Transcriber: Rodina Abuzaid Reviewer: Eunice Tan
Jacques Verduin: Thank you.
My father was a prisoner.
More precisely, my father was a war prisoner.
As an 18-year-old young man
living in Holland during the Second World War,
he was kidnapped
and transported deep into Germany to do forced labor for the Germans.
He had a tough time,
but he survived.
As kids, we could hear him scream in his sleep,
dealing with his traumas.
When the Berlin Wall came down, he wanted to go back:
back to find his captors,
back to heal the broken places,
back to make his peace.
And he did.
And he managed to find some of the captors,
some of the surviving soldiers,
and they sat in a circle, and they sat in a living room,
and pain was spoken,
and truths about that pain were spoken.
Needs were expressed;
forgiveness was offered;
apologies were extended and accepted.
My father came back a radically changed human being from that trip.
I've done about 20 years of time in here.
I get to go home at night, though.
But still, I find myself sitting in circles of men
seeking to reconcile themselves with their past.
And in those 20 years, we've put together one program.
We call it a standard offender accountability program named GRIP -
Guiding Rage Into Power.
The main goal, the main focus of that program
is to leave prison before you get out.
It's totally possible.
And for some of you on the outside,
there's a couple of clues too about the prison between your ears, right?
So,
almost 25% of our graduates are out,
have been released.
Exactly 0%, four years later, have come back.
(Applause)
Pretty astounding given the 64% average recidivism rate in California.
So,
with a small investment, we're saving millions of dollars.
Give us a bit more, we're saving hundreds of millions of dollars
while improving public safety,
while preventing revictimization.
What are we waiting for?
And it isn't just our programs.
There's a lot of good programs here in San Quentin.
I think for those of you present here,
it's fair to say that perhaps you're realizing
this is one of the most underreported, unique social experiments of our time,
and it's called San Quentin State Prison.
(Applause)
This place, or parts of it,
have been changed into a rehab university,
a greenhouse.
Communities have come in and built a lighthouse that shines.
They think they're the watchtowers,
but it's really a lighthouse tower - right? - that shines on our communities.
And men are going back to these communities,
that have something to give back to the places they took from.
Now, how profound is that?
How profound is that in a society that is steeped in violence?
Need I remind you
of the hundreds of school shootings that have happened since Sandy Hook?
Need I talk about the racial strife
in current America?
The growing religious divisions, too, now.
So these men have something to give back -
they're change agents.
So this is TED, right?
And incredible innovations have been made out of TED -
to medicine, education, design, etc.
But our prisons are lagging behind so far as an institution compared to those.
We think it's time to reframe what prison is.
We think it can be a hub of change, obviously.
It can be a resource to the community -
it can give back to the community -
rather than this place that dumps parolees on our streets.
So this is a call for us to come together
and do something with the excitement in this room
and design a new American prison.
Are you on for it?
(Shouting) (Applause)
Prison reform -
we don't just need to talk about letting more people out,
we need to talk about how they come out.
95% of all prisoners eventually come out to be somebody's neighbor.
How do you want them?
We feel we have developed a technology
to transform suffering and violence into learning and healing,
just like that.
So let's put it to use.
In closing, from one of our students,
a quote.
And this quote's sort of -
it's eight words, that's all it is,
but it describes very much the program we're doing.
He said, "You know, I learned in GRIP that hurt people hurt people.
That I lashed out from the pain inside that I didn't know what to do with."
He said, "And then I learned that healed people heal people.
That to the extent I mend my brokenness,
I have agency to help others to do that.
That lesson is really all I needed to learn."
And if any one of you in this room or at home listening to this
has ever been hurt by an act of violence,
this piece is for you.
Listen closely; take it in.
I give you Fateen Jackson.
(Applause) (Cheering)
Fateen Jackson: It is said that the measure of a man
is how he stands up to personal adversity.
But I say, in this case,
it's how he face up to his own authenticity,
how he accepts his own vulnerability,
and how he takes personal responsibility,
with honesty,
for all of his past violent activities.
It is the measure of a decent human being when one can come clean
and recognize when they have wrongfully victimized the innocent,
with or without criminal intent,
and seek to make amends with them.
It doesn't matter if one just only lost their way
or if one thought that it was justified
for the sake of their pride
to see another person pay.
It was not okay.
We should have realized that there was always another way.
Therefore, today,
I pray
that I can help all the lives who have been victimized
by those who had violent minds,
like mine's,
to help you heal and survive.
I'll start by saying that I truly apologize.
I apologize for all the sorrow that you felt yesterday,
the dismay you may feel today
and tomorrow.
I apologize for the lingering hurt, pain, and drain that still remains.
I apologize for dishonoring your name by shamefully making you to blame.
I apologize for my cognitive dissonance
being in the cause of my own psychological imprisonment,
which aided my distorted sense of narcissistic selfishness.
I apologize for making you feel unsafe
and for not helping make the world a better place.
I apologize for all of those who have perpetrated violence against you,
whether it was accidental or intentional,
physical or emotional.
I hold myself accountable
because I too
have committed violent acts against individuals like you
as a participating vulture in a violent culture.
And if the people who hurt you won't say it,
then I will
because that's how I feel,
in hopes that my empathetic appeal
can help you heal.
Today, I'm happy to say that I'm no longer in denial,
which I admit I was for quite a while.
Now I'm willing to go the extra mile
to help those I hurt and harmed restore their authentic smile,
to help lift your spirit from a state of despair,
to help calm your fears and respect your tears,
to share my remorse that's making me change my life course
because I care.
Yes, I care
about your well-being and welfare.
It's only fair that I openly share this new man in me
who was seeking to reconnect with my morality and humanity.
Because for me,
this is part of the debt I owe to everybody in society,
especially you and your family
and my family.
So for all you survivors out there,
I hope you can accept my sincere apology
as I strive to survive my own victimology.
Your wounds and traumas would forever be a part of me,
and never again will I senselessly act out violently.
Lastly, and most importantly,
I dedicate this to you, to all of you, powerful champion survivors,
as part of my restitute,
to include a tribute for the resilient you.
And therefore I salute.
I salute you for not letting your grief
destroy your belief
in human decency and in your own inner peace.
I salute you for your enduring bravery
and for being determined to conquer your traumas courageously.
I salute you for having an open heart and being willing to forgive.
I salute you for striving to overcome,
for not letting the attack hold you back,
because you decided to be strong,
to move on,
and live.
And to all the beautiful souls who have passed on to a better place,
who have been embraced inside the essence of God's loving grace,
I salute you in spirit.
I salute you through prayer to ensure that God will let you hear it.
Your names will remain
in the hearts and minds of loved ones who have been left behind.
This is how and why you are survived.
And through all the hurt and pain from being slain,
I promise you that your death will not be in vain.
That's why I salute you too, all the same.
Please know that I now honor your names,
which are precious treasures in life.
And so it is my delight and pleasure to show you my true measure
as a decent human being,
to come clean,
to make amends and help bring us together,
to help make life more lovable,
peaceful,
and more better.
Because of this gesture,
I now view the word "victims" very differently.
Specifically, what it means to me is victors in conquering traumas,
incredible master survivors.
You are all more than worthy of being admired.
That's why I exalt you and salute you.
(Applause) (Cheering)
[TEDxSanQuentin is a San Quentin Media Center Production.]
[This Event Was Produced, Filmed, and Edited By Incarcerated Specialists]