Greetings guys, gals, and non-binary pals and welcome back to another video!
I hope that you are well and I hope that you're fighting because there is a lot to be fighting for.
In today's video we are going to be looking at a channel that someone DM'd me on Instagram.
And I really wish they hadn't DM'd it to me because watching this was deeply upsetting.
Uh, it took me so long to watch just one video.
And so I decided that if I have to suffer, you have to suffer with me.
Because that's how it works here.
So... be prepared for the suffering.
It's this "dating expert".
I don't think he calls himself a dating coach, he just calls himself a "dating expert",
Who knows more about women than women do.
And he has like almost 100k subscribers and I think a bunch of TikTok followers as well.
And he thinks that he's top sh_t.
So the video we're gonna be watching of his today really reflects the type of person that he is.
In the sense of, thinking he knows women better than women.
It's "What Women Really Want in a Man, Versus What They Say They Want."
Everyone. Buckle up. Because it- it's gonna be a bumpy ride.
What's up, guys! This video we're gonna be breaking down what women really find attractive in men.
Specifically, we're gonna be focusing on the difference between what women say they want, and what they really want.
We're gonna be taking a look at a popular clip on TikTok of a chick talking about all her green flags and the things she looks for in a guy.
And I'm going to be telling you whether they're legit or she's being full of sh_t.
Bro...
Said it already, will say it again.
How do you know what this girl, individual, likes versus what she doesn't?
When she is telling you what she likes.
How are you the decider of that?
Bit strange.
Ah, but let's see what you have to say.
All right. So as I'm sure a lot of you guys already know there's often a big discrepancy,
Between what women say they want and what they really want.
Don't listen to that. Nobody listen to that. Never listen to that.
"There's a difference between what women say they want versus what they actually want" Don't- No.
Just do what women say they want.
Ah, because that's what they say they want,
And if they're lying about what they actually want that's a communication issue on their behalf.
So, don't break consensual boundaries.
Rule Number 1.
We're already off to a bad start. We are 49 seconds in.
-When a guy DM's you, what's- what should he say?
And the advice is always like "I don't know, just be yourself." right?
Like that's kind of bullsh_t, that's not really what turns a girl on.
I feel like your goal shouldn't be to turn a girl on from your first... DM.
That's so weird. It's so overly sexual.
This man makes everything- Like his entire personality is literally just...
Sleep with girls.
That's it. That's his entire personality.
Just be yourself, man. That's the way to actually get in with a woman.
That is true actual real advice. Who else you gonna be?
Don't pretend to be someone else.
That's like, low-key manipulation and like lying to sleep with women.
Which is very morally wrong.
These are my extreme green flags.
So hot, I'm obsessed. I'm walking down the aisle when it comes to a guy.
- This chick is like fiending for dick.
I like, barely have words.
She's- She just says, "These are my green lights when it comes to a guy."
Implying when it comes to a guy to be in a relationship with.
Nothing more. Just a guy that she wants to spend time with and be around.
I would really like to know how your mind goes to, "fiending for dick."
And a really rich thing for you to say when your entire personality...
Is sleeping with women.
Bro, not everything is about that.
Not everyone is like you.
Take it down like a thousand notches. Chill out.
Better yet, stop making videos.
Straight up.
Number one, if he has a sister.
I want to vibe with your sister.
I want to know that you know what a box of tampons looks like.
Okay, so this one is almost entirely irrelevant.
Now she's saying that she wants a guy with a sister.
But I tell you in real life, if you look at the guys that she's banged,
She doesn't give a f_ck whether they have a sister or not.
Why does he always bring it back to look at the guys that she's had sex with?
"It doesn't matter if they have a sister or not" Obviously, it doesn't matter if they have a sister or not!
That's not the thing.
It's that she would like for him to have a sister, because that's like a commonality.
He knows how to be around women, and he knows how to be respectful towards women.
Hopefully.
Hopefully he respects his sister and treats them well.
And she wants to hang out with his sister and vibe with his sister,
As in being in a relationship with them.
It would be kind of weird if she was just looking for a one-night stand, and then hang out with his sister.
Imagine meeting a guy and being like, "Okay but do you have a sister?"
And then- then you sleep with him and then you never talk to him ever again, but you become best friends with the sister.
That's a power move, actually.
I actually respect that.
Sleep with a guy to get to his sister? I respect it.
Not typically a driving factor to hooking up with someone.
Uh, she is, in fact, talking about things that she likes in a man that aren't a necessity,
In order to be in a long-term relationship with.
Obviously, it doesn't matter if she's just looking to have sex, as you are implying.
Not everyone is just out there looking for people to hook up with.
Such a green flag if he doesn't try and kiss you on the first date.
- So, this one is pure utter horseshit. Do not listen to this advice.
This man gives me a headache.
Like actually can not stand him.
If anyone, doesn't matter their gender, if someone tells you they don't want you to make a move on the first date,
If they tell you they don't want to kiss you on the first date, listen to them.
Otherwise, it's assault.
Don't violate consent.
Don't do that. That's f_cked up.
Don't do it.
If she says she doesn't want to kiss you, don't kiss her.
Simple rule. Very simple rule.
That she may say she wants a guy who doesn't kiss her on the first date,
But I guarantee you, if you look at her history and the guys that she's actually banged and dated-
Everything always comes back here.
"If you look at the guys that she's actually banged or dated-" You don't know her dating history.
For all you know, she's had like one long-term partner.
She might have had no long-term partners. She might be a virgin.
You don't f_cking know.
Why- Why do you just like reflect and project your entire life story onto everyone?
If you don't make a move on the first date- Now, I'm not saying you have to bang the girl,
But if you don't at least try to kiss her, she's gonna think that you have no balls.
And she's gonna lose respect for you.
I can tell you in my whole dating life, out of all the girls that I've never- I did not wind up kissing on the first date,
I got a grand total of zero Day Twos.
No. Just not true at all.
And maybe because you are actively out there looking for hookups rather than relationships,
The vibe is going to be that you kiss on the first date.
Because you're both looking for something casual.
If you're actually looking for a relationship, people might not want to kiss on the first date.
You are out looking for two different things.
It makes sense that a lot of the dates you go on, you kiss on the first date,
Because you're looking for something casual and so that's how it starts.
It's a date revolved around hooking up, so kissing on the first date makes sense.
If you're out there looking for something long term...
Maybe you don't want to do that because you want to get to know them better before you do anything like that.
It makes a lot of sense. You just don't seem to understand what a relationship is.
And I'm not saying that's for everyone.
If you want a relationship, you can kiss on the first date, you can have sex on the first date.
Like, there's no rules around it, obviously.
It makes sense based on the relationships that you're looking for that you would,
But don't apply that to everyone.
Freaking weirdo.
Number three, if he wears jeans instead of khakis.
I can't explain it, it's just a fact.
- This one is also largely irrelevant.
It's gonna make close to no difference whether you wear jeans or khakis.
No one said it's a deal breaker.
She literally said it's a green light if he wears jeans instead of khakis. That's not...
A deal-breaker if he wears khakis, it's just that she prefers...
Jeans.
That's- That's literally what she said. You just reiterated her point.
You just mansplained it, effectively.
Is you just took her point and said it again, and because you're a man who's a dating expert and knows women better.
You're right, she's wrong.
[Editing error- Audio from the video playing]
I don't think there's ever been a history- like a time in her life,
Where she looked at a guy like, You know, you're really hot but you're just wearing khaki.
So I can't bang you tonight.
F_cking take a shot every time he says the word "bang" in reference to a random woman's dating history that he knows nothing about.
You would have alcohol poisoning by the end of this video.
I never need to hear the word "bang" ever again in my life.
[Cat, off screen] Also, it's such a weird way to phrase it. - Bang?
Yeah - Yeah.
I've never once used "bang" in reference to having sex, ever.
[Cat, off screen] - My green flag is not using the word "bang".
My- My red flag is using the word "bang" in reference to sleeping with someone.
It's so aggressive. And also "bang" implies that it is very aggressive and very short-lasting.
And I don't like either of those things.
Bang! Done!
See? It's not- It's not really appealing.
Oh! If he sends voice memos on snapchat. If you send me a voice memo...
So, this is the first piece of good advice that she gave you.
Uh, but it's also like kind of twisted in with bad advice.
The bad part is Snapchat. Don't f_cking use Snapchat.
This is the one time, the one- I hate that I agree with him.
But on this one- one point, he's right.
Snapchat? Red flag.
Why would you use Snapchat?
If you use Snapchat, I'm sorry for insulting you,
But like, you use Snapchat, so red flag.
Also, when people ask for your Snapchat, if it's like on Tinder or setting like that, never do it.
Never do it. Don't do it. It never ends well.
I love me a man who is cute ugly. I love it.
- I don't even know what the f_ck that means.
Yeah, no. What?
Can someone tell me what cute ugly means?
Does anyone actually understand that?
Because, usually I understand sh_t like this, when you use terms like that.
But cute ugly is one I don't get.
Can- Do- Have you figured out what it means? Cute ugly?
[Cat, off-screen] - Uhhh, not really.
I understand- Even like- Say- We say some ridiculous sh_t to describe how people look.
The way K-pop stans describe sh_t is f_cking- We sound insane.
[Cat, off-screen] - We see a photo, we go "I want to eat him."
See a photo of someone cute? I want to eat him.
That's not a normal thing to say.
[Cat, offscreen] We associate them with like - Yeah, everything.
You know the threads of like, oh- - Stray Kids as shampoo bottles
Are we okay? - No!
That one thread of "Talk about western artists like you talk about K-pop idols"
Really showed how f_cking insane K-pop Twitter is.
- All the ones of Drake.
But cute ugly I don't get.
-What was that one thing I once said? I want to eat my arm but not in the Hyunjin way.
One night, when you were hungry and we were out for dinner, you're like "I want to eat my arm and not in the Hyunjin way"
Are we okay?
The amount that they look good and the response is "I'm gonna eat my arm" is unhealthy.
Cute ugly? I don't know what that means.
-Uh, cute but not conventionally attractive?
Maybe? Cute but not conventionally attractive?
Yeah, it's like "dad bod" kind of thing? Maybe? -Yeah, that thing. Still cute.
I think? Yeah, that makes sense.
"Cute ugly." Like, you're either attractive or not.
It's like saying "love me a guy who's fat skinny" Like, you're either fat or you're skinny, you can't be both.
Well, you can be in the middle.
Unimportant... but he was wrong.
And I had to point that out because I'm sure if I said something wrong, he would point it out.
So f_ck him. -He just heard us say that we were gonna eat our arms, so I don't think he gets much of a thing here.
Also, sorry I'm interrupting uh, just to point out real quick,
That he wears the same outfit in every video that he makes.
And then also makes videos about how style is really important in track- in attracting women.
And I think that's really funny.
That was really unimportant and irrelevant to this video.
Um, but I was looking at him and then it was funny to me, so...
Huge green flag, if his name has more than four letters.
I love this one. I love this one so much.
His name is more than four letters? Green flag.
If your name is less than four letters? Uninterested.
It's brilliant. I love it. I support it. I'm sorry, Chan.
Also completely irrelevant.
You can have a short name, you can have a long name, you can have medium name.
It's going to make close to no difference.
Obviously! My guy-
I don't think he knows what this game is.
I don't think- I don't think he understood the game.
Green flag. This- Like, green flag, uh...
Red flag, sort of meme...
Was not 100% serious.
A lot of people just taking the piss and making jokes and saying just kind of random and ridiculous sh_t.
Such as this.
Obviously, it doesn't make a f_cking difference.
She's still gonna date someone who has a less than four letter name.
She's not gonna hear your name is like, Sam, and be like "Sorry, we're not compatible." That's not...
It's not gonna happen.
It's- It's- It's low key a joke.
Just take a breath.
Breathe in, breathe out.
It's okay.
His name is Alex, so he feels personally attacked.
He's like, "Well I slept with women and my name is only four letters long! So f_ck you! It doesn't even matter!"
Calm down.
This isn't about you.
Don't worry, I don't care.
As you saw on this list, pretty much all the things that she mentioned were completely irrelevant things.
They might make like, 1% of a difference,
But they're not going to be the things that make the difference between her going home with you and her, you know, turning you down.
Literally, my guy, just like take a moment to just think.
Just take a moment to think and realize it wasn't that deep.
And this trend wasn't that deep and calm down.
Also, this video wasn't about going home with someone and, uh, to quote you, "banging" them. It was about...
Things that she looks for in a guy to be in a relationship with.
So, it does make a little bit more of a difference.
That's that on that one. I was gonna watch a second video, but I've been here for half an hour,
So I feel like I probably don't have the time to do that.
So, if you want a part two of this, if you want me to watch another one of his videos,
Then leave a like, comment, let me know.
I've gotta get better engagement on these videos, because you love me, and I love you and
Yes. Also, while I'm talking about that. Don't forget to hit subscribe.
I would love to see you around more as I'm sure you would love to see my face more, because I'm great
Anyway, thank you so much for watching. I hope that you enjoyed this video.
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I hope that you enjoy the rest of your day.
Stay safe. Keep fighting. I love you.