My name is Amara and I am here in Monte Sahaja.
My seva is in the reception team.
We take care of all the people
who want to come and visit Sahaja, however that is,
a day visit, or they come and stay for a bit longer.
We facilitate their being here from invitation to arrival,
and we take care of them from there.
It is a big privilege, actually,
to meet everybody who does come here
and some who come at different times.
Sometimes people come back
and it is a really, really beautiful seva.
Through being on this team,
so many things have happened through Guruji's guidance.
There have been a few times
where he had to guide us on how to be, because we started from zero.
There was no reception team,
someone had a phone and they were the reception.
Whoever was at the end of the phone was reception.
Eventually, as the ashram started to expand more, it was obvious that
we needed an actual team, or a place called 'Reception'.
So we were growing all the time, and still are,
but there were some really powerful ways that Guruji guided us
that I remember in particular.
One thing he has said a number of times,
'Whoever comes, you just welcome them.
Whoever comes here, welcome them first.
Even if a thief comes, first you welcome them,
you make them a cup of tea, and then let's see.'
That really struck me, because it is so generous,
and so much compassion; this is his spirit.
'Whoever comes, you just welcome them',
really encouraging us to meet people in that way.
And for some of us it is very natural,
but some of us, we had to learn in different ways,
and from his example, just seeing how he meets people
and how natural he is with them.
What brought you to Satsang with Mooji?
In a way I feel, I have always been looking for this,
for something, for as long as I can remember.
But I guess, the most poignant moment was,
my sister died when she was 21 and I was 23.
And I remember it was such a powerful time,
and everything was turned upside down.
I remember feeling as though
you are walking along with your head down, all of a sudden you trip,
you start to look around and ask questions, 'What is all this about?'
Like when you experience the death of someone very close.
From then I started reading books.
She was reading a book on Buddhism, I found it and started to read it.
In that moment it just became very important.
It was like the seed was planted,
it is like the darshan, the blessing of death, was so, so strong.
From that moment, I was always looking for something and asking.
Everything changed!
About a month later, I was on YouTube and it was Guruji.
Immediately, when I watched this satsang,
as soon as I saw him, I just knew,
'This is it. This is what I have been looking for.'
I can't describe the feeling, but it was just this knowing, 'Yes, finally!'
Because from reading all of these other things,
I had the impression, and I was quite depressed about it,
that it would take lifetimes to find out who I am.
I just felt so bad.
I felt like, 'Why would God put this longing inside me so strongly,
and then it might not even happen in this lifetime?'
It just felt like, 'It can't be! It can't be!'
I remember one of the first things that Guruji said in this satsang was,
'Who you are, is here, it is now. You are already It.'
From the minute he said it, I knew it to be true.
I experienced it in myself the first time I heard him say it.
At the same time, I don't know how to say it,
at a dynamic level, there are things that are being revealed,
like old ways, habits and things that I can see that
are gradually being exposed and are falling away,
that were seemingly blocking that Truth.
But I can't not be who I am.
That is the greatest gift that he has given to me,
to show me who I am, and that I am.
But yes, on a dynamic level, these things are happening,
and, actually, there is so much joy in that.
Which of Mooji's pointings resonates with you?
Everything.
There is a maturing over time of what I could hear
and what I could use of what Guruj was saying.
From the moment I heard him, when I saw him on YouTube,
I just felt like, I know him,
I felt like I have always known him.
And everything he said just resonated and was so true.
In the beginning I used to pause sometimes,
as I didn't understand everything. I'd search Wikipedia,
look up the meaning of a word, something simple like that.
But after a while that just relaxed
and I could see that everything he is sharing with me,
sometimes I am getting it in a different way,
there is a different kind of understanding and it is just that ...
Because it is not that he is really giving you something,
it is more like he is removing the ignorance.
He is removing the ignorance and the concepts and ideas
that have built up throughout your life,
and just revealing to you what you are already.
So, over the years of being in satsang,
the answer to your question has changed.
In one moment it would be one strong thing that he says,
which really resonates and I am looking with those eyes.
But the most powerful now is just,
'Where am I looking from and how am I looking at this?
What is my position?
Is it a really narrow, stuck, personal way of looking at things?'
That is very clear in so many ways,
the feedback when you are moving from that place.
It's just that he always points to the highest,
which is the truth of who you are.
And to come to that space, like he does in 'The Invitation',
to just come to that neutral space, to that neutrality.
For me, that is the highest.
From there, when I am in my Truth, then everything is good.
And if something else is going on,
or if there is some problem, or suffering,
then I know I am not looking at this from the right place.
I need to just sit, not even sit,
but just check, 'Where am I looking at this from?
Is there a shape? Am I in some kind of personal shape now
and suffering this situation, or this experience?'
It is very quick and then, 'Aah!' You just keep remembering.
And for me that is the highest, just to stay as the Self,
to stay as my Self.
Do you have any desires?
There are very few, less and less.
There is just this sense of desirelessness,
which previously would have felt really dull and boring.
And maybe it was even a concept that I had
about what it means to become awake, that you lose all your desires,
all the colour drains out of your life, you are just like a stone Buddha.
'I mean, its nice, but really, is that what you want?'
More and more, I see that there is actually nothing that I want.
Sometimes, if I go to a restaurant, I might want this cake over this cake,
or I'd probably want both of them, like these kinds of things.
But I can say truly, that there are no desires.
It is like, life is just so sweet in its simplicity.
Also, like I mentioned earlier,
with this darshan of death in my life ...
I have experienced the death
of a few very close family members and friends,
and actually, even recently,
a very close friend in the sangha died, left her body.
It has just been the most powerful reminder
of how precious this life is,
and that I don't know anything about tomorrow. I don't know anything.
I don't know what's coming, I don't know how life will unfold.
And it has really brought me again back into this presence,
into this moment now and the richness of that.
I don't know, this sense of having desires,
it is just, 'What could I want more than just to be here,
and just to know the truth of my Self?'
I feel like, what I was looking for, I found it now.
And it is so, so precious.
I have heard Guruji describe it as a precious gem,
and that is what it feels like.
So for me, it is something that just happened naturally.
Everything outside, like I can go to the most beautiful place
and see the most beautiful scenery,
or be in the most beautiful environment,
but it doesn't touch the beauty of what is inside myself
and of the truth of who I am.
I don't know if I am explaining that properly.
So from there, I found what I was looking for,
and there are no desires,
I don't have any plans or desires except to just ...
I feel this life, actually, is just in service to Truth and to God.
And that is not a desire, it feels like that is how it is,
and that just feels like the highest.
I am just available and I am just here for that. Yes.
Is there anything else that you would like to share?
I love you. [laughter]
Just be ...
I read recently, and it came a lot after.
Like I said, our sangha sister Clare died,
and one of the first things that came very powerfully
and very strongly was, 'Be shamelessly in love'.
I think they are words from a poem.
And just be shamelessly in love.
Just love and just be ...
I don't even know if that is what I would say,
but like, right now,
just love each other. Just love.
Don't stop until you find the Truth of who you are,
and don't settle for anything less!
Just go all the way home!
Don't take your eyes away from God, from your Self.
Stay with Him and all is well.
A good friend of Amara's had recently passed away.
As we were finishing the interview, a powerful sharing about death arose.
I could speak first about the impact it had for me.
I mentioned before that my sister died, then my father died,
and then a good friend died,
all within a short space of time, a few years.
That was before I met Guruji.
Actually, when we were with Don in Ireland,
I told him that the experience of death,
before meeting Guruji, and after,
was just completely different, so, so completely different,
because of what he has given to me, what he has shown me.
But I remember, when Guruji called us to tell us,
and really, the first reaction was of complete shock and disbelief.
I had no idea where the conversation was going,
I wasn't expecting it and I was so, so shocked.
But very soon after, already there was a release of the feeling of pain,
the pain of knowing that I won't see her physically any more.
There were no real thoughts around it, just this pain of knowing
that physically she is gone now, that she has passed.
That pain was able to very freely come out,
I was just crying and crying, for a while it came out very freely.
But at the same time I was absolutely feeling
her total joy and her presence!
And it was like ... It was just ... It still is ...
It's like she is absolutely here, because I feel her.
I know she is here. Where else can she be?
I feel her, it is so tangible.
I feel her darshan was very powerful for all the sangha,
because she died right before a retreat, a silent Zmar retreat.
My own experience, also of observing the people around, was that,
it just really brought everybody inside.
And it was a very reflective time.
This whole retreat, actually, was a very silent one,
a very powerful retreat.
I have spoken to so many people,
some who never really interacted with her,
of their experience of her death, of her passing,
and what it meant for them.
Everybody was powerfully affected by it in one way or another.
I think everybody that I have spoken to has said, 'I can really feel her.
I feel now I am meeting her.'
One sister said, 'I never really spoke with her,
but I feel like, in her passing, somehow,
I have been introduced to her'.
One of the first thoughts that came to me was ...
It was very busy just before she passed,
it was like I was waiting to be with her.
It's not true, because I did meet her, I met her a lot as well,
and we had some beautiful moments together.
But also there was still this sense that,
'We have time. In a few days, when everything quietens down,
I am going to go and spend some time with her.'
It felt like, 'No, you can't live like that any more,
because every moment is so precious'.
If someone is with you and you have a chance to be with them,
you feel that now is the moment to be with this one.
If something practical is waiting, don't choose that over this moment.
I don't know if I can explain it in words,
but something was very deeply changed in that, I hope it was,
to really cherish every moment with each other,
because we don't know about tomorrow.
There is even more richness and gratitude for this life,
the little things, and every moment is so fresh.
I feel her all the time, she is here,
because I had the same experience when my grandmother passed away.
We were on the bed with her as she was passing.
As she was taking her last breath I held her hand in my hands,
we were looking in each other's eyes and she left her body.
It was such a beautiful privilege to be there with her.
The same thing happened where it just felt like
this explosion of light and her complete presence.
I kept saying to my brother Roshan,
'I feel full of Nana, like she is inside me,
like she is not here separate anymore,
she is in me and I feel her presence absolutely'.
And that has never changed. And I know it's because
of knowing the Truth of who I am.
And I know the truth of who she is, who they are, and so that's it.
Physically, I don't see them anymore,
but they are still here,
and they are actually guiding me in their own way, inside.
It feels almost like the relationship
is even more intimate now, and I am very grateful for that.