how can you avoid coming across as needy
that's the question that somebody else
be recently and I was really happy about
that because it made me remember
something that I learned a long time ago
and then I forgot about it again and
when it came back to me I was really
really pleased so I'm going to share it
with you here in this video it's going
to be different from all the other
answers you've ever heard on this topic
so make sure you watch the out of this
video now my name is Stephan Erdman by
the way if you don't know me act and
what I do is I out men get better at
meeting women attracting women get
confident around women in a natural way
a few good for women and for yourself
most importantly so what about this
topic then how do you avoid coming
across as needy on the one hand you're
supposed to make all the first moves
you're going to start the conversation
with a girl you are supposed to take her
out you're supposed to move things
forward you're supposed to escalate
things on the other hand if you do you
might come across as needy right at
least that's the current way of thinking
now maybe you've learned that people say
oh you just have to look like you don't
really care you shouldn't get women too
much attention you should maybe not get
back to them often enough maybe wait a
day or two to get back to them on the
phone and these are kind of tactics that
are basically supposed to show that
she's not that important to you and look
I don't want to completely discard any
of these things however these are still
tactics okay the tactics they're not the
actual truth of the matter the actual
thing that will always help you avoid
completely coming across as needy and
it's the absolute antidote to neediness
is what I want to give you in this video
and it's something that's not so easy to
attain but I believe it's a great thing
to aim for if you can get closer to this
ideal state you'll notice that you start
to feel and come across
less and less needy so what is this big
antler to neediness exactly very simple
it's this the more pleasure you can take
is what you're doing the less you come
across as needy okay the more pleasure
you can take is who you are if what
you're doing and what you're saying in
the very moment then you're doing it
yeah the rescue come across as needy I
have this little motto and it's just two
words and its basic this please yourself
please yourself okay please yourself
that's all you need to remember and then
really wonder how would it affect me if
I really just focus on pleasing myself
like when I'm talking to you right now
I'm focusing on just pleasing myself now
I'm talking to you and the cameras there
and at the same time I'm just doing it
for myself now I want to communicate
with you and that's great but I want to
make this good for myself and in the
process i have really stopped worrying
about with it you're going to take this
on board or not or whether you're going
to subscribe to my newsletter or not i'm
going to ask you to do it but at the
same time i don't really care if that
makes sense I don't feel like the whole
purpose of this video is just to get you
to do something yeah the purpose of this
video first for me right now as it feels
right now it's just for me to enjoy
speaking to you all right the rest of
side effects imagine what it would be
like to deal with women in this way when
you're talking to a girl what if the
first purpose of it was just to have fun
to yourself would that make you feel
needy in any way no because you wouldn't
care you just doing it for your own
pleasure
if you're cooking to a girl with this
mindset first of all she's going to be
drawn to you like crazy because what
actually is very attractive is if
somebody is doing things with own
pleasure yeah it's very charismatic it's
also really disarming for a girl because
if you're having a great time if you
having a great time than other people
around you they're starting to get needy
because they want what you've got okay
so you're totally flipping it you can
start a conversation with a girl when
you having a better time than her you
can ask for a number you're never going
to come across as needy I mean you can
kneel in front of her and beggar for a
number if you're having a great time
doing it you still not going to come
across as needy okay you're just going
to come across as a crazy guy who has a
lot of fun and who is irresistible you
see what I'm saying here now it just
depends on how far you want to take this
all right now for most guys it's a real
big step because most of us a condition
to just always hold back or we seem
quite miserable trying to look cool
trying to look serious and hams I'm not
saying I'm like this all the time I need
to remind myself of this stuff all the
time yeah because otherwise I get really
serious I start to think a lot improved
you know that's my my initial reaction
to most things okay but when I remind
myself of this of pleasing myself what
happened I just start to feel great if
you do this with women trust me try this
out I mean really get the essence of it
first don't try to act this or something
don't try to pretend just try to find a
sense of pleasing yourself just doing
things for yourself because that is the
essence of non neediness and the
antidote to needing it for coming across
as needy hmmm quick thing I hope you
enjoyed watching this video as much as I
enjoyed shooting it for you and if you
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one then you want to make sure that you
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take care