Superpowered farts and an island of mutated beasts don't make for an easy trip down
memory lane. Not even a vanishing spell can wipe these box office flops from history.
The late British actor John Hurt played a number of iconic parts in his long career, with key roles
in classic fantasy and sci-fi franchises like "Doctor Who," "Alien," "Hellboy," and of course
the "Harry Potter" films, where he played Garrick Ollivander. But there's at least one
film he starred in back in the '90s that failed to take hold and become the next big sci-fi film,
instead becoming a flop. That was the 1993 movie "Monolith."
The film focuses on a pair of police officers who are investigating the passing of a young boy
when they stumble across a possible alien invader with the ability to shapeshift.
Hurt portrays the government agent who wants them to leave the case alone.
Though it does have some genuinely intriguing ideas, it all comes across so generic and
ham-fisted that it becomes a whole lot of nothing. Bad direction, bland characters,
a confusing script … We've seen it all before in bad B-movies that were better than this. Hurt is
certainly capable of playing a chilling, even terrifying villain, but he's woefully miscast
in "Monolith" and would probably have wanted us to forget he was ever in it.
Helena Bonham Carter would join the "Harry Potter" series in
"The Order Of The Phoenix" and return for its three sequels as the villainous Death Eater
Bellatrix Lestrange. It was a part that seems like it was tailor made for the frenetic actress.
One-time partner of Tim Burton, she has also starred in more than a half-dozen of his films,
including "Planet of the Apes," "Alice in Wonderland," and "Dark Shadows."
Across her career she's ventured into just about every genre and dozens of acclaimed movies. But
if she could wipe one of them from existence, it has to be the strange dental comedy "Novocaine."
The film is about a dentist who gets framed for murder after an encounter with alluring patient,
played by Carter, who seduces him and turns his life upside down. A tonal mish-mash,
the movie dances between black comedy and outright parody, making one increasingly
numb to its ambitious premise. Whether it's supposed to be a genuinely suspenseful thriller or
a comic farce you're never quite sure, but when it's all over you just want to rinse and spit.
"You see, that's the nature of attraction.
You find yourself doing things and you have no idea why."
Before "Harry Potter," Alan Rickman already had several well-known roles under his belt,
including the Sheriff of Nottingham in "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves"
and the villainous Hans Gruber in the action classic "Die Hard." But he'd reach
a new stratosphere in the "Harry Potter" series portraying the dark, enigmatic Professor Snape,
a wizard who seemed to blur the line between good and evil. Already a Hollywood fixture,
the role further cemented Rickman as one of Hollywood's finest stars.
But Rickman wasn't without his duds, and few can measure up to the disappointment
of "Mesmer," a bizarre biopic about Franz Anton Mesmer. Mesmer was a doctor who peddled his
theories in hypnosis and mystical energies in the 18th century. The result is a film that's
about what you'd expect from a period drama based on a forgotten figure in pseudoscience history,
even if Rickman is his usual charismatic self in the title role.
Still, the actor alone often can't save a film, though he tried.
"That's very kind of you."
Before Ralph Fiennes played a heroic, old-fashioned superspy in "The King's Man,"
the actor who starred in "Harry Potter" as Lord Voldemort led a flop called "The Avengers." It's
a movie that Fiennes and pretty much everyone else involved would be thrilled to forget,
as it is one of the most notorious film failures of the '90s. Not only was it a box office dud,
but it also came into theaters with high expectations and was absolutely terrible,
wasting a star-studded cast and all its potential.
Fiennes played secret agent John Steed in this big budget adaptation of the
hit British television series of the same name. But despite having all the ingredients
to be the next big action franchise, "The Avengers" was a total disaster and a clumsy,
charmless film that didn't exactly electrify the box office like its MCU namesake.
Fiennes himself slammed the movie, telling The Guardian:
"You don't go to work thinking you're going to make a bad film.
I went to work thinking, 'Great, let's reinvent 'The Avengers,''
which I loved as a kid. It's only now ... that we look back and groan."
Actor Tom Felton came to fame thanks to his casting in "Harry Potter," though he'd had a
few roles before joining the J.K. Rowling epic. After leaving Hogwarts, Felton struggled to
achieve the same success as the franchise's trio of young stars. One film he took on in the wake
of "Harry Potter" that he almost certainly regrets is the horror movie "Night Wolf."
A film that takes itself way more seriously than it should, "Night Wolf" centers on a
group of teens in a cliched situation: stuck inside a house during a dark and stormy night.
One by one, they get picked off by a mysterious creature: a werewolf. Of course
this comes as a complete shock to audiences who didn't look at the title of the movie,
or pick up the very obvious clues that the filmmakers probably thought were ever-so-clever.
Felton plays the stock stoner character Gary, one of the beast's first victims,
so if you are checking this one out because you love Draco Malfoy,
don't expect to see much of him. He might be glad he didn't have to stick around for the
film's entire shoot, but he probably wishes he hadn't been there at all. At least he was smart
enough to not return for the director's next movie, "Strippers vs. Werewolves."
"I bet you loved that, didn't you, Potter?"
Joining Hogwarts for "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire," actor Brendan Gleeson played Mad Eye
Moody, who is at first the disguise of Barty Crouch Jr. In subsequent films, Gleeson returns as
the real Mad Eye, and helps Potter defeat the Dark Lord Voldemort. A renowned Irish character actor,
Gleeson's career goes all the way back to the late '80s and he's gone on to feature in classics like
"Into The West," "Braveheart," and "28 Days Later." His career also has its flops though,
and one actioner may be the film the actor would love us all to skip.
Though it boasted a decent cast, "Turbulence" is decidedly not a '90s classic, no matter
what the filmmakers lofty ambitions may have been. In the film, Gleeson stars as Stubbs,
a bank robber being transported by plane alongside another diabolical criminal named Weaver,
who manages to break free of his U.S. Marshal escort and take over the flight.
It may have been a compelling starting premise, but with flat performances and unimpressive
stunts, "Turbulence" crashed and burned. The film's stark similarities to "Con Air," released
the same year, definitely didn't help matters either. Gleeson spared himself the indignity
of appearing in the two direct-to-video sequels, which were somehow even worse.
"...what?"
A member of the Order of the Phoenix, Remus Lupin started out as a mysterious
figure in his first appearance, with many believing that it was he, in werewolf form,
who had been terrorizing Hogwarts. But after the culprit was revealed to be Peter Pettigrew,
Lupin became one of the greatest heroes of the Second Wizarding War.
He was played by actor David Thewlis, who outside of "Harry Potter" has had plenty of hit films.
But the disaster "The Island of Dr. Moreau" was most certainly not among them. A historically bad
film, it was led by Marlon Brando as the eponymous doctor, and boasted a star-studded cast. But
it's Thewlis who sparks the film's story, as his character crash lands on the island and discovers
the experiments of the demented Moreau, who is creating bizarre, mutated half-human creatures.
Thankfully, the film's failure doesn't rest on Thewlis' shoulders.
That's down to Brando's laziness, the film's haphazard construction,
and a muddled and meandering story. But perhaps most importantly, it's just plain
boring. If Thewlis could back out of this one retroactively, we have no doubt he would.
"This is the most outrageous spectacle I have ever witnessed. Look at yourself!"
Actress Imelda Staunton went from little-known character actor to most-hated woman in households
everywhere when she gave her first performance as the prudish professor
Dolores Umbridge. But just four years before she came to fame in the Wizarding World, Staunton
made a little film she now probably wishes she could make disappear, "The Virgin of Liverpool."
You'd be forgiven for thinking this one was a groan-worthy adult comedy given
its title and place on this list, but it's actually about a statue of the Virgin Mary.
The film centers on a young girl who discovers the statue when it is being discarded by a priest
during renovations of his church. While her family is annoyed by the statue she brings home, it gets
attention from the community for apparently performing an active miracle in a chip shop.
Aspiring to be a sappy sentimental family movie, it ends up a groaner of a story that
looks incredibly cheap. So it comes as no surprise to learn that the filmmakers made the movie just a
few weeks after finding a random script on the internet. Thankfully, it wasn't bad enough to
prevent Staunton from being cast as one of Harry Potter's most delightfully loathsome characters.
"Deep down, you deserve to be punished, don't you, Mr. Potter."
Even more renowned than Dame Maggie Smith, Sir Richard Harris led the first two "Harry Potter"
pictures as the wise, gentle wizard Dumbledore before the star's unfortunate passing. But decades
before he stepped onto Hogwarts' grounds, Harris appeared in some of Hollywood's finest films, from
classics like "The Guns of Navarone" and "Mutiny on the Bounty" to modern greats like "Unforgiven"
and "Patriot Games." But of course, like everyone else on this list, he's got at least one that he
would take back if he could. In Harris' case, it's the adventure movie, "Tarzan, The Ape Man."
A modern reinterpretation of the classic novel by Edgar Rice Burroughs, the film is not the rousing,
tree-swinging adventure fans might have wanted or even expected. That's because oddly enough,
Tarzan himself isn't even the star of the movie, with the story instead focusing on his female
companion Jane, and Harris playing her father here. With Bo Derek cast in the role of Jane,
the producers turned the film into little more than softcore titillation.
It's packed with enough uncomfortable adult situations to make even John Waters blush.
Derek was impressed with Harris' professionalism and performance,
despite the horrid script. She even told Entertainment Weekly:
"The picture was doomed. [...] But Richard gave it his all anyway."
Just 11 years old when he was cast as Ron Weasley in "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone,"
Rupert Grint hasn't achieved the same level of box office stardom as his co-star Emma Watson. Nor has
he appeared in highly acclaimed arthouse films like Daniel Radcliffe. He's preferred instead
to stick to roles in prestige television projects, such as "The ABC Murders" with John Malkovich and
"Snatch," a series adapted from the Guy Ritchie film. But back when he was just getting started
in "Harry Potter," Grint also starred in another children's fantasy film: "Thunderpants," which
is about a boy who can't stop farting. Needless to say, it didn't become a cinematic classic.
While Grint does not take the title role in "Thunderpants," he does play the best friend,
a child scientist who helps the tooter deal with his worrisome wind-breaking.
In fairness to Grint, this ridiculous romp isn't all that terrible. It's a fairly fun
children's flick that will at least leave you laughing from the ludicrous light-hearted gags.
But with Grint attempting a more serious and dramatic career,
this can't be a movie he's proud to trot out for his new fans to watch.