You’ve just met a great man that you’re really attracted to and compatible with, you
really like him, and the feeling is mutual.
He’s giving you tons of attention, making plans to see you, he’s keeping in touch
on the phone and with texts – basically, things feel great.
And then BOOM!!!
Something happens.
There's a sudden and obvious change and you know he’s pulling away.. what happened?
Why did he lose interest?
In this video, I’m going to explain the top 6 reasons guys lose interest, pull away,
and even disappear.
So don’t go anywhere because we’re starting in 4 seconds
hi everyone..
I’m dr Antonio Borrello, Welcome to another video.
I’m a psychologist and relationship coach and I make weekly dating and relationship
advice videos.
This channel is all about helping you build great relationships so you can grow happy
with the people you love.
So, if you’re interested in making your love life the best part of your life, start
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OK… on to the reasons why he pulled away.
If you’re single and dating, you’ve probably had a similar experience..
Things start off great.. he’s super into you, attentive, affectionate..
making plans… and you feel the same.. in fact, you’re really excited about this man.
But then…
out of nowhere, something happens.
He stops calling as much.
He pulls away from you a little more.
He doesn’t want to make plans this weekend, or he stops being so affectionate with you.
Whatever it is, you can sense it, and it feels horrible in the pit of your stomach.
And that’s when you start questioning everything…
replaying your interactions over an over… trying to figure out what happened.
was it something I said?
Did they learn something about me that they don't like?
Why is he no longer interested?
Here are the top 6 reasons men pull away.
6.
It’s a triggered emotional response…
A sudden change of heart without an obvious reason is often a triggered emotional response.
Some behavior, interaction or new information triggered a negative emotion in your partner
and caused them to experience anxiety.
This uneasiness gets associated with you, and poof, they’re gone.
And this isn’t something you could ever control.
Unless you were offensive, did something really weird or appeared way too interested or needy,
the trigger is related to something in your partner’s past and has nothing to do with
you.
A trigger could be almost anything: behaviors, gestures, expressions, differences of opinion,
or even the way you laugh.
And often they are ridiculous...
I know... it’s happened to me many times.
Sometimes a trigger is an alert to important differences between two people.
But often, a trigger is simply an irrational emotional response to something your partner
isn’t even aware of.
Often, the person who loses interest doesn’t even know why it happened..
doesn’t understand why their own feelings have changed.
they just know they don’t feel the same.
5.
You think you’re more compatible than you really are.
This is a big one.. you start dating a person who is super attractive to you.. and you believe
they have a lot going for them…and that they are a very good match for you….
And you would make a great couple and have beautiful bambinos together...
wait... really?
Are you that compatible?
Did you have non stop amazing, stimulating conversation?
Are you both really that similar?
let’s be honest with ourselves…
the more attracted you are to a person, the more likely you are to try and forgive the
differences between the two of you.
And, before you really know a person, you’re more likely to imagine this person has these
great qualities and attributes that are perfect for you.
But In reality, might not be that compatible…
despite the fact that you really really want to be.
And for whatever reason, he was able to realize and accept that fact before you were.
4.
He is in love with somebody else.
If he is in love with another woman, that does not mean you are inadequate, ugly, uncaring,
or unsexy.
It means he fell in love with another person.
He did.
It’s his responsibility.
Whether you’ve been dating a few months or married for decades, your man falling in
love with someone else is not a reflection of your flaws.
It is a sign of something going on within his own heart and mind.
He could also have lost interest because he is still in love with someone from his past.
You are not responsible for using your magic powers to break that bond of love.
That is something he will have to deal with on his own.
Ok.. so you have little control over the first three scenarios.
… in other words, it’s not you… it’s him..
But the next three reasons are much more under your control.. so make sure you keep watching
because these are things you can immediately change.
3.
You’re Attracted to Bad Boys.
Are you someone who is always attracted to men who are unavailable or otherwise bad for
you.
In other words, you keep picking the bad boys.
You know the scenario..
The nice Guy is handsome, sweet, interesting, smart, and available and he is interested
in a relationship with you.
But of course, you’re just not that into him.
On the other hand, you can’t stop thinking and obsessing over this bad boy.
Sure, the bad boy has a some good qualities, but he is either unavailable for a relationship
in general, or unavailable for a relationship with you.
So, if you have a history of picking these guys, perhaps you’re more likely to subconsciously
seek out similar scenarios, hoping that the story will have a different ending next time.
Only it does not.
Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate how and where you’re meeting these bad boys and make some
adjustments.
Give the nice guy a second date and see what happens.
2.
You’re Working Much Harder than He is.
When we are really attracted to someone and we really want things to work out, we have
a tendency to go out of our way to be super nice, attentive, available….
And sometimes, we do all of the work to make things happen,… like always driving across
town to see him, arranging our schedule to make time for him….
And even cancelling plans with friends to see him.
This may be an exaggeration, but if a guy thinks you’ll drop everything for an opportunity
to see him, the message it sends is that he’s the most important thing going on in your
world.. and this has two bad consequences….
1, it lowers your value in his eyes and when your perceived value goes down, so does your
level of attractiveness.
when you show a new man you’re dating too much interest, too much excitement, you’re
perceived value (relative to his) goes down.
Does that make sense.. and number 2, if a guy thinks he’s the most important thing
you have going on in your life, it puts a lot of pressure on him.
He thinks… if things don’t work out, she will be super hurt… that’s a lot of pressure
up front.
And who wants to be responsible for another person’s pain?
1 You didn’t make him invest into the relationship People care more when they put more effort
into their relationships, So, let your partner invest in you.
When they do, they are increasing their feelings of love and appreciation for you.
And I’m not talking about money..
im talking about allowing him to help you with things..
small favors, helping you complete a project at home,.
Help with studying..
things that take time and effort.
Instead of suggesting you meet him at his place, let him drive your way and pick you
up.. these things add up.
The more he invests, the more he will like you as a result…
I know it seems counterintuitive, but trust me… we appreciate and value the things we
work hard for.
invest in each other equally—share the effort, Share the work, Share in the giving and receiving—
and you will develop an amazing appreciation for each other.
Look, anyone who is dating in todays world will have these experiences and it won’t
feel good.
What’s important is that you quickly recognize when your feelings are no longer being reciprocated
—and once you’re aware, adjust your behaviors and feelings accordingly.
Don’t waste your time worrying about the person who isn’t showing as much interest
as you are.
Move forward and meet someone as eager about a relationship as you are.
Don’t settle for anything less.
I know I certainly wont…
You deserve a person who’s just as excited about you and knows how to show it, right?
And don’t blame yourself or spend endless hours worrying about what went wrong.
It happens to everyone, it happens frequently and it’s not a reflection of you.
Period!
I know you all have “change of heart stories” or situations where you were left wondering
what happened?
If you’d like my help trying to decipher something, leave a comment below and let’s
start a discussion.
Remember, this channel is all about helping you build great relationships so you can grow
happy with the people you love..
So if you want to make your love life the best part of your life, make sure that you’ve
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And please hit that thumbs up button if you’ve found this video helpful or informative…
thanks for watching..
I’ll see you in the next video.