Hey! How come you guys aren't goin' at it?
Shawnie, you don't understand what I got here.
I mean, once you start up this engine,
it's nonstop to Puerto Rico.
Well, isn't he romantic?
I don't even know what he's talking about.
That's right. Papa don't make sense.
(SIGHS)
I hate this job!
"Rachel, the shower drain's clogged!"
"Rachel, somebody puked in the hall! Go clean it up."
"Rachel, the candy machine's out of corn nuts!"
It is? Well, fix it!
I am a resident adviser, I'm not a vending-machine stuffer!
I took this job for the one stinking perk they give you. Do you know what that is?
Great roommate? A parking spot!
That's what I get.
A place to park my little Beetle near my room.
I've never seen our favorite redhead so fiery.
I like it!
I had to walk a mile and a half
because of some stupid, selfish, spot-grubbing moron!
Maybe the moron didn't know it was yours.
You!
You parked in my spot?
Don't have a hissy fit.
If you don't move your car right now,
I will use my power as RA to see that you do so!
Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho-ho!
What are you gonna do, ban me from the soda machine?
Revoke my corn nut privileges?
Oh! She can't do that!
Because there aren't any!
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Okay! That's it! You're breaking rules right now
because you're in the dorms after hours!
I'm banning you from the dorm. Get out!
(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)
Can she do that? I just did!
Goodbye.
I am shocked and dismayed.
Well, now, you can't be both.
You be shocked, I'll be dismayed.
Wifey, we're leaving! Walk behind me!
I'm staying!
You hear that, shocked?
She's stayin'.
You are gonna be sorry, homewrecker.
Oh, yeah.
Uh-oh. Uh-oh, what?
Trust me. Rachel, I've known Cory and Shawn longer than you have.
You do not want to make them upset.
Oh, I'm not scared of them.
Well, maybe you should be. They're maniacs.
(CAR ALARM BLARING)
(CAR HORN HONKING)
ANGELA: Uh, Rachel!
AUTOMATED VOICE: Step away from the car.
(SCREAMING)
(ECHOING)
(CHUCKLING)
There they are!
Hey, hey, hey! Mr. Feeny!
Angela!
Resident Adviser McGuire.
Good morning, Angela. My Angela.
Shut it!
Are you mad at me?
I nearly broke my toe
trying to get over a car on the way to the closet!
A car?
BOTH: In your room?
Isn't that a violation of dorm rules?
We should report her to the authorities.
But she is the authorities.
BOTH: There's a car in your room, lady!
Oh, you both think you're so clever, don't you?
BOTH: Yeah, pretty much.
But you're clever. But you're clever.
Get 'em, Feeny!
Gentlemen, this kind of behavior is juvenile
and unbefitting of college sophomores.
Did you really put a car in her room?
That's great!
However, these kinds of antics will not be tolerated.
How did you do it? (CHUCKLES)
Feeny, Feeny, looky, looky! Looky, looky!
Mr. Feeny!
I'm sorry, Miss McGuire,
but there are no rules on the books
about putting cars in rooms.
Was there loud music emanating from the car?
No.
Then you got nothin'.
They set off my alarm to wake me up!
Well, now, that's just plain brilliant!
(ALL LAUGH)
You're not going to teach them a lesson?
No. And you can't make me.
Okay. For the past two years, I've had to endure all these stories
about the great Mr. Feeny and his amazing lessons,
and now, they put a Volkswagen in my room,
and you have not one lousy lesson?
All right, here's a lesson.
Relax. Take a nice drive
into your closet!
(ALL LAUGHING) Feeny!
That's my boy! Let me have it!
You all disgust me!
Oh, can it, McGuire, they got you. Ha-ha!