(upbeat music)
(parade music)
- July 4th.
It's that glorious day when we celebrate
America's independence from Great Britain
and it's also my birthday!
I said, it's my birthday.
(confetti pops) (children cheering)
And if y'all get me donuts again,
I'm going to hurt somebody.
(moody music) But despite that,
there are Black folks out there
who have a complicated relationship with the 4th of July,
you know, because of all the slavery
and segregation and red lining and police brutality
and Megan Thee Stallion not getting
the respect she deserves.
And I get that.
(parade music) But did you know
that there was a time when July 4th
was a very Black holiday?
In fact, there was a time when America thought
Black people celebrated July 4th a little too much.
Here's the story.
(screen whooshes) Before the civil war,
Independence Day was a day for White people to celebrate,
by parading around town and getting wasted on cheap booze.
It was basically a Patriots game for the original patriots.
(men cheering)
But for the growing anti-slavery movement,
July 4th was a shameful day,
that represented America's hypocrisy.
Because how you gonna celebrate freedom,
when you're chaining up millions of people?
That's like Britney Spears dad throwing a party,
because he can write his own checks.
And no one expressed this anger
better than Frederick Douglass
in a speech he gave on July 4th, 1852.
Where he told White Americans
(somber classical music) that the existence of slavery
in this country, brands your republicanism as a sham,
your humanity as a base pretense
and your Christianity as a lie.
Damn.
That was a read straight from the Library of Congress.
I would have been like,
yeah and your wig look goofy as (beep),
your petticoats smell like horse balls
and your wood teeth got termites.
Mm mm. With y'all dying of consumption ass.
Mm mm. I know gout when I see it.
(screen whooshes) (guns shooting)
(trumpet playing) But then
the civil war happened, ooh.
And it completely flipped the script on July 4th,
especially in the South,
because now Black people can actually celebrate freedom
and White southerners were in no mood
to celebrate the Independence Day of a country
that had just whooped their asses.
(screen whooshes) So suddenly Independence Day
became an almost exclusively Black holiday
in the former confederacy.
Black people had picnics.
(screen whooshes) They watched fireworks.
They recited the emancipation proclamation
and the 13th amendment, which sounds like fun,
except for reading all those documents.
I don't know,
maybe if they put like a beat to it or something.
♪ Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude ♪
♪ Except as a punishment for crimes ♪
♪ Whereof the party shall be duly convicted ♪
♪ Shall exist within the United States ♪
- Now it's no surprise that racist Whites
didn't like Black people celebrating their freedom
from racist Whites.
So they decided the party had to stop.
Starting in the 1870's,
(screen whooshes) White mobs began attacking
Black gatherings on July 4th
(screen whooshes) and soon state legislatures
passed laws banning celebrations near Black neighborhoods,
pushing parades out of city limits
(screen whooshes) and even forbidding
street vendors from setting up food stalls in Black areas.
Do you know how racist you have to be
(hands clapping) to want less funnel cake?
Basically these racist law-breakers
were the original Barbecue Becky.
And stopping Black celebrations
was just one part of their century long struggle
against Black freedom and racial justice.
So I don't know about you, but this July 4th,
I'll be celebrating Independence Day
as hard as I celebrate Juneteenth,
as the day of freedom for all Americans.
Not just because it's fun,
but also it's because I get to piss off
all those dead racists watching from hell. (laughs)
And also because it's my birthday!
(confetti pops) (children cheering)
Now give me all that funnel cake.
Happy IndepenDULCE Day everybody! (blows kiss)
(upbeat music)