In this video, you're going to learn how to master
the art of negotiation and persuasion for your business.
So whether you're speaking to manufacturers or contract
workers, or maybe you're just looking to sell to more potential
customers, these tips are going to help you get what you
want out of your negotiations.
And surprise.
We talked to an FBI hostage negotiator, and he's going to give
us the scoop because who better to teach us the tricks of the trade
than someone who's negotiated with bank robbers and kidnappers.
Right.
So let's get into it.
Chris Voss is a former FBI hostage negotiator, and he's
the author of never split the difference: negotiating as
if your life depended on it.
So we had the opportunity to chat with him.
Now, the first thing that we wanted to find out was
how well the average person negotiates and Chris told us
that we all tend to overestimate our negotiation abilities.
He says, unfortunately, while our negotiation approach
seems very smart, eloquent, and remarkable in our minds.
Most people are just kind of average.
When we think about the times that we negotiated an extra $2 at a
yard sale, or when we negotiated a raise, we consider ourselves
to be negotiation experts.
This natural overconfidence is actually our biggest
negotiation weakness, Chris says.
People feel the need to make their point.
And they think their point is the solution.
My solution is not just my solution.
It's the solution.
We all think we're rational, reasonable, and smart.
But the problem is that everybody has this mindset.
So we all end up just talking past each other instead of aggressively
arguing for our solutions.
We should be focused on creating epiphany moments for the people
that we're negotiating with.
Chris explains that persuasion and negotiation have very
little to do with your opinion.
Chris says great communication is about providing epiphany moments.
What's the advantage of an epiphany moment?
Well, they feel bonded to whoever provided that
epiphany people feel grateful.
There's an emotional attachment that is instantaneously
created toward whoever provided that epiphany.
All right.
So together let's look at the nine time was principles of negotiating.
Starting with number one, be a mirror.
Okay.
So when you're acting as a mirror.
You allow the other person to see themselves in you, you
don't let pushing your own agenda be more important than
understanding your audience.
Your focus should be on the other person.
So listen to what they're saying about who they
are and what they want.
To be successful here, don't make assumptions.
What you're going to want to do is you're just going to want to
be very present in the negotiation so that you're picking up on cues.
And also persuasion actually is not about conflict.
It's more about discovery.
So you want to make sure that you're discovering their
hesitations and their needs.
All right.
So next tip for you is don't feel their pain, label it.
Empathy is an important part of persuasion.
You can't negotiate well, if you're not relating to the
other person, but keep in mind that you don't need to feel
their pain or agree with it.
You just need to empathize with them, label it and let them
know that you understand, you know, you probably will have
an opinion one way or another, but that doesn't mean that you
can't empathize with both sides.
Let's say you're negotiating with your graphic designer.
You could tell them.
I understand it is important for you to be paid fairly for
your time and your talent.
However, I'm working with limited funds since I am a startup, right?
So in this example, you can see how both sides are addressed.
Now, remember that you are dealing with real people, right?
They want to be understood.
They want to be appreciated.
So belittling your counterpart's argument and
just, you know, forcing your own is not going to work.
Also.
This is pretty interesting.
So understanding why the other person won't make the deal is
actually more important than trying to guess what it would
take for them to make the deal.
So basically your job is to understand those objections and
then try to clear those barriers.
Okay.
Super quick break here.
I just want to let you know about a very cool resource that we have, so
you can turn more website visitors into customers by getting a crash
course in conversion optimization.
And you can access our free curated list of high-impact articles
in the description box below.
I will make sure to link that for you guys.
All right.
So next tip is, don't be afraid of a no.
Now, according to Chris.
No, makes people feel safe when they're negotiating.
It makes them feel like they're in the driver's seat.
Now this is especially true when the other party is
really pushing for that yes.
Because people tend to get defensive and they tend to respond
with a no, but triggering a no can actually be a good thing.
It's like a clue for you.
You know, you're about to learn something because no
tells you what their objections and their hesitations are.
A Yes, of course is your final goal, but aiming for it right
out the gate can make your counterpart raise their guard.
So don't be afraid of a no, by triggering a no, you're going
to gain insights into their objections and their hesitations.
And that's going to allow you to define what their
desires are much more clearly.
So when you do get to no, and you will get a no, of course, at some
point, you're going to want to make sure that you're asking questions.
Questions is one of your most useful tools for persuasion.
So use questions to unblock your paths, to get
you closer to your goal.
Tip number four is triggered the two words that immediately
transform any negotiation.
The two most powerful words that you can hear in any
negotiation are that's right.
So if you get your counterpart to say those two words,
then you've transformed the conversation hearing that's right.
Is actually even better than Yes.
Well, according to Chris, this can lead to a change
of thoughts and actions.
The more the other person feels understood.
The more likely it is that they're going to take your desired action.
And of course, that's a win for you.
Now, outside of just B2B, you can actually use this tactic in
a way that's going to help you sell to your potential customers.
Okay.
So for example, whisky river soap actually weaves this concept of
relatability into their candles.
This candle is particularly effective because it makes
a relatable statement and then they even end their
question with, right?
So take a look at this candle too.
If you're an introvert or if you're a middle child,
you can probably relate.
And in your head, you're probably thinking that's right.
So this positive regard actually makes it more likely that you'll
be willing to buy the candle.
So keep that in mind, as you're selling to your customers, next
tip is to bend their reality.
So a fast deadline is going to add urgency to a negotiation.
So items near the checkout at a grocery store is
a very common example.
So let's say you're standing there, you're waiting
to pay for your items.
And then you notice a chocolate bar.
Do you need that chocolate bar?
Oops.
You grabbed it now you've already paid, right?
You didn't initially come here to buy that chocolate bar, but
given that it was your last chance to grab one, you went with it.
Applying urgency when you're negotiating with your
customers is very common.
One study by CXL Institute found that by simply adding free next
business day delivery if you order before 4:00 PM to a product page
that increased revenue by 27%.
Busted tees often applies this technique whenever they're
running a big promotion and you definitely can, too.
This tactic can also be used when you're negotiating.
So, for example, let them know that a decision needs
to be made by a certain time.
Even if that time is arbitrary for you, there's no need
to be aggressive here.
You know, you could just give them a gentle nudge, um, and
that can also be effective, but remind them why it benefits
them to make a quick decision.
Psychology is funny.
People would rather avoid a loss than realize a gain.
All right.
So when you're negotiating put the focus on an opportunity
that they would be missing out.
If they don't act fast, this is known as loss aversion,
and the wise words of Chris, we are emotional irrational
creatures in predictable pattern.
You can trigger a loss aversion in your customers by simply
letting them know that they're going to lose out on a significant
discount or maybe miss out on a free next business day delivery.
If they take too long to decide.
All right, next step for you guys is give your
counterpart the control.
So you might be familiar with what's known as the Ikea effect.
Basically, we assign a high value to things that we partially create.
So that $40 Ikea table is going to be worth so much more
to us after we've struggled through assembling it right?
Now similarly, if your counterpart arrives to a solution on their own,
it is more impactful than if you were to push them to get there.
So what this means is you're going to want to put your
counterpart in the drivers.
So to do this, you're going to want to use a questions
and options to gently point your counterpart towards that
idea that you have in mind.
So if you structure these carefully, that result might
actually be in your favor.
So ask questions that start with how or what, and that's
going to inspire a longer risk.
Questions that start with why can be perceived as accusations
and accusations are actually going to make your counterpart
dig deeper and really just defend their position more intensely.
So to avoid this, always try to reframe your questions and
start with how and what, so let's say you're negotiating
minimum order quantities with your supplier, or maybe you're
negotiating with an artisan.
You may ask them, how long does it take to make one unit?
Now, if you know that they can create a single unit pretty
fast, then they may come to the conclusion on their
own that it is reasonable to come down and pricing.
Now, if you were to ask, why does it take you so long to
make a single unit, then it's gonna, you know, it's going to
elicit a completely different.
So keep that in mind, a lot of factors play into flawless
execution, but Chris emphasizes that demonstrating your
humanity and humor breaks the ice and builds rapport.
So let's look at how humor applies to selling your product, because
when you're selling a product, you really are negotiating with
your customer, that this is a purchase that they need to make.
So let's take a look at Touchy.
Touchy does this really well on their homepage.
And they do this really well on their product pages and just
in their marketing in general, they talk about their product,
the way that you would speak to your best friend, you know, it's
relatable and it's persuasive.
Speak your customer's language by using phrases that your ideal
customers are already using.
So pay attention to tone and pay attention to voice.
If you can talk like your customers think, then it's just
going to build a connection and really provide an opening
for you to ask questions, to learn more about their
motivations and their objections.
So for example, you could ask how questions in your
surveys and on your website copy after building rapport.
If you're able to get your counterpart to
agree with something.
Three times then you'll know you're on the right track.
Because at that point it's just really hard to fake
conviction repeatedly.
So if you can get your counterpart to agree with you more than
three times, you're good to go.
All right.
So next tip is to bargain hard.
Decreasing raises will make your counterpart believe that
they're going to get the best possible value out of your deal.
So for example, let's say that, you know, you can offer
a $10,000 to close the deal, but obviously you're not
going to start there right?
Instead, you're going to start with $6,000, then you're
going to raise it to $7,000.
Then 7.5, as the raises decrease, you're letting them know that room
is running out and that you're approaching the best possible deal.
This technique can also be applied to your marketing.
So this can simply just look like tiered discounts so you can send an
email out for 10% off, then it can be 20% off if that's not accepted
and then 30% off and so on.
I would recommend that you end your numbers off on non round numbers.
So let's say for example, you have a price for $27, bring
it down to 1599, because that makes it look like it's a deal.
All right.
So here are some super useful tips as you're bargaining.
First of all, prepare for bargaining in advance.
So set an ambitious, but a legitimate goal ahead of time.
And also try to think of any objections or no scenarios so
that you're prepared ahead of time and make sure that you're
setting your boundaries, know what your absolute nos are for you.
All right.
So final tip is to find the black Swan.
So black swans are the unknown of all unknowns.
They are the leverage multipliers.
They are what you didn't know, you didn't know.
And when you see a black Swan, it's going to offer up a
free space to make that deal.
Your job is to deeply understand your counterparts worldview.
So when you're hunting for that black Swan, you're going to
find it in personal thoughts, feelings, attitudes, perceptions,
values of your counterpart.
So dig deep into their personality, hobbies, and lifestyle, and
then find a note to relate.
Research shows that we favor people who are just like us.
So once you understand their worldview, just show
them that you're similar.
These nine principles come from the book, never split the difference
and that was written by Chris.
So if you are a reader, definitely make sure to check that one out.
But Chris says that potent persuasion rarely
happens all at once.
So make sure that you're implementing these tips
very logically and simply so that your communication
doesn't become cluttered.
Refining your negotiation skills will not only make you
persuasive in business, but in all aspects of your life, if
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All right.
So hopefully you found this video helpful.
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Um, and it helps us grow our community as well.
And just for fun, actually, it makes sure that you're
leaving what you were about to negotiate in the common section.
Um, you can be vague with it if you want.
Um, but would be curious to know what you guys are negotiating next.
That is it.
Make sure that you're hitting subscribe so you don't miss
out on next week's video, but I'm your host, Michelle.
Thank you so much for joining us and I will see you in the next one.
Bye.