Uh-oh, enter the dragon.
I have been waiting outside for nine and a half minutes.
So?
So, when you were ready to be born did I keep you waiting?
Yes, you were pregnant with me for 11 months.
I wanted to make sure you were done!
Mrs. Benson, you're kind of drawing a crowd.
Oh, are you all Freddie's friends?
No, no, no, Mom, they're not all my friends.
Who wants to see his baby pictures?
Oh, good, I've got a bunch on my phone.
- Mrs. Benson... - Mom, do not show them--
Here is Freddie wearing his special diapers.
So you're not actually traumatized?
No, I just took advantage of your insecurities
about being a new parent to get some cool stuff.
Thanks for the keyboard!
Yeah, uh, uh, uh.
Was there an apology in there?
Come on, an admission of guilt isn't enough?
Not in 2021.
Who do you think you are, a high-profile male celebrity?
You pretended to be hurt so that I would buy you stuff.
It's my keyboard now.
You're right.
Thank you for teaching me a moral lesson.
It's better than any gift you could have ever gotten me.
You're welcome, Millicent.
You know what?
Here, take the keyboard.
You're so easy!
When Millicent's father passed away
I never thought I'd meet someone who loved her as much as me.
Hmm, as much as I do.
I see why you divorced me.
Well, now it's time for me to divorce somebody else.
Wait, that came out weird.
I'm seeing someone.
No!
Just kidding.
[chuckling]
Honestly, I'm happy for you.
Thanks.
[whispering] It's working!
[sighing] We both knew this was bound to happen.
[whispering] We knew, too! We knew, too.
The only part I'm worried about is Millicent.
Maybe this is just too much for her.
I wish I had a way to know how she's gonna react.
Should we go talk to her right now?
No, I need to gauge her moods over the next week.
Oh, hey, Mrs Benson. Oh, look, a little baby person!
Freddie, I'm taking baby Stephanie
out for a walk in the fresh air.
Oh, I don't care what you do with her.
Oh, look at her!
She's so small.
Like a little meat loaf.
- Hi, baby. - What's up, little Stephanie?
[making silly noises]
[giggling]
We made her laugh.
Yeah, she thinks everybody is hilarious but me.
Here, let's test it out.
First, me and Carly will get her laughing.
Oh, you're so cute!
[making silly noises]
[giggling]
And now...
[giggling]
Oh, the baby does hate you.
Your great grandfather, long before you were born,
he led a troop called the Fencin' Bensons.
They performed with the Tingling Brothers Circus.
It was him, his brother and their seven cousins.
They were gifted fencers, wildly popular.
The Tingling brothers?
Yes, your great grandfather was a master at fencing,
but he became obsessed with it.
He forced my father to fence, and later,
my father made me.
Fencing is in our blood, Freddie,
and I never wanted you to become obsessed,
like our ancestors.
I thought you wanted me to be your girlfriend
since the first day you met me.
I have.
Well? I'm standing here with my lips all glossed up
and you're treating me like I'm your icky cousin Amanda.
Amanda is disgusting.
Freddie, I need to visit your Aunt Susan for a few days.
Apparently, her rash is spreading.
Spencer, I need to have Freddie stay here.
Eh, no problem.
Just make sure that Freddie gets to bed every night--
Mom!
Boys without bedtimes never--
[phone rings] Ugh, now what?
Oh, my God. The rash spread to her thighs.
I've got to go online and do
some cream and ointment research.
Your aunt sounds awesome.
Like your family's not full of freaks and mutants.
Touché.
I just don't see what's funny about Fred.
Well, it's not my fault he quit!
Hey, you don't have to call me names.
Oh, yeah?
Well, you're a bigger one!
Who was that?
My Aunt Jennifer.
I hear peeping.
Shhh!
[chirping]
I think there's a chick inside the wall.
Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.
Okay, my uncle's a carpenter, so maybe he can bring over his...
[screaming]