When are you gonna get it?
Nothing you've ever seen is original.
Pop-culture is a neverending game...
...of musical chairs.
What was once in books...
...is now in comics.
What was in comics is in movies.
What was movies is TV.
TV is games.
And WHITE IS THE NEW ASIAN!
Everything is a thing from before, just a little different.
Except for this channel...
...which is COMPLETELY ORIGINAL.
So when you see a new viral video...
...of a wise old man demonstrating a magical feat of telekinesis....
...consider that you might just be looking at the oldest trick in the book.
So old, I covered it in my pre-Internet days!
*rocking VHS intro plays*
*magical hand wave *
Invisible thread is an extremely thin nylon filament.
And a delicious way to WOW up your conjuring to the next level.
You can pick up a reel of invisible thread...
...from your local magic shop.
I stripped my own from this pair of black pantyhose...
...generously donated by my grandmother.
*rocking transition*
The key to an effective levitation is the rigging of the thread.
You don't wanna just dangling your object...
...from above like a cat toy. *meow*
What if instead...
...we attached one end of the thread to our body...
...and the other to a nearby structure...
...like a wall or another structure.
*magical card&silk vomiting*
Allow me to SHOELACEtrate.
One end goes on my lapel...
...and the other...
...on this cardboard cut-out of Ang Lee's latest triumph...
...Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.
A bit of magician's wax...
...and not the kind I use to stay dolphin-smooth...
...is enough to attach the item I want to levitate...
...to the thread.
*fiery transition*
And now, for the moment of truth!
Or should I say...
...MAGIC.
Suspending the object from 2 points...
...reduces the dangling motion.
I can make it float higher or lower...
...by subtly moving my body in and out.
And I can even wave my hands around the cup...
...in a tubular fashion.
TUBULAR!
*not awkward demonstration*
*slightly more awkward demonstration*
*a bit too awkward demonstration*
Alas...
...the age of magic trick training tapes is long over.
Today we care about real world unscripted human drama.
Like a guy about to be hit by a train...
...getting heroically rescued by a railworker in this brand new video.
It's mute.
It's choppy.
And it's a terrible composite...
...of a train with no shadow...
...but whether or not it's fake...
...at least it's new, right?
Well, let me tell you a story...
...about a young man...
...a student...
...in the art of cinematographic storytelling...
...at the turn of the century.
The 21st century.
In exchange for a degree...
...of questionable legitimacy...
...from a college that no longer exists.
He directed a supernaturally themed short film...
...about troubled teens channeling their frustration...
...into writing in a special class.
And the climax of the story...
...the evil bad guy...
...is gruesomely dispatched by a train.
(...) Spoiler alert!
The young filmmaker's effort earned him and his crew...
...the coveted "Best Thesis Film" trophy at his school.
It was made of acrylic, didn't have his name on it...
...and it would be the ONLY award he'd receive...
...for the 15 years...
...until a subsidiary of a search engine company would send him...
...a plaque also without his real name on it.
But it inflated his ego enough...
...to think that his friends would enjoy a "special edition" of his college film.
A version with director's commentary....
...behind the scenes footage...
...and breakdowns of his groundbreaking visual effects.
Thankfully...
...his cartoonish arrogance back then...
...will save me a little bit of editing work today.
First...
...a static shot is composed...
...and the camera is locked off securely.
The human action is filmed...
...safely, without a train.
Then...
...all the actors and crew vacate the area...
...and the passing of a REAL train is captured...
...at the same angle.
The two shots are timed against each other...
...to depict the near miss or a hit...
...and composited together...
...as seamlessly as the rototools, patience and talent allow.
Of course...
...it's the little things that make a shot special.
Will the angle work...
...for revealing a character on the other side of the tracks...
...after the train has passed?
Or will you have to digitally shorten your train...
...to just 4 cars...
...to accomodate a clueless actor...
...who runs accross the tracks WAY TOO EARLY.
Will this visual effect be viewed...
...in the context of a dramatic scene...
...in a well written narrative...
...that only a handful of people will ever see?
Or will it be a pointless, artless youtube hoax...
...that's destined to go viral.
In other words...
...is it better to fail in originality...
...then to succeed in imitation?
Wait...
Herman Melville said that.
Damn it!
Can't I have ONE ORIGINAL THOUGHT?
*woosh*
*outro music plays*