had so many good questions about when a man texts and he just says hi or how are you or what's up he
doesn't even ask about your day he doesn't give you more and that seems to be an epidemic sorry
it's a pandemic it happens to women I speak to all over this earth texting is now the easiest
way for a man to avoid are not fully commit to having the conversation that we're wanting the
conversation and connection that we were desiring now I wanted to start off by telling you a quick
story and hi everyone I'm glad you can hear me so glad you can join I wanted to start off with a
quick story about a man this is just a very common situation maybe you've experienced something like
this he um we had gone out on to three dates this is back when I was single I'm of course engaged
now to be married to a wonderful man but he was a pretty good at texting me we went on a couple
of dates it was very nice we had a great time and then nothing it went silent so first three days
I'm a little worried I'm like what happened with me was it something I said something I
did these are all really normal thoughts that we all think we immediately seek that approval from
a man if he rejects us it's something about us and then if we can win him back which a lot of
women do we sort of get lost in winning him back that we are valuable we are only valuable if we
can win back the man who has rejected us okay so I went through that and then five to seven
days later finally my better sense kicked in and I said you know his loss I'm going to pass and a
great question to ask yourself at that point is how are we doing as a relationship we not
what did I do what am i doing what is he doing what is what what is he what's going on in his
world what did I do where am I going with this what am I going to do why that's about him and
it's about you make it about we and say where is this relationship going how is how are we feeling
how are we working and ask yourself that way so I asked myself I said how are we working me in
this guy not so good if a man is flaking out early in a relationship and you have to give
him a second chance a third chance a fourth chance to show you what type of man he is I
can tell you it's not going to work out it's not what you want to hear you want to hear that if
you keep trying and if you keep showing up and being warm and using filling statements that
he's going to be the man that you're seeking but if early on he's already starting to flake
out after the third or fourth date he's showing me who he truly is he's showing you who he is
right now that he can't be in the relationship so then three weeks later this man finally texts
me and says hey I just wanted to let you know I lost my phone you know something happened to my
phone and then I had to go to Hawaii on business and I was wondering if we could get together and
hang out I really had a great time with you so what do you think I did after three weeks later
pass no thank you if you cannot be in control of your phone you're a grown adult man and you're
losing your phone like a 14-year old don't get me wrong I've busted Mini iPhone but I
am quick to get them repaired I'm quick to get my life back on track no this is not an excuse
it's unacceptable and he was crushed that I declined his offer because men are very used
to doing this to women and when women being like oh yeah sure I get it you lost your phone because
we like them we like this man so my question today was about what do you do when you like
a guy and he's texting you things like hey what's up you know hello hi these flaky flaky texts okay
so first off I'll just tell you the reason men normally don't text a woman back I hear you at
all she would have done the same she's saying the reason guys don't necessarily text a woman back as
quickly as we want them to because we're very fast communicators we like to have that information now
we get anxious we get restless that's your boy energy taking over that anxiety that anxiousness
that's your boy energy who's trying to make this relationship happen immediately and unfold very
quickly and get your needs met from that man so when the man doesn't text you back immediately or
it takes him a while he is busy he's busy that's the number one reason number two is he's a little
worried he's going to get caught up in a really long winded long lasting conversation with you
and he's going to get uncomfortable and he's not going to want to know what to say you're gonna be
dumping all of your feelings on him giving him so much information he just like can't process it so
they just avoid it they just avoid talking to us so you can heal a lot of that reaction but being
a very succinctly cur when you talk to your man and by using feeling statements and I'm going to
tell you how to do that now another reason a man doesn't text back is he's just not sure he's not
sure if you're the girl for him and so he's got to invest that time with you and that's sometimes
they're not so sure they want to do that just yet playing but they will do things like drop little
lures and say hi what's up okay so I'm going to go over questions and tell you how to talk to the
man who does stuff like hi what's up and how you can use this as an opportunity to connect with his
heart I want you to practice on the men in your life that are communicating using hi what's up
how's it going just checking in and I want you to use it as if they're saying how was your day
today these men are not the best communicators they're just not and they sometimes don't even
know they're looking for connection and they know they want to talk to you they want to they want to
connect to some woman you know on these little devices there are many women that at any moment
they can connect with and they can feel like a man okay because they're connecting to a woman
and yes they will text many women at one time to see who will text back so I want you to be
that one woman that when he texts you you're gonna open up your heart you're gonna express your heart
to him because ultimately he may be looking for a beauty call he may be looking for sexting but
you're that girl that's gonna creep inside his heart you're gonna get inside his heart you're
gonna open up his heart and if you do open up his heart and it's emptier he's not ready or
he's just not available you're gonna know and he's gonna stop bugging you because you're connecting
to his heart you're looking for a loving long lasting meaningful relationship not just some
text conversation to get him through the next 30 minutes of uncomfortable silence in his life
so you don't want to be a text buddy okay so I'm gonna go over some of your questions you had all
so many amazing things to say thank you everybody for writing in so I'm gonna start off make it
um one of you said well you know I think that I think Mia said um if I'm dating someone and they
say something like that or they say baby or hun it makes me think of that a Beyonce song where he's
not he's not really saying a name he's being vague so he might be in the company of another woman and
if you're feeling that if you're sensing that this man is being dishonest with you the next time you
talk to him I want you to say you know I felt really uncomfortable the other day on the phone
with you I noticed my name wasn't being said is there something I should know so you don't want to
come out of the gate with accusations or pulling at him you know I get worried no I felt really
uncomfortable the other day when I spoke I didn't hear my name something felt off is there something
I need to know and let the man answer you all right I'm gonna move on to the next question here
tall says and I know a man who purposely misleads women by text and a man if a man takes me higher
what's up I don't respond I feel you're wasting my time you may be right he may be wasting your
time so why not practice on him instead why not practice using your feeling statements to
open up this man's heart and see what happens if more women looked at men as practice instead of
like this maybe the one that I'm gonna marry and have forever with this is the one I really want
if you just looked at him as practice you might be surprised just energetically how men just start to
gravitate towards you because you're a no-pressure no obligation woman you're just like here's my
feelings Here I am and then they're like like it I like to talk to her because when they talk to you
they feel good and if you can talk to a man and he feels good and you're not having to be this fake
Cheerilee where you're like hey everything's great how are you it's totally fake a man is not going
to connect with it a man is gonna connect with your heart now I want to give you all a really
quick example let's say you're driving home from work and cars are zipping past one another a guy
cuts you off and he flips you the bird you can go home and tell your guy well the worst thing
happened to me on the way home I'm driving home and some guy flipped me off and I'm so mad that's
option one option two walk inside and be like hey how are you he's like how's your day go
everything was great and then later that day you have eight later that night you have a breakdown
and he goes what's wrong with you and you're like oh today somebody this happened to me at work or
somebody flipped me off and then here comes the dam is breaking okay so here's option number
three if somebody flips you off or if you have a bad day at work somebody says something ugly
to you chances are you're not gonna be feeling that great about yourself you're you're just
you're not gonna be feeling good I'm just gonna show in your mood and if you hide that you're
hiding who you are so let's say you're feeling a little down you're feeling a little confused and
you walk in the door and he goes huh he can tell immediately something's not right with you and he
goes what's up and go oh I'm just feeling a little perturbed I'm feeling a little pissed off this guy
today driving home flipped me off and it just it hurts my feelings you know what can I say it just
hurts my feelings and then you connect to him and that's when he wants to hug you and be there for
you and be your savior and all the girls at work they they're all going out for drinks after and
I didn't get invited I feel really alone you know I feel lonely when that happens often a man will
try to fix it and he'll give you advice which is hilarious I love it when men try to offer
his like advice to fix problems and stuff it's really funny and sweet and sometimes they have
really great ideas but let let him and just melt into his arms melt into his presence all right so
that was a really good question that you have I'm another person said I don't know I think
he's being cold but I'd probably reply hey hon how are you and see what comes up next is that
what you're really feeling Christina Christine sorry is that what you're really feeling hi hon
how are you no it's not what you're feeling you're like hi what's up huh so if you keep getting that
sort of thing from him and it's it's not what you want in a relationship you can address it
at some point but I would prefer you try you're feeling statements for a good long while and treat
his hi what's up how are you as this man just can't communicate very well and he just just
five seconds of texting you know less than five seconds so just treat it as an opportunity of like
oh today I I'm feeling so warm and the sunshine I'm feeling so comfortable and relaxed connect
with his heart in one sentence and then see what comes next now I talked about this a lot I have
a book called 500 ways to speak to a man and it goes over every situation you can imagine that
can happen with a guy cheating dating getting that second date commitment marriage porn you name it
I cover it all in this book it's available on my website at Everhart coaching dot-com / ebook it's
it out there to see if there's an interest but if he keeps doing it I feel he cannot or does
not want a conversation you are so spot-on you are so spot-on with that one because either this
man is seeking a text buddy or he's seeking real connection how do you find out you keep giving
him feeling statements so if you placate him and you go into that like well I'm just gonna
hi what's up how are you yeah that's good yeah it's great that's called fat at communication
its communication that's not leading to anywhere it's just very on the surface you might as well
talk about the weather you're not connecting so I want you to be able to connect to his heart using
your true authentic feelings so a lot of you are just feeling like it's small talk Ashley wrote I
feel like he's making small talk he's testing me to see how I react but I do recognize that
he's reaching out and this is nice so I care more about what he says after I respond warmly to him
Ashley and I have worked together a good long while and she knows your stuff and you're right
this man is still writing to you even if it's hi what's up how are you he's still writing to
you so again practice on him be warm then see what happens you don't have to make anything happen in
a relationship for a man to proceed you don't have to make anything happen all you have to do is lean
back and let it unfold I want you to show up with your feelings know who you are be able to express
your feelings using I feel I'm feeling or I felt otherwise it's just on a feeling statement you'll
be able to express what you're feeling as a woman I think it's much better when you meet your man at
the beginning of the end of the day that you don't talk about work that you make it about something
else that you have experienced today that's felt lovely and beautiful and you feel like a feminine
goddess because of it alright so I think that's everybody's questions please feel free to ask
anything else in the comment section and thank you all again for joining and asking so many questions
I live near a college and there's just lots of activity in my neighborhood but thank you
all so much if you're interested in learning more about my ebook it's at Everhart coaching
comm / ebook and you can read all about it there all right much love see you soon bye