we all love good dialogue in films but
way back with the Greeks before there
was dialogue there was monologue these
are the top ten movie monologues of all
time
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kicking is off at number 10 we're
looking at some of the funniest
monologues that ever hit the screen and
that might be Dustin Hoffman's coming
out on twit C or Brad Pitt's half-baked
introduction to the insane asylum from
12 monkeys electrically operated sexual
device or the hilariously alliterative
introduction of v1 the homage to the
swimsuit area from Teen America world
police the dicks the opening monologue
from Annie Hall is an old joke or even
one of the bajillion hysterical
monologues from dr. Strangelove I am as
sorry as you are the new food but our
pick actually goes to the Dalai Lama
monologue delivered by the hilariously
bizarre Bill Murray and penned by his
brother Brian doyle-murray as well as
Douglas Kenny and Harold Ramos so a
gentleman approached jack
then who do you think they gave me the
Dali Lama although a monologue is
rumored to be pure improv by Murray it
can be found in the earliest drafts of
the script although mr. Murray did put
his own spin on the most interesting
rumor however is that during a visit by
the Dalai Lama governor Jesse Ventura
asked him if he'd ever seen Caddyshack
the Lama said no but allegedly leaned
over to Jessie at the end of their
meeting and whispered just one thing
Ganga Ganga so I got that
next up at number 9 we're looking at
voiceover a not quite universally loved
non-diegetic narration on top of a film
most frequently used to book into peace
my friends god help of course that's
from adaptation which happens to open
with one of the best examples of
voice-over of all time do I have an
original thought in my head my dad but
then again there's also the beginning of
Goodfellas as far back as I can remember
I always wanted to be a gangsters or
train spotter she's like and the end of
American Beauty it's hard to stay mad
there's so much beauty in the world and
interspersed in various places
throughout Fight Club this is your life
and it's ending one minute at a time but
our favorite voiceover of all time has
to be the sublime ending read by one of
cinema's greatest voices from The
Shawshank Redemption get busy living or
get busy dying
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that's goddamn right
I hope I can make it across the border I
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hope to see my friend and shake his hand
I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has
been in my dreams I hope
we all know that movie villains love to
monologue they love to glow to reveal
their master plan to expose their
machinations and taunt the hero so
coming in at number eight we're honoring
the best of the worst the top villain
monologues out there and that could have
been the Joker's explanation for his
scars hi
Daniel day-lewis is homage to his
favorite frozen drink I drink your
milkshake threats from Denzel King Kong
hey psycho analysis from Hannibal Lecter
looking a rule a lesson on fashion from
Faye Dunaway or the tropes a version of
Ozymandias you seriously think I'd
explain my masterstroke even the
slightest possibility effective but for
our pick we think this one's got to be a
tie between two of Hollywood's greatest
shouders both yelling at God
both scaring the [ __ ] out of audiences
everywhere we're talking about Al Pacino
and Robert De Niro in the devil's
advocate and Cape Fear let me give you a
little inside information both blaspheme
in their own ways insulting God and
insisting upon their own omnipotence
their own unstoppable power their
terrifyingly performed brilliantly
written and impossible to choose between
which is why they both share this slot
he's a sadist
he's an absentee landlord he cannot
above me no baby here baby
worship that never next up at number
seven we're looking at all things love
sex and romance and as far as monologues
go we've got a lot of choices there the
ever-popular confessions of love
including classics from Jerry Maguire up
here and of course When Harry Met Sally
thing is I love there's Felicity Jones's
poem from like crazy
slippered will container semi-precious
Egon isn't it there's the wonderful
blessing of an interracial marriage by
the bride's father and guess who's
coming to dinner the only thing that
matters is what they feel and the erotic
fantasies of Nicole Kidman and Eyes Wide
Shut but as far as sexy goes there's
nothing in the world that beats Bibi
Anderson's confession of an affair from
Ammar Bergman's persona
and Annika Lanica ducked into stone so
you can adjust and Vanessa
seriously this monologue is possibly the
most erotic sequence ever filmed yet
there isn't even a single frame of
suggestive nudity do to a boy kiss him
taped up or satin left again
so when the Sun break it's also sad
brutally honest and deeply confusing
which makes it the perfect kind of deep
psychosexual analysis that you Freud
would love speaking of Freud or whatever
a graceful segue from sex to death works
for you now we're going to talk about
the serious tearjerkers so for our
number six we'd like to honor some of
the monologues that make us wonder who's
chopping onions there Schindler's
heartbreaking what if Ellen Burstyn
tragic fantasy from requiem for a dream
what if I got Ari and brando's regrets
of a squandered career from on the
waterfront I could have been a contender
when Lou Gehrig finally said goodbye in
the pride of the Yankees with Jack
Nicholson finally talked with his father
and five Easy Pieces I don't know what
to say when Tom bid farewell to his
mother in Grapes of Wrath I'll be there
but our pick for the most sobering of
them all is Robin Williams Park Bench
monologue from Good Will Hunting thought
about what you said to me the other day
about my painting honest inspiring
heartbreaking yet hopeful Williams is
unforgettable speech breaks daymond down
breaks us all down and speaks to a depth
of sorrow that we'll never know it was a
truly brilliant moment from a dearly
missed man and an entry we're proud to
have on our list I can't learn anything
from you I can't read in some [ __ ]
book unless you want to talk about you
who you are
and I'm fascinated I mean if you've
turned on the internet lately you know
that there's one kind of monologue
people can't get enough up the
inspirational speech and that
inspiration comes in many forms from a
teacher like in Dead Poets Society and
lean on me we made our fate together or
a father like in pursuit of happiness
don't ever let somebody tell you you
can't do something from a coach like in
any given Sunday find out life's is game
edges you're just a janitor like in Rudy
and it's my time you have to prove
nothing to nobody except yourself from a
Wall Street fat cat read for lack of a
better word is good or a Salesman tour
if you like your inspiration abusive you
can't close [ __ ] you wash it or even
historically challenged fraternity but
for our number five we're handing it to
the advice given by a boxing champion to
his son from Rocky Balboa let me tell
you something you already know the world
ain't all sunshine and rainbows it's a
very mean and nasty place and I don't
care how tough you are it will beat you
to your knees and keep you there
permanently if you let it but it ain't
about how hard you hit it's about how
hard you can get hit and keep moving
forward how much you can take and keep
moving forward that's how weird it is
done of course sometimes inspiration
isn't enough sometimes the characters
beyond their breaking point and it's
time to just throw up their hands and
say [ __ ] which quite literally happens
in the minister's eulogy from Synecdoche
New York and even more so in ed Norton's
mirror tirade from the 25th our cue in
this whole city and in the opening
letter from Michael Clayton is a
different but equally awesome kind of
break to try and make
Eve this is not just madness because
this is not just madness but our pick
for number four goes to the volcanic
literary and vestian pairing of paddy
Chayefsky and Peter Finch in network for
Finch's call to action that he's mad as
hell and well you know pounding down to
number three there's nothing that we
love more than a good story told right
and because screenwriters are paid to
tell stories sometimes they find ways to
tell stories in their stories which
sounds exactly like what pimp your ride
the movie would be like there's bonus
Sarah's story about his daughter from
the very beginning of the Godfather ie I
went to the police like I could die
medically and Anne Hathaway's
devastating confession from Rachel
Getting Married hi I'm Ken I'm an addict
as Christopher Walken's ridiculously
awesome story of the gold watch from
pulp fiction so he hid it in one place
he knew he could hide something his ass
and radio Rahim's story of love and hate
from do the right thing we tell you the
story of drag and Lefty
which actually comes almost directly
from the much older night of the hunter
you'd like me to tell you the little
story of right hand left hand but for
our pick we landed on Quinn story of the
USS Indianapolis from Jaws you know the
thing about a shaggy chilling eerie and
absolutely classic you can think the
uncredited writer Howard Sackler for the
idea behind the bomb and the
Indianapolis which was based on the
truth anyway
closing in at number two if there's one
kind of speech that saturates movie
monologue list its of the military kind
if movies were real life soldiers would
spend more time practicing elocution
than sharp shooting we're talking
gladiator Braveheart Lord of the Ring
the opening a patent no bastard ever
wanna war by dying country the Napalm
morning in Apocalypse Now in the morning
the president's address from
Independence Day today
there's the drill sergeants extended
reading of his new recruits from Full
Metal Jacket and Tom Hanks is brilliant
disarming of his troops tempers from
Saving Private Ryan pull on me up to
right but our slot is filled by a man
far more famous for his actions than his
words with his first ever all sound film
none other than Charlie Chaplin from the
Great Dictator greed has poisoned men's
souls has barricaded the world with hate
has goose-stepped us into misery and
bloodshed and no we're not talking about
the hilarious fake German speech that
Chaplin gives as adenoid hynkel we're
the only actual German words were things
like Wiener schnitzel blitzkrieg but the
beautiful and inspiring condemnation of
fascism made by Schulz at the end and
finally at number one if there's one
setting more known for its extended
soliloquies than the battlefield in
Hollywood it's got to be the courtroom
there's Atticus benches defense of Tom
Robinson from tequila Mockingbird all
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the murderers defense of himself from M
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Leafs stirring filibuster and mr. Smith
goes to Washington a few great Pacino
yelling moments from injustice for all
and simple woman but our absolute
favorite Court moment of all time goes
to the mind-blowing moral ambiguity of
Jack Nicholson from a few good men
answers handle the truth here's a
brilliant speech from a so called
villain doing something absolutely
terrible that somehow seems to make
almost too much sense this was Aaron
Sorkin's breakout film adapted from his
own stage play and all the write early
star power that he went on to command
clearly shows through here son we live
in a world that has walls and those
walls have to be guarded by men with
guns
who's gonna do it you you lieutenant
Weinberg I have a greater responsibility
than you can possibly fathom you don't
want the truth because deep down in
places you don't talk about it parties
you want me on that wall you need me on
that wall the script is brilliant Jack
Nicholson's performance is pitch perfect
and it's a perfect capstone on an
awesome movie which is why we think it's
the best movie monologue of all time so
what do you think do you disagree with
one of our choices do we leave out one
of your favorite monologues let us know
in the comments below and be sure to
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you
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