It’s common knowledge that Halo revolutionized console shooters and carried the Xbox on its
armored Spartan shoulders. But what you may not know is that the game was supposed to
launch on Windows...
...and Mac.
- Steve Jobs: Halo is the name of this game, and we’re gonna see, for the first time, Halo.
- But then, Microsoft snatched it up and made it an exclusive title for their new console,
the Xbox. And the rest, as they say, is history.
But what if it wasn’t?
What if, instead of being the prized jewel of Microsoft’s gaming division, Halo had
been bought by a different Steve? In this strange new universe,
Waluigi is censored, tea bagging is illegal, and everyone loves the fishman
that lives in their phone.
-Seaman: I warned you!
It’s not that hard to imagine this iVerse. All you have to do is…
...think different.
(dramatic, propulsive music)
In the early 90s of our universe, Halo was just a twinkle in Bungie’s eye. Back then,
Bungie was known as the premiere Mac game developer, and their firstiperson shooter
Marathon cemented that reputation... even though it eventually came out on Windows.
That was the choice all Mac game developers faced eventually: go multiplatform or die.
In 1997, Bungie followed up their Marathon series with the revolutionary 3D real-time
strategy game Myth: The Fallen Lords, and a year later,
Myth II: Soulblighter. Unfortunately, the Windows version of Myth 2
shipped with a devastating bug: if the user happened to install the game in
the root directory, then uninstalling it deleted random files on the hard drive.
This bug could have wiped out dozens of kilobytes of data!
Bungie could have just kept quiet and fixed it with a day-one patch, but their co-founder
Jason Jones decided to listen to his better angels instead.
Bungie recalled the game, like physically recalled boxes from the store and replaced
the disks by hand. It cost nearly a million dollars.
But they shook it off. Bungie had a brand new IP to focus on: a futuristic RTS codenamed…
“Monkey Balls”.
Yeah, that was Halo’s original codename, and yeah, it was originally a real-time strategy game.
But it didn’t last long as an RTS. It eventually became a 3rd person shooter, almost entirely
because of how fun it was to drive the Warthog.
When it was finally time to reveal Halo to the public, Bungie’s Vice President Peter
Tamte called in a favor from his old boss, Steve Jobs, who announced the game at Macworld 1999.
-Steve Jobs: We are starting to see some great games come back to the Mac, but this is one of the
coolest ones I’ve ever seen! Halo is the name of this game, and we’re going to see,
for the first time, Halo.
- Macworld built a lot of hype for Halo, but Bungie’s financial future was still uncertain
thanks to the Myth 2 recall. Just 12 days after Halo’s reveal, they announced a publishing
partnership with Take Two. For the first time, their games would be released on major consoles.
All it cost Bungie was one-fifth of their company. That’d be like Voltron giving up
the Blue Lion for a prime slot in Fox Kids Saturday mornings:
Worth it.
Meanwhile, Microsoft was assembling a portfolio of launch games for their new console, the
Xbox. The head of Microsoft Game Studios Ed Fries arranged a meeting with Take Two, who
brought along their star studios, Rockstar and Bungie.
Microsoft also liked driving the Warthog, along with everything else. They offered to
buy Bungie and make Halo an Xbox exclusive launch title. It was a great deal – highlighting
their new IP and giving them more control than the Take Two partnership.
Bungie agreed and in June of 2000, the announcement was made public: Halo would be released exclusively
for the Xbox and it would be a first-person shooter.
Mac gamers were distraught, but none more so than Steve Jobs. Immediately after hearing
about the acquisition, he called up Microsoft’s new CEO Steve Ballmer, and "raged" about the
loss of one of the best Mac game studios.
But Ballmer knew they had made the right choice. Bungie got to work on porting Halo to the
Xbox. Microsoft remained pretty hands off, but they demanded one concession: a slight
adjustment to the name Halo.
On November 15th, 2001, Halo: Combat Evolved was released on Xbox to pretty much universal acclaim.
It brought the first-person shooter genre to consoles, and gave Microsoft what they
so desperately needed: a coveted day-one title.
That is the true story of Halo’s origins. But what if, after discovering that devastating
Windows bug in Myth 2, Bungie had ignored their better angels and decided to listen
to the devil on their shoulder instead?
"Perhaps," someone at Bungie speculates, "this bug is the fault of Windows and not
us." They release a day-one patch… and their mood toward Microsoft begins
to sour.
In the iVerse, Bungie doesn’t have the burden of that physical recall. So they’re able
to make more progress on Halo. The version presented at Macworld '99 isn’t just a presentation
without sound because they couldn’t get sound to work. It was a multiplayer demo.
It doesn’t just build hype at Macworld, it actually takes over the Apple campus. Employees
are hooked on the game. Even notorious not-gamer Steve Jobs joins in the fun.
Bungie doesn’t need a partner to stay afloat; they’re doing just fine on their own! So
when Microsoft reaches out about an exclusivity deal, Bungie shrugs them off. They’re not
interested in giving up their independence, especially not to Microsoft.
And when word gets back to Steve Jobs that his rival, Steve Ballmer, is trying to buy out Bungie,
he makes them an offer they can’t refuse: total creative freedom and a guaranteed install base.
They will add Halo to the iLife suite of apps. Every new Apple computer will have
a copy of Halo pre-installed.
Plus it’s a chance to return to their Mac-exclusive roots. Bungie accepts the deal.
At Macworld 2000 in the iVerse, Steve Jobs announces that they’ve acquired Bungie.
Halo will be installed on every Mac – and exclusively on Mac.
Bungie retains creative control, but Apple does demand one concession: a slight adjustment
to the name Halo. On October 16, 2001, Halo: Fight Different
launches exclusively on Mac OSX to nearly universal acclaim.
And Steve “notorious temper” Ballmer?
Well, he's kinda pissed!
- Steve Ballmer: F***ing Steve Jobs is a f***ing p***y. I’m going to f***ing bury that guy, I have
done it before, and I will do it again. I’m going to f***ing kill Apple.
- Now Microsoft has to find a new killer launch title. Thankfully Take Two has a great game
for a console launch: Grand Theft Auto 3. They acquire Rockstar and transition development
to the Xbox, resetting the sequel numbering in the process.
In November 2001, the Xbox launches with strong sales, due to its wildly popular exclusive,
Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City.
In the iVerse version of Apple, Halo is experiencing an unexpected boon thanks to Apple’s long
running partnerships with educational institutions. With the game packed in on every computer,
university labs turn into breeding grounds for intense LAN parties. Halo quickly becomes
a staple of the college campus experience.
Apple enjoys the fruits of this free publicity... until it becomes associated with the hot new trend of
(deep, distorted voice) TEABAGGING:
crouching repeatedly over the face of a fallen enemy in an act
of sexualized dominance.
After Steve Jobs is teabagged one too many times in the intra-company tournament, Apple
demands that Bungie remove the ability to crouch in Halo. Apple says it’s because they
“don’t want their pure brand to be associated with such crass behavior.” Bungie
is annoyed by the request, but since the game isn’t a cover shooter, it doesn’t actually
change much. They remove crouching in a patch.
While Apple is solving its teabag problem, the console market is dealing with its own
Ball…mer issue. Without GTA to help prop up sales, the Playstation 2 struggles to compete
with the Xbox. Microsoft’s console is doing so well under Steve Ballmer, that he decides
to be the face of the Xbox. He appears before the announcement of Grand Theft Auto 3: San
Andreas to hype up the crowd
...and show off his new tattoo!
- (announcer) Ladies and gentlemen, STEVE BALLMER! (Overly excited whooping)
- The Ballmer hype machine works, and GTA 3: San Andreas becomes the top-selling Xbox game
of all time. Rockstar Games shows their appreciation the only way they know how: by patching Ballmer
into the game as the wise-cracking street smart basketball player, Stephen Ballz.
It’s important to note here that back in our universe, San Andreas was an undeniable
success. But, for one reason or another, humanity has chosen to remember it through the lens
of “Hot Coffee”, the infamous mod that unlocked a secret minigame that allowed players
to have sexual intercourse with the girlfriend of their choosing.
Upon discovering this in 2005, the ESRB obviously changed the game’s rating to “Adults Only.”
This was a massive financial blow to Take-Two because 80% of stores simply won’t sell
AO games, in either universe. They also had to deal with numerous class action lawsuits
while being excoriated by politicians.
Over in the iVerse, however, it’s Microsoft who takes the Hot Coffee heat. After literally
tattooing himself with the game’s logo, politicians and talking heads are all too
happy to blame Ballmer for the debacle, equating him to a purveyor of pornography, peddling
crude, violent, and sexually explicit games on the “XXXbox”.
And Apple — who swiftly and aggressively responded to their teabagging controversy
by outright banning it — is viewed as wholesome by comparison. It’s an image Apple is all
too happy to exploit as they prepare for the release of Halo 2. During a quarterly earnings
call, Steve Jobs notes to investors that “Master Chief has no libido. What I mean is, Spartan
soldiers aren’t bred with a sex drive. That’s just canon.”
That revelation causes Apple’s reputation
to skyrocket among kid-conscious consumers and investors, building even more hype for
the fall 2005 release of Halo 2.
In our universe, Halo 2 suffered from a legendary crunch because of the rush to launch the game a year
before the Xbox 360 in 2005. Many attribute the game's cliffhanger ending to this truncated development.
- Master Chief: Sir, finishing th—
- But in the iVerse Bungie was given something most developers never get:
a fucking break.
This wasn’t entirely because of Apple’s generosity; the computer giant wanted Halo 2's
release to juice the launch of their new digital storefront for games. Which they call...
…iGames. I mean, what did you think it was going to be called?
And Halo 2 isn’t iGames' only launch title; ‘90s cult classics like The Colony, Glider,
Dark Castle, and Maelstrom are all given a fresh coat of paint… and by fresh coat of
paint I mean SKEUMORPHISM.
But the surprise hit is a sequel absolutely no one sees coming: Dawn of Seaman.
- Seaman: It's the weekend... grab a date and get out of the house.
Apple's proprietary hardware breathes new life into a series that was originally destined for
Mac, by giving the fish-human hybrid an uncanny ability to respond to the player’s voice.
Let’s step back into our universe for a second to understand how bizarre a gaming-focused
Apple really is. Apple flirted with gaming consoles way back in the mid-90s. The Pippin
was made in partnership with Bandai and it failed miserably. That was partly due to the
hardware and lackluster library of games, but Apple also couldn’t be bothered to market
the Pippin. It was a prime example of just how little they cared about games.
In our 2006, Steve Jobs hadn’t thought about a video game in years. He had his hands full
with Apple’s next major product: the iPhone. It was so NOT for gaming, that Steve Jobs
refused to release software development kits until a year AFTER its release. When his friend
John Carmack asked about getting copies to make some games, Jobs responded with a snide
“You’re a smart guy John, why don’t you write a new OS?”
But in the iVerse, Apple loves games! Jobs has seen a great return on his investment
in gaming, and also he needs to keep working on his K/D ratio. So he puts the iPhone on
the backburner, and focuses on gaming hardware instead.
At Macworld 2006, Steve Jobs announces the return of the Pippin... but to underscore
the console’s purity, they name it the Apple Angel.
The minimalist monolith (designed by iPod creator Johnny Ive, natch) is well-equipped
for online play and downloading apps from iGames. But it’s the charming “I’m an Angel...
...And I’m an Xbox” ad campaign that seals the deal for consumers. Do you want
a sleek, family-friendly gaming device that kids can also do their homework on? Or a bulky
black box of sin that’ll get them hooked on porn and coffee? For parents, the answer
is clear.
The Xbox 360 has a tough launch, but it’s not the only console that’s suffering from Apple’s success.
Sony’s high-priced box is much worse-off than Microsoft. After disappointing
sales and a dwindling catalogue of exclusives, the 2008 holiday season is the final killing
blow for the PlayStation 3. Shortly after, Sony sells off its studios and exits the console
market entirely.
By 2009 in the iVerse, Apple has destroyed one of its biggest competitors in the game
industry. So Steve Jobs sets his sights on a new target: the portable market. The iPhone
is put back on track, and this time, Apple vows to put game developers first.
One of the surprise early hits is the iPhone version of Seaman, with its shockingly intelligent
voice recognition. Even after Siri is added, most users actually prefer the charmingly
strange fish man as their personal assistant.
-Seaman: Heyyy!
- But the iPhone's killer app is Labyrinth. Based on the first game Bungie ever made,
it quickly becomes iconic thanks to its strikingly handsome Minotaur villain. At Apple’s insistence,
the minotaur is fully clothed, but that doesn’t stop a deluge of risqué fan art.
Despite the success of Labyrinth, Bungie begins to grow resentful of Apple's puritanical interference
in its games. Look, it's not BECAUSE Apple wouldn’t let the Minotaur wear a loin-cloth but it's
not NOT because of that. A year later, when Apple executives inform Bungie that Halo 4
must be rated “T for Teen”, the developer decides they’ve had enough. They make a
deal with Apple to exchange the Halo IP for their independence.
Years earlier, Jobs would have made a bigger effort to reassure Bungie of Apple’s commitment,
but by now the CEO is not in good health. Sadly, some things don’t change, and Steve
Jobs passes away on October 5, 2011 after a long fight with pancreatic cancer.
In one of his first decisions as newly minted CEO, Tim Cook looks to assert a bold new
vision for Apple... by banning Seaman from the iGames store. The move draws ire from
developers because it’s suddenly, unilaterally removed. Whose work could be next?
But it further cements Apple as “wholesome” and “safe for kids.” Because by now the
game has produced an outpouring of viral videos where people are talking about their iPhone’s...
“seamen.”
Some say the ban was a long time coming.
Back in our universe, Apple also kicked some controversial games out of the App store.
Phone Story, which parodied the costly, inhumane way Apple and other companies manufacture
smartphones, was removed from the app store in 2011, and it wouldn't be the last.
In the iVerse, this method of censorship is wielded like a weapon against Nintendo, Apple’s
last competitor in the family friendly market. Tim Cook reveals the Seraph;
a portable console and tablet combo that takes all the wind out of the WiiU’s sails...
...and sales.
But the real bombshell comes when Tim Cook announces “one more thing”: M-rated games
will no longer be sold in the iGames store. They use this announcement to launch an ad
campaign against Nintendo’s Wii U. Is it really family friendly if you can play Bayonetta
on it?
Nintendo can’t stand up to the multinational behemoth, and by 2014, the company and its
IPs are stripped for parts. Most longtime Nintendo fans are relieved when Mario and
friends come back to Apple’s platforms, but the conspicuous replacement of Waluigi is...
... puzzling.
The reason is made clear in 2015. A leak posted to NeoGaf reveals that Apple isn’t just
banning M-rated games on iGames. It has imposed a massive list of content restrictions
as well, including but not limited to: permissible “crimes” organized by species, the maximum
“wetness” of various liquids, and a strict ban on sexually suggestive characters, which
obviously includes Waluigi.
But Apple doesn’t care: They have so completely dominated the family friendly market that
news of the leaks only reinforces that reputation. But underdog Microsoft, watching from the
sidelines, argues that Apple’s excessive censorship is squeezing the life out of all games.
But Apple’s market share is undeniable. Developers have no choice but to continue
creating games for their platform. Including the now-independent Bungie. They may not be
owned by Apple anymore, but Big Mac is still calling the shots. In order to release Destiny
on the iGames store, they have to severely curtail the game’s “mature” story.
When the leaks hit the news, Bungie head Jason Jones decides he’s had enough. He instructs
his team to move forward with their original vision for Destiny 2, rude gestures and all.
And when Apple refuses to release it on iGames, Bungie launches their attack.
In October 2017, the former darling of Mac gaming announces they’re suing the behemoth
over antitrust violations. Bungie v. Apple sends shockwaves throughout the gaming industry.
But even more surprising is just how poorly the trial goes for Apple. Droves of developers
testify to the draconian tactics Apple used to pressure them into changing their games.
The 1984 parodies are right there for the taking. Having been so high on their own
supply for so long, Apple’s defense crumbles at the first sign of pushback.
After a closely followed court battle, the judge announces their ruling: iGames’s policies
represent numerous violations of antitrust law. Apple is forced to spin off its console,
mobile, and iGames divisions into separate companies. And Destiny 2 becomes the first
M-rated game to sell on iGames in half a decade.
At the 2019 WWDC, a humbled Tim Cook takes the stage to announce Halo Infinite. The sequel
reboots the franchise by focusing on its core strengths: a challenging cooperative campaign,
frenetic multiplayer matches, and a mesmerizing sci-fi world.
But before the press conference can end, Tim Cook pauses, and looks out at the crowd
of thousands to announce one more thing...
...that players will once again be allowed
to teabag their opponents.
And the future looks bright for video games once more.
(hopeful, synthetic music)
Hey, thanks for watching this video! If you really want to learn more about Halo
and its development on the Mac, you should really check out this video by Kurt Indovina
over on GameSpot. It's actually got some interviews with some of the people who made Halo,
and offers some... "facts" about what might have happened.