When you've seen enough photos of Just Harry and Meghan Markle, you start to notice a pattern
in the way she holds, not only his hand, but his arm.
The internet vernacular refers to it as the Markle Claw™
Some say that this is just a display of affection, others say that it's needy, and others say
it's plain toxic.
But we cannot be sure until we dissect that gesture, and that's exactly what I'm going
to do in this video, talking about
- When public displays of affection could be inaproppriate,
- The thin line between dominance and insecurity, and
- How gestures like this can be used as Neuro Linguistic Programming anchors.
Welcome back, my Body Language Buddies! my name is Jesús Enrique Rosas, I'm the Body
Language Guy, and it would be great if you join us... by just liking this video, subscribing
and hitting that bell. Let's get down to it!
What is so fascinating about the Markle Claw is that it's pretty much the same configuration
all the time. Meghan has Harry's hand tightly clasped, and at the same time she holds his
arm with her other hand.
When you are reading couples body language, you usually consider certain gestures like
being in sync, or mirroring each other, or the distance between them and so on.
And of course, one of the most important characteristics of a healthy relationship is touch. In general,
a couple that never touches or never shows proximity between them, it's not a good sign.
But there is a big difference between doing it in private and doing it in public. Maybe
you absolutely love your partner but you don't feel like you need to be showing it to everyone.
That's ok.
But then, there are professional engagements, and that's what brings us to Meghan and Harry.
And in their case, I call a professional setting, for example, when they were on their New York
City tour, or they are at any other event of their foundation, at those moments they
are on duty mode.
In these scenarios is better to not display this kind of gestures because it makes you
look unprofessional. I've told you many times that most gestures are not good or bad, it's
just that they are off depending on the moment.
But in the case of the Markle Claw, the problem is much more evident, because it's not just
a public display of affection but also a gesture that severely limits movement.
I mean, try to run from zombies doing the Markle Claw and you'll see that it's not the
best idea.
Now, the question arises: Why Meghan does it all the time? why are there so many instances
of it?
To answer that question, we have to address the thin line between Dominance and Insecurity.
But before that, you should take a look at their first public appearance.
Watch the next clip and just keep it in mind because it will be important later on:
Good. Back to the Markle Claw, if Meghan grabs Harry's hand and at the same time grabs his
arm, it looks like she doesn't want him to go away. At first sight, it looks like a needy
gesture.
And we have enough examples not only of the Markle Claw but also of her not letting him
go in very awkward situations.
That is beyond odd. That feels like a lot of insecurity on her part. And it reeks of
a very strange codependency because we already have seen their attitude together a thousand
times, and Meghan shows an energetic attitude most of the time and Harry, well... he looks
like he needs a couple of vitamin B shots.
So it's counterintuitive that a woman like Meghan, who is constantly talking about women
empowerment, in not being just another princess, and so on... acts like this.
But there's another critical body language feature of the Markle Claw, that is the 'over'
thumb.
And that's why I showed you that 2017 clip to see if you could spot the big difference
with those first days:
Well, first of all, there's no Markle Claw yet. They are just walking, holding hands
and as I already mentioned in my analysis of their relationship, they had good body
language synchronization.
But the biggest difference is in that hand holding, it was Harry's thumb that was over
all the fingers, over the clasped hands of both.
That is a sign of protection and dominance. Literally, whoever has the thumb over their
holding hands is the one showing dominance and protection.
And since our duty as men for thousands of years, has been to protect our women and children,
it's natural that when we hold hands, is the man's thumb the one that is going to be over.
Not to mention the difference in size of men and women's hands.
This has nothing to do with how empowered a woman can be. Most women want to be with
a man that makes them feel safe. Literally, a dangerous gentleman.
That being said... Harry, what the bloody hell?
If Meghan has her thumb over his, all the time, that is a dominant gesture. And that
dominance also shows in the way she limits Harry's movement with the Markle Claw itself.
But what about being protective? instead of a gesture of a man protecting his woman, is
a gesture of a woman protecting his man. That's a reinforcement of the theory about Harry
still needing a mother figure.
That's why he's okay with that very uncomfortable way of holding hands. Uncomfortable just by
the difference in size.
But I suspect that the Markle Claw has another function. And the tip I'm about to share with
you is a very useful skill when you are reading Body Language.
And it's about gestures becoming neuro linguistic programming anchors. And there is no better
illustration than this moment from Oprah's interview:
- So nobody tells you anything? - No
- Nobody prepared you... - No, sorry, but even the national anthem...
- No, sorry, but even the national anthem...
This is an oversimplification, but neuro linguistic programming anchors are a way of conditioning
a specific behavioral response to an specific stimulus. For example, you want to quit smoking
and you design a personal anchor to use every time you feel the urge to smoke.
It's ideal that this anchor triggers a rejection of the act of smoking.
Sometimes these anchors, or as I prefer to call them, cues, can happen spontaneously.
For example, you begin to notice in a subconscious manner that every time your boss, or your
partner is about to start a discussion, they tense their jaw and stroke their chin. Like
this.
After it happens a dozen times, you begin to associate the gesture with conflict. And
again, this can happen subconsciously. So maybe next time they do that gesture, you
instantly drop your case because you don't think this is worth an argument.
So, your behavior with this person has been modeled with a cue. A body language cue based
on Neuro Linguistic Programming.
But for this to work, the gesture has to be the same every time. That's why the Markle
Claw, since it's executed exactly the same, every time, could trigger certain behavior.
And it can perfectly be a submissive behavior, exactly the same way she silenced him just
touching his wrist.
Because Harry never said what he wanted to say at that moment.
And it makes sense that Meghan knows about this because that's something that you need
to know in acting. You need to be able to trigger a reaction, a response, an emotion
on command.
There are all kind of behavioral cues. They can be sounds, they can be words, they can
be images, but the most powerful are the ones with touching.
That's why there are so many self programming techniques that involve touching your own
head or your heart, or pressing your fingers in a certain way.
And that would also explain, why are there so many instances where Meghan is putting
her hand on Harry's back.
I understand. You might have doubts about this. That's ok. But then, do you have any
explanation for Harry's attitude change before and after marrying Meghan?
And now he's already free from Royal life. Why doesn't he look happy?
I would love to read your comments on the Markle Claw. Next time, I will proceed to
unveil... the Markle Mask:
- I think we can do this. - Now I am gonna challenge you to a pint of,
as they would say...
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Take Care, my Body Language Buddies!