Okay, check it out. We're talking about what you do wrong in your body language.
Because you got things you have got to stop doing today. Watch closely and I'll
show you the 4 things to stop doing now.
So, my intention is to help you improve your life through better communication.
Because you know how it is when things aren't going well between you and the
people you care about. Because of some misunderstanding.
You know, misunderstandings caused mishaps.
Well, there's misunderstandings, there's mishaps and then there's just misses. You
know, like things you miss. You miss being on time, you miss opportunities. So,
miscommunication creates mishaps which create literal misses. Things you're just
going to miss out on. So, let's get you out of that world and that let's have you
you know, literally get out of that tribe of thinking and help upgrade your
listening skills so that you can do better. So, I like to teach people how to
improve some simple parts about their life when it comes to body language.
Because body language is a really important part about communication. In
fact, in fact, there is a... I would have to say 7 out of 10 people. 7 out of 10
people have no clue about body language. This is like zero attention. They're so
focused in on listening with their ears that they're not even noticing what's
going on with their movements. When a person moves their hands while they're
talking, they're telling a story. It's kind of like a type of sign language. You
know when people don't speak with their lips and they use their hands to
tell a story, that's called sign language. But if you can talk and you are moving
your hands, it's a type of sign language. You're telling a story. Now, most people
are pretty radical or random with their movements but it does tell a story. So, to
help improve your communication skills, I've got a couple of things I want to go
over here with you about your body language that is bad and body language
that is good. You know to help you like stop doing this, start doing this. Be able
to help you. Because as long as your my language is a little you know random
and radical and reckless, you could be sending messages to people that
contradict what you actually are saying. It really could. You could be saying, "You
know kids, I just love you." And you're smacking your hand. Your kids are going to
think that means a spanking or they're going to think they're in trouble.
But you did this move to try to create some intensity about all the love you
have for them. Because what if you did... What if you did this: "Hey, kids. I love you."
And you put your hand on your heart. I saw a mom tell her kids that she loves
them. And the way in which she went about it is she smacked her hand. And I watched
the kids actually react almost in fear like, "Does that mean
mom's going to smack me?" Because she said? That you see we need to pay attention to
what we're doing as our body language because it is a visual language that is
going on between us and other people all the time. And if we say one thing out of
our mouth but move in a different way, we are in a level of conflict and
miscommunication and now we just confuse people.
So, let's go. Let's get you out of the confusion. Let's get you out of confusion.
And talk about what really is bad. Okay, first. Using your hands people have a
reckless way of doing this move. You know, "It's great to see you guys, love that
you're here to dinner with this. Haven't seen you guys in a long time. This is
awesome." And one of the things they do is they do
this push. And they use their hands and they'll just randomly say things like, "Oh,
my gosh. It's so good to see you." And they put their hands up as though they're
like stopping the person or that they're pushing the person. And they'll even do
this move. "God, is so good to see you. I mean this is just great." And literally
the hand movement says, "I have you in my hand and I'm just going to toss you away." Or
they do this throw-away or move-away movement.
So, stop doing this. You pay attention to where you use hand gestures and push.
Because as I've worked with people over the last 15 year,s over the last 15 years
of helping people recondition and recalibrate their body language, I have
found that people are unconscious of them doing this. They don't even see it.
So, start watching. I bet you do this at the wrong time.
Next is the poke. "You know kids, you guys need to do your homework." I mean look at
this thing, this is a poke. This is like a spear, a knife, a stick. It's this long
thing that's going like this towards people. And if somebody had to stick in
their hand and they just kept pointing it at you like this, or a knife or
something. After a while, you'd be like, "Oh, my gosh. Stop it." So this particular thing
of doing this gesture towards people, you literally are reaching into their life
and literally poking them. Energetically poking them. Now, some people do this on
purpose too like literally irritate people. I don't think it's very nice and
I don't think it's a way to build relationship with people. But you see
people do this where they point. And if you point at something that's one
thing. But when you poke at people even if the person is 5 feet away or maybe
you're standing up doing a presentation and the audience is you know 10 feet
away. But to keep doing this is bad. Stop. You got to just stop. It does not cause
people to like you and it does not cause people to want to work with you or
listen to you. Chop. This is another unconscious move. Where people will be
speaking and they'll like sit there and do these moves. Like, "You know what? Today
with our team, let's really work together."
That's... "Really. Work. Together?" That's like, you got carrots on a cutting board, whack!
And the carrot cut in half. That doesn't mean together. Chopping does not mean
together. "You know, as a family, we are going to keep this house clean. Because
the more we keep it clean and the more we do our parts..." I mean you're literally
showing the people I'm going to hack you up into pieces.
That doesn't mean together. Stop, doesn't work. So, stop that one. Don't do the chop
thing. But you're going to watch because you're doing it. These are the ones that
everybody do and they don't know any pay attention. Then there's this one. You know,
I just really enjoy working with people. Well, look at this. It's like you're
wrapping your hands around their neck. Yeah!
I've seen parents say to their children. "Hey kids, today we're going to spend some
time together and we are going to..." And look what they're doing. I mean, it's like,
the kids are sitting there looking at mom or dad or the team members looking
at their team leader and the team leaders doing this move. And it looks
like they just, the team leader or the mom or dad or like reaching over going,
"If you're close enough, I'm just going to choke you. So bad! I'm giggling because
it's like we don't pay attention to this. But today, you're going to start paying
attention to this and you are going to stop doing these. So these are the 4
you just you just got to stop. Got to stop. Okay, this is what you do to be able to
adjust what you're doing so you can do some good, right? You want to be good at
this communicating and not being all weird. Open. You know, instead of doing
this and this and this and and this. You're open. You know, it cracks me up, one
day, when a leader says you know, "You guys, can come and talk to me whenever you
want." Then they fold their arms. That's like, I just slammed the door in your
face. But to be able to be open as much as possible. That means not connecting
your hands together in front of you. Not holding on to your hands in front of you.
Not folding your arms. This means as much as possible being open.
Now, when you're open, you're going to feel vulnerable. But guess what? When you're
vulnerable, people actually want to connect to you. They want to communicate
with you. They have questions, they want clarification. And the reason why you
don't do this is because you think something bad's going to happen to you. Well,
when you're doing this and this and this and this and this, that's when bad stuff
happens because that's miscommunication. Be open, open up your gestures so that
people can talk to you. I also reference your heart. More often,
reference your heart like, "Hey, it's great to see you. Oh, my gosh. Thanks for being
here in the meeting today. Kids, oh my gosh. Welcome to breakfast. You're going to
love your breakfast." Literally just reach up and tap your heart. Now, that could be
a new one for you. Totally could be a new one. Because you're not used to touching
your heart. That people who see people who touch their heart, it's like, "Oh, this
is a good human being. They touch their heart." Good to practice. Next one, move
your hands in much more gentle way. Not fast poking and you know and... Ah! Like
you're not a karate person. You know, you're not trying to beat people up. Move
your hands in a much more gentle way. And when you reach out to somebody, slow it
down just a little bit. Just a little bit. But be more gentle. It works.
And the last one, it's okay to literally reach out and do a movement as though
you were gathering. Like, "Hey, I'm really glad you guys are all here today for
this class. And it's super cool to have you all here." But you're literally like
you're reaching out and drawing them to you or drawing them near you. Instead of...
You know, holding out, poking, chopping. You know, choking. All that stuff doesn't
work. It causes extra problems. You got it. You know what to do. Make it better. But
first, stop doing this. It makes you look so bad. As a parent, you're probably doing
this. As a husband and wife you're probably doing this. Boyfriend, girlfriend, you're
probably doing this. And you're wondering why there's this
distance between you and other people. Our body language tells people how far
away we should be from you. Your body language tells us if we should run from
you or or if we should be next to you. You need to practice your body
language. You are not qualified and certified to run that body. You really...
Yeah, you went to school to learn how to talk and how to write but you need some
training on this and and start here. Let go of these 4 and watch at how many
people in the world do this. It's an... It's a bad. Bad situation. So help them. Gently
suggest to people you love to stop doing these too. So, here at 3 key elements,
we're all about connection and really building up great relationships. And
that's why I'll cover this with you today. But hey, don't go too far. You
know, click the subscribe button. You know, it'd be awesome if you will spend you
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you