So Eric when we talk about prayer one of the major themes that keeps coming up is waiting
on the Lord. And this is terminology that I've discovered
means different things to different people. What does it mean to you when you talk about
waiting on the Lord in prayer? To me it is the sustained adoration that is
filled with subjection. So I'm waiting for a directive from the Lord
in His presence. I'm not waiting for His presence; I'm waiting
in His presence. To me you're not waiting until you, you're
in the presence; you're not waiting for the presence you're waiting in it.
So in adoration I'm stuck in a sustained adoration; it's almost like a, a musical that just sustains
until a change comes. And that's exactly how I feel about waiting:
it's subjectivity to God. I will not move without You.
I want you to show me what you wish. You to empower me.
Because the only thing that's empowered is the thing that was spoken.
We know that God created the world by speech, and every creativity in our souls will first
be a speaking. And so in the same way as I'm with him I wait
for the speaking and in the speaking is all the power that I need to not only see what
He wants me to see but also become what He wants me to become.
We become by beholding, and as we look at Him we become like Him.
And that beholding is inseverable from that speech.
So I -- I like -- I like how you put that because you said we're not waiting for His
presence. Right.
We're waiting in His presence. But what if you have -- you don't feel like
you're in His presence yet, or is that just something you accept by faith?
Right. Well, even to say except by faith we both
know faith is surrender, you know, it's -- it's literally trust.
You know, so when I yield myself up to him that cannot be done without faith.
And as I do there is no worship without faith. Faith is the root of worship.
And I believe that God is; that's why I come to Him.
You know, and so -- So you're saying it is by faith?
Well faith is the root of all coming to God, but the faith acts in worship.
So I believe God is, so I worship Him. And as I worship Him the presence manifests.
Now when you say -- you know, you wait in His presence how do you know when you're in
His presence? Is there some indication you should look for?
Yes, for I know exactly that I'm in His presence once I'm removed from self-consciousness.
And, uh, it feels a certain way. I feel free from myself, from the burden of
self, I'm delivered out from underneath the tyranny of self-rule, and it feels -- you
can feel it, you know, it just feels, uh, wonderful.
It's the reason why I was created. I feel satisfied, I feel fulfilled, I know
He is there, I'm blissed with peace, with the joy of His presence.
It's unlike any natural feeling I could ever feel by any natural thing.
And a marker for it for me is there's no place in this world I would rather be than right
here. How long does it take you to reach that, that
point? It depends.
Mostly it's there just instantaneously when I start, turn my attention to Him.
But if I had, had a rough day or, you know, things have just been real scattered and stuff
it may take me some time to collect myself. Every time I truly worship He truly comes.
But to truly worship it takes a collection of myself in order to truly worship.
I cannot worship scattered because it's not real, or adore: I can't adore him with a scattered
soul. It's just not possible.
What does that mean when you say scattered? All over the place, thinking of this, that,
the other, myself, worries, anxieties, fears, doubts.
So you have to focus. Yeah, concentration.
I've got to put everything upon Him. I look to you, yeah.