>>> ALL RIGHT, FOLKS. CAN I GET YOU TO GATHER OVER
HERE, PLEASE. SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOUR LUNCH,
EVERYONE. I JUST WANT YOU ALL TO BE CLEAR
THAT HERE AT BETA CORP. WE HAVE A ZERO TOLERANCE FOR WORKPLACE
SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND ALL OFFENDERS WILL BE TERMINATED.
[ APPLAUSE ] THAT BEING SAID, UNFORTUNATELY,
WE HAD TO FIRE OUR CFO, DOUG GIFFORD.
>> HEY, FINALLY. >> YEAH, GOOD RIDDANCE.
>> BASTARD. >> AND ALSO OUR FRONT DESK GUY,
CHARLIE. >> OH.
>> NOT CHARLIE. >> AND IF IT'S OKAY,
WE HAVE ASKED THEM TO COME OUT AND FORMALLY APOLOGIZE TO ALL OF
YOU BEFORE THEY LEAVE. COME ON OUT HERE, GUYS.
>> THANK YOU, GLEN. I JUST WANT TO SAY TO ALL OF YOU
THAT I AM DEEPLY AND TRULY SORRY FOR ANYTHING INAPPROPRIATE THAT
I MAY HAVE DONE WHILE WORKING HERE.
>> YEAH, MY BAD. >> TO JANET IN PARTICULAR.
I KNOW THAT I PLAYFULLY REFERRED TO YOU AS MY LITTLE HONEY BEE
AND IT MADE YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE AND I KNOW NOW
THAT IT WAS WRONG AND I'M SORRY. >> IT WAS GROSS, AND YOU ARE
GROSS. >> JANET, I KNOW SOMETIMES YOU
WOULD WALK BY ME AND I WOULD SAY SOMETHING LIKE, MMMM, MMMM
THEN I'D SHAKE MY HEAD, DO A LITTLE DANCE AND ASK YOU NOT TO
HURT NOBODY WITH THAT THING. IT WAS WRONGFUL I'M SORRY.
>> CHARLIE, YOU ARE SO CRAZY. >> OH, THAT IS CLASSIC CHARLIE.
>> OKAY. AMANDA, THERE WAS ONE TIME AT A
MEETING RECENTLY WHERE I COMMENTED ON YOUR DRESS AND YOUR
FIGURE. AND EVEN THOUGH I MEANT IT AS A
COMPLIMENT, APPARENTLY IT WAS STILL INAPPROPRIATE, SO FOR THAT
I'M SORRY. ?
OH, APPARENTLY? OKAY, WELL,
APPARENTLY YOU STILL DON'T GET IT.
AND THAT'S WHY THEY FIRED YOUR CREEP ASS.
>> YEAH! [ APPLAUSE ]
>> MANDY, MANDY, SWEETER THAN CANDY.
I REMEMBER I SAID SOMETHING ABOUT THAT DRESS, TOO.
I THINK IT WAS ALONG THE LINES OF MMMM, MMMM, MMMM, MMMM.
WOMAN, YOU THICKER THAN A BOWL OF BISCUIT BATTER. WHY DON'T YOU
MAKE OLD CHARLIE A PAIR WITH EXTRA JELLY. THEN I DID MY
LITTLE DANCE, TOLD YOU NOT TO HURT NOBODY WITH THAT THING.
IT WAS INAPPROPRIATE. THAT'S MY BAD.
>> OH CHARLIE, YOU ARE TOO MUCH. >> YOU KNOW I AIN'T GOT NO
SENSE. >> GLEN, YOU CAN'T FIRE CHARLIE.
IT'S JUST CHARLIE. >> IT WAS A CORPORATE DECISION,
DENISE. MY HANDS ARE TIED.
>> DENISE. >> WHAT, CREEP?
>> I KNOW THAT YOU DIDN'T LIKE ME SUGGESTING TO YOU THAT YOU
WOULD GET AHEAD FURTHER IN THIS BUSINESS IF YOU SMILED A LITTLE
MORE. IT WAS JUST ADVICE.
>> WELL, IT SUCKED. AND YOU SUCK.
>> YEAH, THAT IS LEGIT AWFUL, DOUG.
>> I KNOW. THAT'S WHY I'M SAYING SORRY NOW.
>> DENISE -- AT ONE TIME I THINK I MAY HAVE
SUGGEST IF I WAS 11 YEARS YOUNGER I WOULD PUT YOU IN A
LARGE SACK, THROW YOU IN THE TRUNK OF MY ELDORADO AND DRIVE
YOU TO MY SISTER BETTY'S HOUSE WITH THE MEDICAL BED, AND THEN
I'D CRACK OPEN ALL THE WINDOWS AND SHOW YOU A GOOD OL' TIME FOR
28 MINUTES. >> I GUESS THAT'S MY LOSS,
CHARLIE. >> HOW ARE YOU OKAY WITH THAT?
>> SHUT UP, MAN, THAT'S JUST CHARLIE.
>> YEAH, HE'S JUST A SWEET OLD MAN.
>> GLEN, YOU JUST CAN'T FIRE CHARLIE.
IT'S THE HOLIDAYS. >> BELIEVE ME.
I DON'T WANT TO. I WISH I WAS JUST FIRING DOUG,
TOO. >> WHAT?
>> OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME SWEET SEXY JENNY.
MAYBE I CAN GET A JOB AT SANTATOWN, THEN I COULD SNEAK
DOWN YOUR CHIMNEY, TIE UP YOUR OLD MAN, CRACK OPEN ALL THE
WINDOWS AND GIVE YOU A 28 MINUTE PRESENT.
MMMM MMMM, DON'T YOU HURT NOBODY WITH THAT THING.
>> THANK YOU CHARLIE. >> THANK YOU?
HE SAID HE WANTS TO BREAK INTO YOUR HOME, TIE UP YOUR HUSBAND
AND CRACK OPEN THE WINDOWS FOR SOME REASON.
>> THAT'S TO GET THE FUNK OUT. >> OKAY.
AND THEN HAVE SEX WITH YOU. >> OKAY, DON'T MAKE IT GROSS,
DOUG. >> YEAH, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE
EVERYTHING SEXUAL? >> HE'S A SWEET OLD MAN, WHAT'S
YOUR DEAL? >> LOOK, IT JUST -- IT FEELS
LIKE YOU GUYS ARE GOING EASIER ON HIM CAUSE CHARMING OLD BLACK
MAN AND HE HAS DONE WAY WORSE STUFF.
>> BUT IT'S CHARLIE. >> WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
>> LOOK, MAYBE DOUG IS RIGHT. TOMMY, YOU REMEMBER THAT TIME I
MET YOUR FINE ASS WIFE AT THE OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY?
>> OF COURSE I DO, CHARLIE. I REMEMBER THAT.
>> YEAH, I HELD UP HER HAND AND TWIRLED HER AROUND AND YELLED
OUT, AIN'T NO WAY LITTLE BITTY TOMMY HITTING THIS THING,
RIGHT. >> YEAH.
>> AND LATER ON I SAW YOUR JUNK IN THE URINAL AND IT WAS A GOOD
SIZE. SO, I WENT BACK OUT TO THE PARTY
AND I YELLED OUT, I STAND CORRECTED, HOME BOY TOMMY IS
PACKING SOME HEAT." .
AND THEN EVERYBODY LAUGHED. >> YEAH.
>> YOU THINK THAT'S WHY I'M GETTING FIRED?
>> NO. NO, IT'S NOT, CHARLIE.
IT ACTUALLY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SEXUAL HARASSMENT.
CORPORATE SAYS THEY HAVE YOU ON CAMERA STEALING $380 IN PETTY
CASH. PLUS THEY FOUND HALF A POUND OF
COCAINE AND A BAG OF TINY BALLOONS IN YOUR LOCKER.
>> OH, OKAY. >> AND YOU SAVED A TON OF
PORNOGRAPHY ON TO THE LOBBY DESKTOP IN FOLDERS MARKED
CHARLIE'S STUFF. >> OH, YOU FOUND THAT.
>> YEAH. >> YEAH.
>> YOU SIGNED OUT THE COMPANY'S VAN, REPORTED IT STOLEN AND IT
WAS FOUND THREE DAYS LATER PARKED OUTSIDE OF A BROTHEL WITH
YOUR KEYS STILL IN THE IGNITION AND YOUR BROTHER
STILL ASLEEP IN THE FRONT SEAT. >> WHAT, CLARENCE WAS STILL IN
THERE? >> YEAH.
AND YOUR NAME'S NOT CHARLIE. IT'S RONALD WASHINGTON.
AND YOU ARE WANTED IN PENNSYLVANIA FOR KIDNAPPING.
>> OH, SO, IT'S STILL KIDNAPPING IF I BRING THEM BACK?
OKAY, THAT'S MY BAD. THAT'S MY BAD.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]