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with you and you wanna book in with me or my coaches, there is a free call
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Things guys do when they're really in love, what do they do?
Number one, men own up to their mistakes. They own their mistakes.
They put their ego aside and doing this ladies, this is a hard thing for us as men.
We don't like showing up for you in a way that you're gonna perceive us as less than
we certainly don't like going towards shame or putting our egos aside.
We're certainly not into just being failures for you, frankly, or admitting
failure. So if the guy's willing to do that, and he's willing to really share that side
of himself to you, that, to me says a lot more than he's taking you on a fancy date,
or he is bringing you around the parents and especially if he backs it up with actions.
When a guy owns his mistakes, it shows that he's secure enough to go there,
to be uncomfortable, and that security's gonna play out in your future relationship.
Because if he's secure enough to admit mistakes and follow up with them with
actions to make it right, et cetera, then he's gonna be secure enough to have
those difficult conversations with you. He's gonna be secure enough to admit
fault, to ask for help, et cetera. So what it really is is a sign of security.
If he is secure enough to let you see his mistakes and to own them, he's letting
you that close to him, then it shows how secure he is with you. And that is a true
sign that he's bonding to you and sees a future with you.
Number two, number two, I love this one. He encourages you to speak your needs.
Weak men or scared men, or frankly, men who are just really worried about
being controlled or not that into you, won't want you to be more difficult or
more "trouble," so they won't do this. And also men who don't really care
about you that much won't do this. If a guy is encouraging you to speak
your needs, it says he wants to see more of you. It says he's even willing to be
uncomfortable, be under a little bit of pressure to see more of you.
So it's showing that he just really wants to build that intimacy with you.
It's also really good for you because it forces you to get clear on those needs,
so it's a real benefit for you. And then either he says, yes, and you get those
needs met. Or sometimes he says no, and you have to be a big girl and hear
a no, and that won't harm the relationship. You're not gonna dump him as soon
as you hear that no. Overall, it's just really good for the relationship as well.
If he's encouraging you to speak up on your needs, if it's a yes, you guys build
a better relationship, you build more intimacy. If it's a no, you build a sturdier
relationship. One where, as I say again, you're not gonna dump each other as
soon as someone can't do everything the other person wants to do.
You build that realness into the relationship. So he's encouraging
you to bring more of yourself to the table. He wants you to speak up on
this stuff. He's not worry about you controlling him. Those are all really
good signs that he's comfortable being closer to you and very much falling
in love with you.
Number three, and this is a little bit like the other two.
Number three is he confronts difficult truths and difficult conversations with you.
Have you noticed anything about these first three? They all involve him feeling
crappy. If we had to sum up the first three points, it would be how and signs a guy
loves you. He's okay to feel like shit. He's willing to feel like shit to be with you.
Cause who wants to have difficult conversations? They suck.
No one wants to have those. Let's have fun. Let's go to dinner. Let's not make
this difficult, but even though that's only 20% of the relationship, it's the 20% that
builds the foundation for the fun enjoyable 80%. So if a guy is owning his mistakes,
having you speak up on your wants and needs, confronting difficult conversations,
do you see how all of these are equivalent to him feeling shitty?
And that is the demonstration of love underneath. It's like, he's okay to sit
through the discomfort of building this. And it's the same for you.
Are you okay to sit through the real discomfort and shittiness of building
something? Or you just want to be a fair-weather girlfriend?
Now don't use that as an excuse to sacrifice your deal breaker boundaries.
Don't. I know some of you listening to this, do that, but it's like if you're willing
to be uncomfortable to a point where it doesn't cross any deal breakers or
boundaries, that is a true sign of love. So those three are the first three big ones.
Number four, a little different, but definitely a sign a guy loves you.
He protects the relationship. He protects it from third parties.
He protects it from third people. He might even protect it from third things like drugs
or alcohol, or it could be anything, dogs, even, but if he's protecting the relationship,
if he is saying, look, we need to protect this bubble.
Then it is showing that he values that bubble. And guys only do this guys
only protect a bubble when they are really invested in the bubble and they
want to keep the bubble and continue with the bubble. The bubble matters.
Thanks [inaudible]. Bottom line, if he's protecting the relationship, if he's
showing up to be its defender, and no this doesn't mean he's gonna read
your mind in the way that he does it. You might say, "oh, he's not doing that
thing. He didn't come over and save me from that guy at a gathering or something.
Or he didn't take me out on a date on Sunday when he should have known
that he should have," you might need to guide him on the way he protects the
relationship. But if he's stepping up to that, however, he does it either with your
guidance or without, then that shows he values the relationship a lot, values you
a lot and is very likely forming a deep loving bond with you.
And number five, number five, this is a big one too. He encourages your freedom
and growth. I am not poly myself. I'm not polyamorous, but one thing
I do think that is really cool about the poly relationship community is they're
really good at this one. They're really good at encouraging the freedom
growth of their partner. And I think this is one of the, one of the things that
those of us, most of us who are watching, who do monogamy, it's easy to slip into
that comfort zone where you don't want your partner to grow because it becomes
threatening to you. I'm not talking about other partners, but just in general,
our partner's growth can be threatening.
You're not gonna use those insecurities as an excuse to inhibit your partner or him, you,
when that growth is important to you, both as a couple and as individuals.
What are the signs you've seen that you've felt true love from a guy.
And have you experienced the ones I talked about today? I would love it if
you would share in the comments. If you're familiar with the ones today,
if you've felt them, or if you've experienced ones for yourself that are not in the video,
please share them and hit that subscribe button, big red button with the little bell.