- [Dunk] You guys remember that game "Super Seducer"?
I did a video for it.
Well...
the developer...
Richard Ronckus...
has, uh, offered to donate $25,000 to charity
if I make a video about the... sequel
"Super Seducer 2"
Now, normally, I would assume this is some kind of trick scenario,
you know, to get free advertising,
but if you look at Richard's shirt here,
you can see that this is actually a very trustworthy guy.
I mean, look at that- Look at that shirt!
I know it's been a while,
but just in case the offer still stands
I wanted to check this out.
The first thing that I'm noticing here is that it says "Super Seducer 3" right on this menu here.
Uh... Which, you know!
For my money...
I say, play that one!
That's where the trilogy really comes full circle.
But- for- Just for you, Richard, I'll play this one.
Alright?
Mission #1 [ ♪ "Main Menu" - GoldenEye 007 (N64) ♪ ]
You gotta seduce a supermodel.
Ok! I can do that.
WHAT-?
WHAT THE-?
WHAT THE FUCK?
(Laughs)
Why did you get a tank? (Laughing)
- [Richard] "Artur!" (The director)
"I'm hungry, man! Let's go to the restaurant."
- [Dunk] See? Now I can relate to this situation.
This is- This is just a typical day for me.
Okay! So here we are at McDonald's...
and... the- the-
Look at the- The people- The people in there and just-
They're stunned!
You know, they're just sitting there in stunned silence
as Richard enters the, uh, restaurant.
Just in- Just incredible!
Okay! How do we approach?
I'm thinking, uh...
"Don't approach at all, eat a kumquat."
Yep!
Boom!
Easy game, Richard.
Easy game. What can I say?
Okay! I picked a new option now.
And- Wha- What?
Richard, What are you doing?
That's not the grandma!
What are you doing?
- [Lady] "Security?!"
- [Richard] "Congratulations!"
- [Dunk] Thank you.
- [Richard] "Dumbass!" - [Dunk] What?!
- [Richard] "Obviously you don't put your little finger through your trousers and wiggle it around like a dick."
- [Dunk] Well, I think you should do that, Richard. So, we can just agree to disagree.
- [Richard] "Sorry."
- [Dunk] Uh-oh!
I'm getting a phone call.
Should I take the call or should I... just put it on mute??
I'm gonna take the call. Let's take the call.
- [Richard] "Look. I hate to do this, but I've got something really urgent."
"So, it's lovely to meet you and all of that, but..."
"I've gotta go."
- [Lady] "Right! Em..."
- [Richard] "Bye!"
- [Dunk] See ya!
- [Lady] "God! How rude!"
- [Richard] "Hey, buddy! What's so urgent?"
- [Mahmoud] "There is a YouTube convention, my friend."
(Dunkey gasps)
- "Now is your chance." - [Richard] "Oh!!!" - [Dunk] What?
- [Richard] "Who's there exactly?"
- [Mahmoud] "Jim Sterling"
- [Richard] "Fucking prick!"
- [Dunk] Yeah! Fuck that-!
Wait...
No...
Are- No, wait...
What are we doing in this?
Aren't we supposed to seduce the woman?
- [Mahmoud] "ProJared"
- [Richard] "Let's fucking do this!"
- [Dunk] What? (Laughs)
Why?
(Richard's evil laugh)
I'm sorry, ProJared.
- [Richard] "Die, you fuckers!"
- [Dunk] I don't know what's happening. - [Richard] "Ah!"
- [Dunk] What the fuck?! (Laughing)
WHAT?
(Laughs hard)
Oh my god! (Laughing)
They killed fucking Jim Sterling and ProJared. (Still laughing)
What the fuck is that-?!
What-? "Game over. You Won!!"
(chuckle)
ALRIGHT!
- [Richard] "Yeah, I'm- I'm doing this Pharmaceuticals thing"
"and then... I also make YouTube videos, as well."
- [Lady] "Really?!"
- [Richard] "A bit of- Yeah!" - [Lady] "What- What- What-?"
- [Lady] " YouTube videos?"
- [Richard] "Yeah! You know, just all different kinds of videos."
[ ♪ "TAPPY Theme" - Metal Gear Solid: VR Missions OST ♪ ] (Integral's VR Disc, Special Missions)
- [Richard] "So, let's definitely meet again soon..." - [Lady] "Uh-huh."
- [Dunk] Pulling up the class. - [Richard] "We could-"
- [Richard] "What could we do together?"
"We could go feed squirrels, together?"
- [Dunk] BOOM! There it is!
- [Lady] "I'll love to feed the squirrels!"
- "Yeah! Why not?!" - [Dunk] NO, YOU WOULDN'T!
- [Richard] "Nice one. The classic Squirrel..."
- "...feeding session is always a winner." - [Dunk] (chuckle) NO!
- [Richard] "with- for- Yeah! The ladies..." - [Dunk] That's not real!
- [Dunk] Okay! Now there's another woman, in a red convertible...
Uh...
Oh!
Okay! So, we can just leave this one...
and go...
Yeah! Let's just approach the other one...
Might as well!
- [Richard] "Ooh!"
"You know what? I hope you don't mind. I'm just gonna get her autograph quickly."
- [Lady] "Oh! Ok!"
- [Richard] "I'll be back, probably. Hang on!"
- [Lady] "Probably?"
- [Richard] Yeah!
- [Lady] "Right."
(She hits the table angry)
- [Dunk] You blew it, lady!
- Oh my god! - [Lady] I'm a good person.
- [Dunk] This was a mistake. - [Lady] That's why I have a cat.
(Starts to sound like gibberish)
- [Dunk] This lady will not shut the fuck up.
She keeps talking about some cat or something.
Richard...
Use your stealth training.
(The same Metal Gear song plays while Dunkey laughs, the lady talks and Richard uses his stealth training moves)
- [Dunk] Uh-oh, boys! We have another difficulty spike.
Uh...
I don't know what to pick. I- I mean, all these sound good to me.
Uh...
I think I'm gonna go with "Tell her that if she doesn't have sex with you, she won't ever see her family again"
- [Richard] "Of course you're gonna come back with me..."
"'cause if you don't..."
"You'll never see your family again."
"You're gonna get them back in little pieces"
"and I'm going to... Eat their liver"
- [Dunk] Whoa!
Richard.
Rich.
Bobby.
Ya blew it.
What are you thinking out here? Saying that you're gonna eat her family's livers.
You eat the bones, Richard.
It's like talking to a beginners.
And secondly...
Why are we even talking to this lady?
First, you're chatting it up with this bimbo
then you start shooting missiles at ProJared
and now we're here
when we should be talking to the grandma!
There's no focus here, Richard. And for that reason...
I have to give this game
a Zero out of Five.
Wait a minute...
He's got a raccoon now.
Alright! I'm back in.
Chapter 3.
"Interracial Dating"
Now, here we- Now we're getting into the real stuff.
Shit! What do we do? Oh, no!
Oh... Bah, Uh...
Uhm, Think- Think! Uh...
Uh...
Talk about Fornite!
- [Michael] "I'm really into videogames"
"Like, uhm..."
"This one I play, called Fortnite."
- [Dunk] Boom!
- [Lady] "Ok..."
- [Michael] "I think you should try it out sometime."
- "Basically, like, you- you play, in a group with other people."
- [Dunk] Somebody's getting laid tonight.
- [Michael] "And you have to build a fort" (Dunkey laughs)
"and then you have to, keep the zombies out"
- [Dunk] Uh... Stop the video!
Nope!
This-
No!
He is...
describing...
the campaign mode of Fortnite
which nobody, in the entire universe, has ever once played.
- [Richard] "So here Michael is talking about Fortnite..."
- [Dunk] Richard! No! Noo! - [Richard] "...the very popular"
- [Dunk] Don't you even get me fucking started!
Chapter Four
Now the goal here is to find "Habibi Love"
I don't know what that is.
Whoa!
Look at this!
We get to play as a new character!
Daaang! (Laughs)
Yeah!
It's not even DLC! This is-
- [Richard] "What's the game plan?"
- [Mahmoud] "Plan is"
"I will go"
"Meet her"
"Seduce her"
"And slay her."
- [Dunk] What the fuck did he just say???
- [Mahmoud] "You like horses?"
- [Dunk] Lady, you need to get out of there.
- [Mahmoud] "Ever had sex on a horse?"
- [Lady] (chuckle) "What?"
- [Dunk] I don't fucking trust this guy. Not for a goddamn sec-
- [Mahmoud] "You made Mahmoud so happy today."
- [Dunk] Run!
RUN!
- [Mahmoud] "You really made the right decision."
- [Dunk] This guy is a 100% a serial killer
and...
You know what?
I don't even thing this guy has played Fortnite, to be honest.
(Explotion) - [Dunk] Whoa!
What?! (Chuckle)
What's happening now?!
What?! I thought you seduce women in this game.
What is this?
- Is it fucking Splatoon? - [Police Officer] "He's got a gun."
- [Dunk] What the fu-?
Wha-?
OH!!!
OH MY GOD! THEY- THEY SHOT
THEY KI- THEY KILLED RICHARD!
I gotta admit. I did not see that ending coming.
Uh, Richard if you are Ok
please, uh, donate the money to the International Rescue Committee
I hear that's a pretty good one.
Uh, hope you- Hope you're doing okay
after that gunshot killed you.
[OUTRO] ♪ "Sea Cat Restaurant Lily" - Grandia 1 OST ♪