There will always be something that feels 100% aligned to what you're meant to do
and you have to not give up until you find it.
Hey guys!
So I just wanted to do a casual vlog from my car.
I just did a photoshoot today.
It was super fun and on the way home – it's sunset time, so I'm like,
"You know what? Why not just vlog in the car?"
So I want to talk about how I figured out what to do with my life.
And since it is graduation season and I recently launched the Create Your Dream Life course,
I feel like it's the perfect time to talk about this.
By the way, if you haven't heard about my course, I'll link it down below so that you can check it out.
I'm super excited about it.
But personally, when I was 21, straight out of college, I was literally depressed
because I didn't know what to do with my life, and I've always been a good student.
I knew how to get good grades and do well in school because there was a syllabus.
There was homework and guidelines, and I felt like I had the rules set out.
I knew how to work within the rules.
But when life happened, I literally was like, "Oh my god, there's no rules to life.
It's too open-ended that I don't know what to do with my life."
And I was asking my teachers, asking friends and anyone in a mentor position to me,
"Tell me how to get there. How can I become successful?"
I would have a lot of talks and ask people, "How do I figure out my life?"
And people just laughed at me like, "There's no rules.
There's no step-by-step process to becoming successful or doing what you want to do.
So you just gotta go figure it out."
And so I was really frustrated during that time,
because there was no step-by-step thing for me to follow.
And the way I figured it out was: I listened to my heart.
I listened to the things that I truly loved to do, the things that brought me joy,
because my whole dream life is: I want to make a living, an abundant living,
but also doing something that I love and doing something that matters.
I really had this deep desire to do something positive and make a positive impact on the world.
So that was a really important criteria to me.
And when I was working at advertising agencies on all these office jobs,
I just didn't feel like it was meaningful work.
I felt like I was a little ant in this big corporation that –
I was just helping other people make money, and it wasn't meaningful to me.
Thus, if you don't know my story, I dove headfirst into a creative path where I pursued music.
I thought I wanted to be an artist in music, and I made YouTube videos, music videos.
I came out with an album, and at the same time, I was like, "Ugh, I love performing," so I tried acting.
I did a bunch of auditions, put myself out there in LA.
And I got some hosting, freelance gigs.
And then on the side, I did marketing and made videos for a food festival in LA.
So I did a lot of fun jobs, and honestly, the way I figured it out was a lot of trial and error.
I tried music, and it was fun.
I performed a lot, but over time, I hated the part of traveling and performing place to place.
I really disliked packing all my music equipment and taking it to the venue
and then setting everything up with my laptop, keyboard, everything.
It was just a pain.
And I realized that, as much as I love music, I don't like the idea of touring
and moving from place to place physically, and lugging all this musical gear.
And a part of me knew that I didn't want to grow old doing that.
So even though I loved music, I knew that that career was not for me
because I didn't love every aspect of that career.
It wasn't really aligned with my dream life.
It's only when you actually put yourself into these situations,
take action in the direction that you think is right for you, that the truth will reveal itself to you.
The truth will reveal itself in a way that you'll be like, "Oh, I don't really like this aspect.
Hm, this doesn't really align to my dream life, so maybe this is not the right path for me."
And so you try it and then you take another turn, and then you try something else.
And that was really my way of doing it.
And along the way, I read a ton of books on self help and how to be successful,
how to have that positive mindset, how to overcome your fears, how to beat resistance,
all of those books.
I read so many books on creativity and how to be an artist because a lot of it is your mindset.
I've listed my favorite books, I've shared my favorite books that have helped me in my journey, but it's a lot.
I would say, figuring out what I wanted to do is half trial-and-error
of actually taking action in the directions that I thought I wanted to do,
and then getting feedback from those paths whether it's things that I realized I did like.
And then the other half is actually building the skills, building the habits,
the knowledge to actually be a successful person in that field,
because I think knowing how to do it is one way.
And then having the stamina, the habits, the mindset to do it is another thing,
because most people, they know how to do it,
but they don't have the commitment or the level of strength, a very –
what's that called – mental toughness and grit to make it,
because once you know what you want to do,
the second part is "Okay, how am I actually going to be successful at this?"
So that took me a few years to figure out.
But I will tell you that, after a few years of trying all these random creative projects,
a part of me thought that I gave up on YouTube
because I had been doing a music YouTube channel for,
I don't know, five or so years and it wasn't really moving.
It wasn't growing. It was stagnant.
But I would spend so much time watching YouTubers
like Jenn Im, Michelle Phan, and I envied their lifestyle.
And a part of me was like, "Why do I envy their lifestyle so much?
I thought I wanted to be a musician.
I thought I wanted to be an actress," or something else.
And I had to just be honest with myself:
"Girl, even though you're failing at your YouTube channel in music right now,
you still want to be a YouTuber and you still want to create content on YouTube."
Just everything about the content creator lifestyle, I realized, aligned with what I wanted,
because I could be creative, I could make videos that impact people and inspire people in a positive way,
and it could be time-independent, location-independent.
I had a lot of freedom because I want to be able to travel and work from anywhere in the world.
And I want to be able to wake up and sleep whenever I want.
And that's another reason why I couldn't really go into any traditional entertainment position,
because even if you're an actress, waking up?
Those hours are tough.
I don't want to wake up and work 12-hour days, 6 AM to 6 PM, 6 PM to 6 AM.
You guys don't understand.
Hours for people in entertainment is intense.
So I knew I wanted to form my own hours.
So it was understanding my guidelines for what my dream life looks like,
and then finding a path that filled as much of those guidelines as possible.
And for me, it ended up being: my own boss, creating content.
Honestly, when I started Lavendaire, nobody took me seriously.
I mean, I was like 23.
How can you be 23, still struggling in life, struggling to make money,
struggling to figure out what you're supposed to do,
and trying to teach people how to live their life?
It was a weird paradox, but I believed in my vision
and I believed in myself, and I knew that I was going to succeed.
I had to have that strong belief because in my mind,
I was making these videos as if I was documenting my journey to success.
Honestly, the people around me at the time just thought I was ridiculous
and they didn't really understand what self help and personal growth was until I just did it.
And I'll tell you: Even a year into doing my channel, I didn't grow that much.
I grew, I don't know, 1,000 subscribers in one year?
But the impact I felt from people who did comment on my videos
and people who did email me during that first year,
I knew for sure that I was on the right path.
It was an intuitive feeling that "Oh my god, this is actually helping people.
This is actually benefiting people in a real way.
And it doesn't matter if I'm not making any money off of this.
I feel like I matter, and I feel like I'm doing something that I really enjoy."
I think once you land on the right path, you will know.
Intuitively, you will feel it.
Sometimes you don't know that it's right for you until you get there
because sometimes you think you know and then you try it and it turns out it's not the right path.
That's how music was for me.
I really was so "I'm going to be an artist. I want to be on SoundCloud.
I want to blow up my SoundCloud and perform and do all this stuff," and I really, really wanted it.
And I really, really thought I could be an amazing artist.
I mean, I still have that – I do believe in my musical talent, but there were so many buts along the way.
It didn't feel 100% aligned to what I was supposed to do.
But music still has a special place in my heart.
It's still a big hobby of mine and I still love it.
But in terms of life path, Lavendaire just felt so much more right to me.
I hope this made sense.
This is kind of a messy car vlog, but I hope that you guys got the gist of it,
that a lot of it is trial and error,
and then the other half is investing in yourself: reading, learning, taking courses,
so that you can build the strength and the stamina and the mindset and the habits.
Just keep doing it, keep going no matter what.
Don't settle for anything less, because if you don't feel like this is your right path,
but it's like 70% there –
maybe you're like, "Eh, I'm making pretty good money with what I'm doing.
I don't absolutely love it, but it's okay" – I don't want you guys to settle there.
I want you to know that there will always be something
that feels 100% aligned to what you're meant to do
and you have to not give up until you find it.
And that sounds scary.
That advice is really scary because you're taking a risk.
A lot of people will be like, "Well, what if I fail? What if I quit my great job now
and I go and I pursue this very new and different path, and what if I fail?
What if I lose everything?"
Well, you know what, girl?
If you fail, that means you tried.
And failing will teach you something.
After walking that new path and failing at it,
you're going to be so much more ahead in that direction,
and you're going to learn so much from that experience.
And that failure will lead you to where you're meant to go, I am for sure.
Regardless of whether it works out or doesn't work out, it's the right choice for you,
because for me, I had to go try out music.
It had to fail a few times, and that led me to what I'm doing now.
Same thing with other stuff: the acting, the hosting, marketing.
I was working for that food festival job for two or three years, basically three years.
And I was in a good position to grow with the company.
My boss even offered me a huge promotion during the year that I started Lavendaire,
and I was considering, "Okay, do I want to have this promotion, work full time,
booking performers for the stage and all of this stuff?"
And deep down in my heart, I knew that I didn't want to stay with that company.
Even though it was a fun job, I knew that I had better ways to spend my time.
So I quit that job, knowing that I would put all of my heart into Lavendaire,
knowing that I was not going to make any money from Lavendaire.
I did not make money –
after I quit my job, I pursued Lavendaire for a full year or two before any money trickled in.
Literally, I had no income for the whole year of 2015.
And 2016, things started coming in slowly.
And then 2017 was the year that I launched the Artist of Life Workbook,
and that was my first confident income year.
2017 was my confident income year.
2018 was an amazing year.
Flying colors, guys.
Thank you so much for your support.
And now 2019, hopefully – it's a pretty good year so far, but we'll see.
Anyway, the point was: Your failures will lead you to where you're meant to go,
so you should not be afraid to take the risk.
Just do it.
If you don't feel 100% aligned to what you're doing now, keep searching for it.
Talk to people, learn from others, test out little paths.
You don't have to quit your job.
You can have your job and really test out these side hustles on the side.
Test out new hobbies.
You never know until you actually try.
You don't know until you take action.
So the sun is almost setting, so I will wrap it up here,
but I hope you guys liked this chill car vlog.
I want to do more vlogs in my car.
I want to do more vlogs in general because I feel kind of stuffy doing my typical videos in my office.
And my house has been really messy lately because I've been working on the Create Your Dream Life course.
So when my space is messy, I don't like to film routine videos and things where I have to show the background.
So until I get my house clean and together, I won't shoot those videos.
I might even shoot a cleaning video because I need to get my space together, guys.
Alright, I will wrap it up here.
Love you guys so much and I will see you guys next time.
Bye!
Hi love!
Welcome to Affirmations by Lavendaire.
Reprogram your mind with these affirmations for self love and positive thinking.
Repeat after me:
I am worthy.
I am enough.