I find this hard to believe I just said
it pee-wee's big adventure we all
remember when that movie came out 35th
anniversary tour I cannot believe it's
been that long
me neither it's amazing and I got to
tell you I became an actor because I'm
terrible at math but if you're not
terrible at math 35 years I was 9 years
old when I made that I was terrible at
math and I also thought if I became an
actor I wouldn't have to wear a suit to
wear Yeah right
and now look at you yeah yes I think
this is good that you're here on the
show because this appearance is gonna
help you sell more tickets to the big
35th adventure tour that's what I think
why are you here if it's sold I don't
know I felt I felt weird if you're here
promoting something people can't go to
if they want to
exactly exactly their art will it's been
so successful that we've added some
dates those actually are not in a in a
few cities there's a few tickets left if
you if you are smart if you're really
you know you use your brain at all buy
them right away okay now how is the tour
going you were telling me before you
went out on the tour and I told you
before you went this is gonna be a smash
you gave me the most incredible advice
also like and I thought you were joking
with me but you weren't you were serious
and it was I'm no you know what I've
spent so much of my life telling people
things in earnest and they go me too I'm
gonna say the wife I loved her she was
like but it's the same thing I want to
try exactly when I told your wife that I
loved her
[Laughter]
but I do love your wife I love your wife
watching right now she does not watch
this show if your wife's watching right
now I want her to watch me have six
strokes okay so this tour is doing so
amazing right now that I'm gonna break
some news right now on your show we are
adding so many dates I don't know if
this is a record but we are adding over
600 dates a two and a half year
extension I'm gonna go to all seven
continents I am currently studying
languages for languages so that I can
speak to like the Chinese in Chinese the
Russians in Russian and be able to none
of this is true you had actually
everyone here was like this is amazing
you shouldn't have told us you were
lying cuz that was really convincing I
had to tell you yeah so the way it works
is you screen pee-wee's big adventure we
screen all the people before they come
in I like them or not whether you like
getting into a studio 54 sure yeah
that's a cool reference
no one here knows that you're talking
about who cares
man you've changed since you had that
water but you screen the movie and then
you take questions afterwards and you
know it's not what let me just stop you
right there if I may may I call you
Conan it's it's not a Q&A it's Justin a
it turned out to me that I didn't really
when I well no one asks are E I meant to
say what I meant to say is it's just yes
Justin a it's no it's not a cute okay
you tripped me up there for a second I
thought you were being earnest but you
are it's it's it's not a Q&A it's just
an a it turned out when I was putting
the show together that I realized I
really wasn't very interested in the
audience's questions you know so so I I
have a list of questions that I've heard
from people and I tell the audience
these are some questions that I would be
interested in I'm not going to answer
them but these are the types and then I
ask the audience a lot of questions oh
really okay well this sounds dreadful no
no I want are you being serious or
earnest I know that's the same thing I
don't even know I'm such a sociopath I
don't know what I am a I can be the
judge of that
yeah if you want to you can I don't I I
do want to say it's a really fantastic
show I mean what else would I say really
but it's it's seriously it's an
unbelievably fantastic amazing evening
watching the movie with two thousand
people that are all know the movie it's
like going to the Rocky Horror Show only
it's going to the pv oh yeah but these
are people that have loved you for some
of them for 35 years since the movie
came out so they know the movie they're
saying the lines along with the movie
and then you come out afterwards that's
gotta feel great it's got to feel really
good
it's okay
nope it feels it feels unbelievable it's
really it's I would use the word
staggering honestly it's so moving
and this is why position come back to
you told me ahead of time you said try
to try to drink it in try to enjoy it
enjoy it because you've earned it
yeah that was an amazing piece of advice
for me in all seriousness were being
completely completely were we're being
completely serious I almost liked you
for a sec okay we have we have a clip
from pee-wee's big adventure just for
the fun of it really yeah I just want to
show a clip from pee-wee's big adventure
I don't think we need to set this up
let's just go to it right oh we yeah
let's do it let's take a look I wouldn't
sell my bike for all the money in the
world not for a hundred million trillion
dollars you're crazy
no you are no I'm not you are
pee-wee why don't you make me why don't
you make me because I don't make monkeys
I just train them Oh peewee listen to
reason
come on and listen to reason
peewee that's my name don't wear it out
it's a great
you know I forgot I forgot something in
there what what imitating people when
they're chuckle yeah yeah yeah yeah it's
horrible I really don't like it you know
what's amazing it I remembered
first of all seeing pee-wee's Playhouse
and then the movie came out and it just
being such a revelation to me it is it
it was so insanely childish but
beautifully entertaining and hilarious
at the exact same moment it was I cannot
agree with you more