feeling worthy is directly related to the way we modeled love from our parents
so when we look at that we're able to see more how we think of ourselves and
whether we think were enough or not welcome back to another video my name is
Erin and I hope people expand their consciousness now in this video I'm
gonna be sharing with you the importance of understanding your view of worthiness
understanding some of the things that may have happened in the past and how
that models the way that you show up in the world the way that you give love and
the way that you receive love and this is really about understanding like I
said in the intro the parents love and it's so important to understand because
feeling 100% worthy love whole and complete has directly imply implications
and an impact on that of your money how much money you're able to attract into
your life how much money you feel worthy of that you deserve your love and
relationships the kind of partner that you attract into your life and your
health what you think you are deserving of and what kind of standards you set
yourself when it comes to your own worthiness
so feeling worthy whole and complete is all about understanding our model of the
world for love and how we relate to it now for myself I am somebody that had
that of a you may have heard my past before but between 7 and 15 years old I
had an abusive stepfather in my life 15 years old came around my dad divorced
or but during that seven year period my brother heightens that had zero
freedom we weren't allowed to go go out with friends we weren't allowed to
really have friends at all him and I were normally locked out of the house
doing chores we'd drink water out of a hose we were given that bowl of cereal
in the morning and at nighttime we were given a TV dinner so we were both very
malnourished we'd get in trouble for everything and my ex stepmom was
mentally physically and emotionally abusive so between that period of my
life I experienced a lot of pain I experienced a lot of always being in
trouble and thinking that there was something wrong with
me and what happened is even after 15 years old comes around my dad divorces
my ex stepmom all of a sudden my brother and I are allowed to watch TV we're
allowed to have friends were allowed to eat food that kind of you know enough
food and as much food as we want but it was a very fun freedom filled time of
our life however years after that I was like 20 21 years old and I still I felt
unworthy I felt like I wasn't enough and I realized that every girl there was
always a woman in my life that represented that level of control after
my ex stepmom the first girlfriend I had had very jealous tendencies and was very
much controlling me and wanted me to be a certain way I was too loud I was too
obnoxious I was too this I was to that but she was always trying to keep me in
this little box very similar to my extant mom and then after that I within
a week of breaking up with her I was working at Barney numerous firms and
woman shoes I got transferred to a better shoe department I was working in
BP shoes which is like the low-end shoes I got transferred to the salon shoes the
designer shoes so I'm making more money it's a commission based job however the
manager of that department was the same exact personality traits as my ex
stepmom now she couldn't get away with physical or anything but she was
mentally she would talk down to people she for sure should have been fired way
before when she was however the the sense of worthiness that I had
subconsciously that's what I expected from woman because of that situation
that I had it was unconsciously running different aspects of my life I felt like
I wasn't worthy of controlling my own vision my own destiny I felt like
somebody always had to tell me what to do I was always talked down to and it
directly impacted my money my love and my health in many ways and it was
because I had this subconscious programming that was in there that said
I'm not enough I'm not worthy now here is the key to this whole entire process
and the biggest change in my life was when I looked at my past and I realized
that my past led me to my spiritual wakening it led me to go in within to
question myself to question these beliefs that I had and that's exactly
what our feeling of worthiness comes from it comes from the stories we tell
herself about who we are and the story we tell ourselves about our past the
things that happen to us these stories are rooted in certain
emotions that we felt in the past and the emotions of not feeling worthy of
feeling controlled of of whatever emotion it might be that goes directly
into our sense of worthiness and how we show up in the world now the interesting
thing about this is it's completely on autopilot and we're never quite aware of
it I made a video yesterday and I kind of shared the experience I had talking
to Victor many of you know Victor Auto and he realized that the way he was
taught love growing up was he was taught love from his parents because his
parents were always very worried about him always very worried because he had a
firecracker accident when he was like 7 certainly 8 I forget 7 or 8 years old
and it completely burned part of his body is very traumatic it was definitely
trauma and his parents felt guilty for it
his parents felt like they probably could have done something so that guilt
probably went into Victor and him feeling guilty that it happened to him
and his parents felt guilty but his mom used to tell him I worry about you
because I love you then his model for the world is that
love equals worry love equals worry so even now he has these this ideology he's
like I want to be a great parent but subconsciously being a great parent to
him means I have to worry about my kids and he's had this reoccurring thing come
up in his life where any time he does something like plant medicine or he does
something where he goes deep into meditation he has this fear that
something may happen to one of his kids he said where does this fear coming from
and for a year the last whole entire year like what is this coming from what
does this mean why am I worried about this why there's this I don't want this
to happen and there's this this reluctance he to let go of control and I
was like you know for long I was like let go of control let go of
trying to understand it all you know but then we had a very powerful realization
and that realization was that his parents worried nonstop about him
growing up and they associated that with love that's how they showed him love
worried about him all the time and in the same way he was modeling that
towards his kids not even knowing it and that is it was his model for love and
now he's realizing he's unplugging a whole new world the whole thing of what
I'm sharing with you today is about becoming free of your rules and
definitions about love your rules and definitions about love becoming free of
it because he had rules and definitions about love that I love my kids but the
medium for doing that is through worrying about them and always making
sure they're okay and controlling different aspects of their life and how
people perceive of his kids and all of this stuff because he doesn't want them
to go through pain during compassionate of them but now he's becoming aware that
he could become free of those rules he could become and it's those rules are
also many times imparted into the identity it was hard I was like well who
would you be without that worry I don't even know I had to really think about it
who would I be without believing that control was worthiness or that as people
I had to be controlled to be worthy and that I wasn't worthy who would it be
and back in the day I've been like I don't even know you mean I don't have to
do things to be worthy I don't to be a people pleaser because I don't always
please my ex stepmom see this is the key to the process now every one of us we
have that up this is a table top right here our beliefs work like a table top
we have this underlying core belief so let me show you there might be this core
belief that says I'm not enough I am not enough this is a core belief that most
people have at some level now imagine that this is a big skinny table there we
go there we go big skinny table I am not enough now
what happened is some time in the past we had a certain reference experience
which is this right here reference experience memory something that
happened that developed one of these lakes and in the moment we gave it a
meaning that said I'm not enough there is this thing that happened maybe a
parent said something to you that made you feel unworthy could have it some
small could have been you wanted your dad to pass the mashed potatoes I do
that history I always use the analogy and you wanted to you wanted to ask mrs.
children up it's meant to be seen and not heard
and you said I don't matter so you have this thing since I don't matter and then
something else happened where you were with your first relationship that he had
with a partner relationship when you were younger with the boy or girl and
you may have them break up with you and then you said I'm not enough and if
something else I said I'm not enough and there's these couple experiences that
happened where we gave certain things meaning that said I'm not in that that
was underlined with I'm not enough with these little meanings and the thing is
is there stories around this one premise idea of I'm not enough they're all
stories they're stories we tell ourselves about who we are and these
stories remain on autopilot until we question them now the key to us feeling
love is not developing a belief that says I am loved I am NOT I am NOT that
is not the key and you could say it all you want you can see the affirmations
and that can be powerful but the key is just untangling the current the current
rules you have about love so imagine you have rules about love and imagine that
some of those rules many times they're their external rules by the way so for
example love to me so first off love for Victor was worried not knowing it and
one of those rules about love was maybe I got to always ask my kids questions to
make sure they're always okay I've got to always worry about where they are and
what they're doing these are rules and it's like okay well now and how would he
know that he was loved well maybe there's some rule that he has to
constantly get affirmation from his wife or something like that I'm not saying
that's true I'm just saying what if it was
now for me what if I had rules about love is like you know I will give myself
permission to feel loved once when I'm making these videos and
every comment I see is positive so I have okay every comment has to be
positive that's outside of me another rule about love is people have to
constantly tell me they love me Frantz Fanon to constantly text me it's another
rule about love and all these rules and all these rules make it impossible for
us to feel love because we set such a high standard and in the same way those
are externally validating rather than knowing love comes from within we are
the source of love think about this we're right here can you see that yes so
we're right here we want to be in a relationship with someone else time off
what are they holding completeness we say and look at someone else and what we
do is we say that this person was my life I feel so much love so what we do
is bitch eventually we might be in a relationship with this person and what
might happen is then they see us in a certain way we then feel that love from
them because they're seen us in a certain way we're looking at them and
they've met our rules we have a rule this is when I'm a relationship then I
feel loved and then we're feeling loved but the key it that the funny thing is
is that love was inside of us the whole time
it's just we have a rule that once we're in a relationship then if then we can
feel love if I'm in a relationship then I'll feel love in the beginning that's
how it is - and then what happens as that relationship goes on it's like if
this person takes up the trash if this person does this if this person says
this to me if this person doesn't go out with their friends all of these things
you still see me kind of let me maybe move this a little bit but you see
that's the thing is we have all of these rules about what it takes for us to feel
loved and these rules limit us from actually
feeling that love I think that's better lagging right now
so what rules do you have and my goal with helping you is helping you become
free of your rules not developing new rules and yes you can eventually develop
the new rules and of being loved but you realize that you are loved because you
are source it's your nature of who you are and then what you do and what I
recommended I was talking to Victor about was stepping outside and catching
yourself and every time you start to feel unworthy and knowing that that was
the past version of you and when you do that you then start to distance yourself
from the old identity the old way of being the old stories the old rules so
for me I would look at myself and be like hey Ron used to need validation
from people wanted everyone to like him hey Ron now it's not Erin I was a a Ron
when I see that then what I can do is start acting from a new level of
identity and I can start doing things of filling up my own cup take more time for
self-love I can change certain meanings you wanna know what really changed the
meaning for me recently as the YouTube channel has grown I receive a lot more
love and then I also receive a little bit more hate it's part of growth right
I had these conflicting ideologies on one hand I want to grow and spread the
message and on the other hand I don't want to experience people that don't
like me if they don't like me then I'm not enough but what I did is I changed
the story to myself and I realized we'll actually if there's more people that
don't like the content and what that means is I'm actually reaching more
people I'm reaching people that normally wouldn't even be open to this content
yes I think it I think it as much negative response when I was at you know
50,000 subs but that's because there's a much smaller audience the bigger master
you go the more you get a mix that's a good thing
I'm reaching more people so that immediately that changed and also
there's no rule that says that everyone has to let me that was a a Ron you see
and then I started acting from this new level of identity I start being who I
prefer to be I start being in a way I don't apologetically myself I start
being just integrity with myself and I start just expressing ideas the way I
want making videos about things I want to make videos about I fill up my own
cup I focus on the love within myself I do meditations that help me to
feel that love as well and if you haven't seen yet what I'm talking about
to heal these two little lakes it's by something called completing the past one
of the most popular meditations on my channel is meditation for healing
completing the past and feeling 100 cent worthy whole and complete it's
extraordinarily powerful you can read the comments to see what's possible
it'll go ahead and link in the top of the description box that will help you
to feel 100% worthy whole and completing the drop the stories that you have about
love and the rules you have about what it takes for you to feel loved so listen
that meditation for Mondays watch what happens on net as always please watch
left and I mistake