally mentor you in becoming the best,
most attractive version of yourself.
So you can ultimately meet and attract your dream woman.
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