Here's something very interesting. Babies are born with two fears
Babies are born with two fears.The Fear of being dropped
and the fear of loud noises .They do not have anymore fears.
They will close straight over the balcony
and down flight of stairs .
They walk straight out of an open window
They put a hand in a dogs mouth ..and stick their fingers in a electric socket
.. because they don't know fear
and the reason I'm telling you that is because
so many fears we have are acquired
So we are scared of being rejected
I don't like when people look at me. Here is the thing, when you were born
what was your first experience
being looked at. The nurse, adults, mum ,
dad , grandparents .Looked at you
counting your toes . No maybe because . Don't look at me !
I am a bit fat . I am having a bad head or I put this
fat legs... Babies love being looked even when..
... their diaper full and their nose is running .They...They like ...
attention
So the fear of being judged is an acquired fear.
It is a learnt fear. We learn to fear
being judged. Because we were judged unkindly
or unfavorably . However..
you can overcome that, by judging you-self
really well
So we have a kind of what I call
external fears. what if I go out
with this person and he dumps me.
what about to ask that person out . Uff!..and they do not wanna
go out with you .What about go for and interview ..No thanks !
we are not looking for you .So these external
fears...Disappointment,
rejection, hurt , pain...
it's ok to go to this experiences.
They mould you ,they shape you ,they grow you...
..and then we have internal fears .But you know...we have a fear
of falling. We go to the edge of a building look down
and the stomach plummet...I go to speak on stage
and my fingers feel kind of ..
.. tingling ..because ..I decided to go with this
excitement. Rather than run so nervous and..
so we have inner nervousness about doing things
we have fears of dogs and cats
and bees and lifts..but these are all
learnt fears .For every person who fear cats
someone else loves them
..a use as a charge is when don't .It is fine
.that cat is going to scratch you or that bee is going to sting you.
or you are going to fall of the tree and kill yourself or...
you might drown in the water and
I had a word with a little boy recently who was very fearful because
his father was saying things from when I was in the school and this kid like you
.. ran in a road and he got run over and killed
'cause he didn't know where he is going I knew some one who never learn
to swim and on holiday he drowned
...and he wanted to make these kids safe and he
actually terrified them because he filled them up with fear
and what could go wrong the worst
possible outcome . A plane is gonna crash
I 'm driving in the rain and I might get scared and die
there is not point in those fears..
When you focus on the worst possible outcome.
you actually feel as if you were in that worst
possible outcome ...and the only way
to overcome that fear is that instead of being focus in the worst
possible outcome , just focus in the best possible outcome
I am driving, It's foggy , it's dark
it's icy . .I might skid off the road and kill myself. ...Or!
I am driving very carefully, I am driving very slowly
.. I am driving very cautiously because I am going to..
..be safe ...and I gonna get home
that's the difference .You just have to
give yourself different believes..The thing
with fear always is that you have two choices
rationalize why you feel so terrible
or talk yourself out of it...I was out
on the beach with my daughter and there was a big dog and it..
was quite scary dog ..and she didn't like this dog and I said to her
Darling when you don't like a dog
you get very scare and the dog doesn't like it either
he get scare. So when you see a scary dog
turn your back to it. don't look at it..because when you look at it
your are challenging it ...and that's hard to do ..
..to turn back on a dog. ..But if you turn your back
it is not a challenge
and she understood that and I ..
always teaching when you have a fear
you have a choice. ..Oh my god! That dog
.. is going to bite me , attack me ,hurt me...or...
I going to talk myself I am going to turn away I am going to ...
.. breath ....., I am going to be very calm...and that dog
is gonna go on its way....and it's the same
with everything in life to do with fear
rationalize why you feel so fearful or...
talk yourself about it . I will be fine ,
this is ok..everything is going
to work out perfectly ...I'm OK
all of this fears hold you back
and they don't have to. Because every fear you..
go through, teaches you something...you see ! .if you go...
to a fun-fair and go to those loop the loop rides.
you can scream in terror or you can
scream in excitement and the fact that we put ourselves through
these ride things is that in some
...level we quite like fear . It challenge us ..
to do more... It challenge us ...
to grow more ..So don't fear fear...Remember only..
fear to fear its' fear itself.