♫ Na na na na na na na na Buttman
♫ Yeah, kicking all the butts
♫ Buttman, punch you in the guts
♫ Buttman, slap you in the nuts
♫ Buttman, do the Buttman strut, Buttman, yeah
(chuckles)
- [Narrator] Hey, yo, it's A to the O back again
with another gaming video,
and Buttman is here, he's having a meeting,
a meeting with a bunch of people
who all hope to be his potential sidekick.
(laughs)
Everyone knows the city has too much crime as it is.
And Buttman needs help, he needs a sidekick,
so I now call this Buttman sidekick meeting to order.
Hello, sir.
I'm gonna call you Muffins McGillicutee.
Now, potential sidekicks,
I am gonna put you through a series of tests,
each one harder than the last,
and then after we're done,
we're gonna pick a new sidekick for Buttman.
(laughs)
Hey, I'm not lyin'.
(laughs)
Hello, Pumpkin Butt, hello Chimichanga Charlie,
hello Dr. Buttfarts III.
Welcome to your initiation and to Buttman's butt.
Dang it, Businessman Billy Banana Nuggets,
what have I told you about standing on the display.
That's for display, it's not for standing.
Businessman Billy Banana Nuggets, get off the table.
Uh oh, yeah, see, that's what you get.
This has been your first lesson, listen to Buttman.
Okay, here's the first event,
so what if you're having a meeting in a room,
and someone drops 8,000 grenades in the room,
what do you do, what do you do?
You have to make a split second decision.
God, y'all just stood there, you're all getting an F.
Okay, Princess Pancake Pants, let's test out the butt.
Here we go, aw, you're storing
all your ketchup packets in your underwear.
See, I'm gonna need a sidekick
that's more inventive than that.
Woah, check out Officer Salami Socks.
Now that's, see this is how you should be guys.
Officer Salami Socks is the only one fighting back.
What are you doing, aw, look at
all those ketchup packets.
See, that's what I'm telling you.
You shouldn't store your ketchup packets in your clothes,
because then when you get shot,
the ketchup packets explode everywhere,
now look what I did, you have
to do so much laundry now.
I like your superpower,
snowballs to the groin have no effect.
I'm gonna call you Beefy McColdGroin.
(laughs)
That's a perfect sidekick name, right?
I'd like to see you do better.
Okay, seriously now it's time to start the first test.
What do you do when the room is
suddenly filled with giant soccer balls?
This is definitely something I have
to deal with on a daily basis as a superhero.
(laughs)
You're doing well.
Come on, Chimichanga Charlie.
What are you guys, you don't even know
how many times I've been hanging out in a room
and all of a sudden it's filled with giant soccer balls,
it happens all the time.
Stop complaining.
Okay, I think all of you failed,
all of you failed that one.
Okay, I meant to do that.
Just, as a note, any time I face plant
into the ground, I totally mean to do it.
(laughs)
Alright, onto the next test, potential sidekicks.
Now there may be many situations
where you're gonna be stuffed in a truck
with many of minions, we gotta see how you react.
Who's exploding, is someone exploding?
What are you doing back there?
(chuckles)
Oh that, oh that wasn't good.
Although, you know, congratulations
to all of the potential sidekicks
that did survive that little interaction.
Oh, he's staying in, woah.
Alright, uh oh, we lost another one.
Uh oh, we have a minion mosh pit going on in here.
(laughs)
Shake 'n' Bake!
Hey, who called the cops?
Come on, cops, officer, I'm sorry
I'm driving on the sidewalk and
running people over, but it's for
official Buttman business.
I got clearance from the mayor.
I have a document from the mayor
saying that I can do this.
Oh yeah, you're doing good.
You're doing real good, potential sidekicks.
Aye, I'm surprised at how long you're lasting.
Palm tree peanuckle.
(laughs)
They're still in there.
I am very proud of you, potential sidekicks.
Let's go airborne.
(laughs)
Oh, that one got him, that one gets them every time.
That's right, ooh,
ooh, Buttman, that was a tough landing.
Hey, don't shoot me, I told you
this is official Buttman business.
Oh, there he is.
Hey, buddy, you were the last one to survive,
you were the last one in the truck, come back.
I wanna give you a congratulatory butt shake.
Come back, oh, whoops, oh.
See, it happens all the time.
You can just be walking down the street,
and all of a sudden, surprise,
giant soccer balls.
This is why you gotta be ready at all times.
Come back, Scuba Sausage Butt, whatever.
Hey, lady, how's it, ah, whoops.
(laughs)
Scuba Sausage Pants, you get back here.
This competition's not over.
It's not over 'til it's over.
It's only over when there's 10,000
bouncing giant soccer balls underneath the pier.
Okay, now it's over.
(laughs)
You're disqualified.
Alright, my next batch of potential sidekicks.
That's right, Big Foot Monkey Man,
okay when I say the word, all of you
hop on your own fourwheeler over there,
and then the next part of the test
will start right after that.
Alright, here we go, okay, hop on.
No, no, no, no, don't all fight over the same one.
Guys, there's like 20 four wheelers over here,
stop fighting over the same one.
Why can't I find a good sidekick
when I need one?
Big Foot four wheeler back massages.
(laughs)
Where am I supposed to find a good sidekick
if nobody will listen to me?
Okay, now stop fighting over the same one, here.
Everybody come over here.
Alright, that's it, time for
the second part of the lesson,
giant soccer ball surprise.
It happens all the time.
I tried to warn you guys.
See, here you go, running away
from your feelings again.
How are you ever gonna be a Buttman sidekick
if you're running away from your feelings?
Remember, potential Buttman sidekicks,
this is only a test,
and the stakes are very real.
(laughs)
You all fail, you all fail.
(laughs)
Uh oh, am I evil?
Uh oh, did Buttman become evil again?
Aw man, this always happens to Buttman.
He lets the power go to his head.
Okay, potential sidekicks, let's try this again.
Yeah, that's right, you each get on your own,
and then you follow me.
Okay, I've set up an obstacle,
you're already falling of your bike.
What are you doing?
Guys, when I said follow me, I meant all of you.
Alright, now we're gonna go to Taco Bell
for the all-you-can-eat Butt Fire competition.
Hey, I said follow me, don't ride my butt.
You're following me too close.
Excuse me, potential sidekick,
what are you doing?
Yeah, that's right, get off my butt.
Okay, now we have to go get the rest of,
no, hey, you're following me way too close,
what are you doing, get off me.
Don't you know the rules of the road?
You're supposed to stay two butt lengths
behind people when you're driving behind them.
Seriously, if you guys can't figure that out,
you're never going to become sidekicks.
Alright, now this is better, okay.
Like I said, we're going to Taco Bell,
stop running into each other,
we're going to Taco Bell, we're gonna,
hey, what are you doing?
We're on the same team, same team for,
okay you're all fired, you're all fired, you're all fired.
Look at these guys, they don't expect
the Buttman Big Foot Parade Extravaganza.
Hello, sir.
You're still following too close,
but at least you two followed me.
Oh, look at this guy.
If you're gonna show up late,
you shouldn't have showed up at all.
Surprise soccer ball.
Hey, you're never gonna learn if I don't show you.
Uh, oh, all these potential sidekicks
accidentally ate too much Taco Bell.
(laughs)
I'll help you.
I find it ironic that you're all
carrying fire extinguishers, but you've got
fire coming out of your butt,
and you're not doing anything about it.
Oh no, Taco Bell strikes again.
Sit still, what no, I'm trying to help them.
Potential sidekicks, what are you doing?
I don't think potential sidekicks
understand what it means to be a sidekick.
No, no, sir, do not go out into the real world.
No, no, no, you guys, you guys,
the world is not ready, the world isn't ready
for flaming butt fart sidekick.
Come back.
Oh, this is not gonna end well.
I don't even know how this happened,
how did this even happen?
You guys are failing so miserably.
Worst sidekicks ever, oh well,
you drove right into it.
What exactly did you think was gonna happen
when you drive into the sidekick butt fire?
Oh, man, not even Buttman can stop this.
(laughs)
That's it, I'm leaving, oh.
Well, the sidekicks have failed
pretty much every single test
I've thrown at them so far,
let's see if they fail the minion gun test,
yep, you're failing already.
So this is what you do, this is what you do
if there's a crime that's happening
and then someone shows up and
they shoot 10,000 minions at you,
this is what you do.
Okay, maybe I've been going about it all wrong.
How about this for a sidekick, Gumball 9000?
See, human sidekicks, they can screw up
because they're human, of course.
But since I've got Gumball 9000 machine,
nothing can go wrong, right,
because I can tell him what to do,
I can program him, right?
I like this idea.
Alright, Gumball 9000, this is your first test.
We're gonna shoot gumballs at everybody.
It's gonna be a sticky situation.
Alright, come on Gumball.
Gumball 9000, help me, shoot the bad guys.
Ooh, he's doing it.
Yeah, get them, get them Gumball 9000.
I like you already.
Okay, Gumball 9000, let's pretend
that the police are bad guys.
Don't worry, police officer, this is just
a test for Gumball 9000.
I'm not gonna hurt you,
I'm just shooting you with gumballs.
Okay, Gumball 9000, get them.
What are you doing, you're shooting me.
Oh no, oh no, Gumball 9000 has turned against me.
No, not you too, Gumball 9000.
I can't believe it's all come to an end.
Gumballs everywhere.
They were so delicious and now,
the five-second rule, they've been
on the ground for five seconds, now I can't pick them up.
Gumball 9000, I can't believe you turned against me,
this is what you get.
Uh oh, he's still alive, uh oh, uh oh.
No, Gumball 9000, please.
Wow, well it's definitely been interesting.
I've tested a bunch of different sidekicks,
and now it's your guys's turn to let me know
who should I pick?
You've gotta give me a character
and a name, and I'm gonna pick the best one,
that's gonna be the new sidekick for Buttman, okay?
Alright, you guys make it good, alright,
it's all up to you, alright, here we go.
Okay, thank you guys so much for watching Buttman,
make sure you do everything you can
to make this the most popular video on the Internet,
because it totally deserves it,
because it's so good.
Until next time, later, hot potaters.
Come on, sit still, plane.
You're fine, Buttman, just rub some clouds on it.
♫ Na na na na na na na na Buttman
♫ Kicking all the butts