[MUSIC PLAYING]
All right, Brian.
Where are we?
So we're over on this island.
Goat Island, it's called.
And we were talking to the dive shop,
and they told us this sort of unconfirmed rumor
that that house, the white one right there,
is actually owned by Ian Fleming.
And he stayed here for a long time,
and wrote quite a bit of the James Bond novels here.
We also heard that the house is kept up by a caretaker.
Some people see him occasionally from shore.
Somebody will see a light or a candle or something
going on here.
So we thought it would be cool to just head in, check it
out, and see if the rumors are true or not.
I think he's in there.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
The look words could ever--
The look words could ever say.
The-- the-- the-- words could ever say or do.
Bald!
Could it be?
Oh, my word.
I haven't had guests in years.
The house is a mess!
I'm coming, Bond!
Mr. Fleming!
We have guests!
Oh my word.
Mr. Fleming!
Girls!
Don't ever--
Girls!
Get the martinis ready.
Bond is here.
(SINGING) Words could--
(SINGING) The look words could ever say.
The-- the-- the-- words could ever say.
All my jewelsies.
(SINGING) Words could ever say.
Bond, good day.
Mr. Fleming has been expecting you for ages, sir.
We have a pleasant surprise.
Do come in.
Please do pardon the mess, sirs.
Oh, Mr. Fleming has been away for quite a while.
We've gotten a film on for tonight too.
The story role might be a bit of a surprise.
[LAUGHTER]
If you're staring at your screen right now scratching your head
and wondering what the hell did I just watch,
then stay tuned for the method behind the madness.
A few days earlier, we had taken Maggie over
after a nearby scuba dive to scope
out the supposed Bond house that we'd heard so many mixed rumors
about.
What have you heard about this place, Blue?
Tell us your Blue facts.
I've heard that it did belong to Ian Fleming at one point.
I can definitely see how you could post up here in secret
and just write some James Bond movies.
I believe the story.
I believe this is the Bond house.
You believe it?
Yeah.
Do you believe it, Senor Brady?
I heard last night from the chef that Ian Fleming
did own this house.
He wrote all of the James Bond novels here.
And then he sold the house to the Jamaican government.
Quite the veranda.
This Ian fella does it right, right?
Ian knows what's up, huh?
Look at this shit.
There's a random hamburger bun just over here.
What?
Hamburger bun.
I wonder how long that bread's been there?
That's weird.
I know.
Here's a guest book.
There's nobody in it.
Wow, this place must've been just fantastic in its day, huh?
Holy.
[LAUGHTER]
What's going on?
Look there.
It's a bat come gunning for our head.
Aidan's screaming like a little girl.
There's a couple of them.
Oh!
Oh.
Here they come.
Oh, man.
You guys are scared of a little bat?
He's going right in front of your head.
Kaz is stealing plants!
[LAUGHTER]
What'd you get, Kazza?
Well, that's a nice one.
Yeah.
Look at that.
[SHRIEK]
Jeez.
As entertaining as it was to watch Nate scream
like a little girl while getting dive-bombed by bats,
we were still no closer to knowing the truth
about this enigma of a house.
So rather than doing some real research,
we decided that the next natural move
would be to do an elaborate and cinematic reinterpretation
of one of the most classic Bond scenes of all time.
What do we got here?
There's our--
Now Nate's the director for tonight's production.
Oh, boy.
So we're going to start with scene
from Thunderball, which is the one with all the scuba diving.
But we're going to do Brian underwater a little bit
with a little scuba gear.
We're going to hand him a spear gun because I--
All right.
I just watched the Thunderball scene,
and he's fighting with a spear gun.
OK, so he's going to exit out of the water in slo-mo.
He's going to do a water hair flip.
He's going to see the three ladies in the pool, whatever
ladies do in a pool when no one's watching.
When no one's watching.
You know they're making out.
What else would they be doing?
They're probably making out.
Yep.
Some hair flips, a little water dripping off.
A lot of slo-mo.
Lot of slo-mo.
At that time, we're going to have you
in the house upstairs looking through a window.
Yeah.
We're just going to be an over shoulder view.
And all of a sudden the caretaker, which is you,
notices that you have visitors.
So you're going to get--
Wait a minute.
I got to get a shot of this.
Wait.
This you.
[LAUGHTER]
And he runs down, he greets, and then he takes us on the tour.
OK.
And tells us the story about how he's been waiting for Sir Ian
Fleming, and he shows us his bats
and he says he's sorry that the house is
in a little bit of disarray.
Ian died in 1964.
OK.
So he's been waiting a minute.
It's perfect.
It's going to be a hit.
All right.
That's the plan.
We've done it.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I look like a clown.
Trying to work here, and it's ejecting my disks.
This is a gift from Fleming himself.
Little mirror belt.
[LAUGHTER]
Brian.
[LAUGHTER]
What accent is he going to do?
He's still feeling it out.
I'm trying to get him in character so he can start to--
Develop.
--develop.
I need to spend some time with myself, probably in my outfit
and like a couple shots of rum in front of the mirror,
and something may develop.
OK.
Do your fake British accent.
Give us some tips.
Hold it a little bit.
Welcome to the Fleming house, man.
Blue, I'm trying to freaking edit!
Mr. Fleming has stepped away for the afternoon.
He shall be back soon with milk.
Can I take it off now?
It's up to you.
Do you want to?
It's hot.
I can tell you that.
What was that?
That was a chunk that just came off of my--
Sorry.
Blue is officially a Hollywood makeup artist over here.
Aim for jagged old man, potentially
a ghost, that used to be British but is now Caribbean.
OK, hold on.
Now put the glasses on.
See how that looks.
More black.
While Brady continued to get his makeup applied,
Brian was up to some slightly more rugged endeavors.
Look at that.
Spear gun with a laser beam attached to it.
Just in case it can't kill the shark with a spear.
Look at that.
Laser.
Laser beam.
Who's ready for some Friday night action?
Just a typical Friday on Delos.
Roleplaying.
Turns out when you're on a small island
you have to make your own entertainment,
and this is our version of it.
All right, Brian.
Where are we?
So we're over on this island--
And then within literally seconds of starting the shoot,
we kicked off the never-ending process
of having Brian do take after take after take after take.
Maybe instead of saying we dove this reef the other day--
OK.
And I wouldn't say the caretaker's name.
Action.
Hung out on this island.
Fuck.
I totally forgot what I was saying.
He's in a space I--
Behind me right here is Goat Island.
Goat Island.
It's Goat Island.
Owned by Ian Fleming.
Was actually owned by Ian Fleming.
The house is kept up by a caretaker.
Rumor of a caretaker that--
Once we were all happy with the intro,
it was time to get Brian in the water.
Ah, who was wearing this?
Nice little crotch shot.
Let's have Nate go in first.
[SPLASH]
Checking his pockets as he's going in.
As he's going in.
Laser spear.
And the tie.
Oh, this is a technical tie.
Laser activated.
Wait, say that again.
I've activated the laser!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
All right, we got everything?
We'll see.
We brought dinner with us.
We brought the projector.
We brought martinis.
We got it all.
Need to start drinking.
Yeah.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
He's going to get right here where it's deep,
and he's going to crouch down.
So he's going to stand up fast, and then
he's going to immediately pull the mask off and drop it,
and he's going to give one of these.
OK?
OK.
You got me?
Yeah.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hello.
We're going to try and give Brady a white beard.
So we have flour.
[LAUGHTER]
Blue.
[COUGHING]
So that's it.
Hey, I'm going to get it on this hair.
[COUGHING]
You want to see if there's any bats in here?
Yeah, let's try and get that shot.
Bond is here!
Hello!
Go back a little bit further and count to five seconds,
and then start walking up.
OK, start walking.
OK, go ahead.
That's Bond!
[LAUGHTER]
Oh, Bond!
Oh!
Bond!
Could it be?
The house is a mess.
Oh, I haven't had guests in years!
Mr. Fleming!
Oh!
Girls!
Girl-- are you recording?
Yeah.
Girls!
Get the martinis ready!
Bond is here!
OK, go.
Now do that from up here.
So I'm going to look happy, like I've seen him?
Yeah.
Happy, but more lustfully.
Like you haven't seen a man other than the crazy old man
for years.
So start with you're looking.
You're like, oh my gosh.
Is that him?
Is that Bond?
Look straight at the camera.
And now be like, oh my god!
It's Kaz, and she's a fucking babe.
Yeah, that was perfect.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
You're going to grab that martini glass
and hand it to Brian.
OK, ready?
Yeah.
And then it's Kaz who's going to pour it?
Yeah.
As we began to lose daylight and our collective ADD started
to kick in, we made the executive decision
to call it a wrap and start setting up
the projector outside so we could watch Thunderball
at the doorstep of this famous Bond landmark.
Good work, team.
Especially Brian, standing out in the waves
for like 45 minutes with your spear.
Do that same shot one more time.
You know, acting's tough work.
Yeah.
Now I got my martini, my hummus.
Yeah.
My girl.
Yeah.
All is well with the world.
Tell me a little bit about the process,
the process of becoming the method actor that you are.
Another bat!
Ah!
Holy shit.
Oh, there's a lot of them.
That's the process.
Just get swarmed by bats.
If there's any type of fear or adrenaline or alcohol involved,
you snap right into it.
[BELCH]
So what's the plan for the rest of this magical evening?
We set up a nice projector, and we're
going to watch James Bond.
Nice.
What's the movie we're watching?
Thunderballs.
Thunderball.
Thunderballs.
We made some ghetto Delos style martinis with three ice cubes
because all the ice melted.
And we made it with some vodka, a little bit of dry vermouth,
and a splash of olive juice because we
like them dirty around here.
Boom.
Blue, what you sipping on there?
Warm vodka, little bit of fresh lime juice, and an olive.
It's OK.
It's delicious.
Cheers.
We never did get to the bottom of the rumors that surround
this supposed Bond house.
We started chatting with a few local fishermen that showed up
to the island, and they believed that the rumors were bogus.
After reading up a bit more about it,
there really isn't any evidence that Fleming ever
owned this house, and his biographer and family
have both disputed the rumors.
Yet somehow this Legend lives on as a staple of Toboggan
hearsay, and most people that visit this part of the island
will hear it at one point or another.
But as our ridiculous night on Goat Island
proves, and I'm sure Ian Fleming himself would agree,
sometimes fiction can be way more fun than the truth.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
This could be on 1,000 ways to die or something.
Business in the front, party in the back.
Look at that.
Like it?
I like it a lot.
[MUSIC PLAYING]