-Now, Joseph Gordon-Levitt has been giving
amazing movie performances since he was a kid.
I mean, come on. In fact, he's so talented,
I think he could even put a new spin
on some of the most iconic movie quotes ever
in another edition of "Hot Celebs, Cold Reads."
[ Cheers and applause ]
Now, Joseph, if you're down, I would love for you to do
a little mock audition with me
with some classic Hollywood lines.
-Okay. -Amazing.
You stand right over there, please.
-All right. -I will be over here.
Let's start with you just slating, please.
-Yeah, I remember I used to slate all the time.
It went like, "Hi. My name is Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
I'm 7 years old, and I'm represented
by Abrams-Rubaloff and Lawrence."
-Aww. Amazing. Amazing.
-That got me some parts. -Now first off --
First off, let's start with "The Wizard of Oz."
-Oh, nice.
-If you could just give me a cold read.
-[ Cackles evilly ]
I'll get you my pretty! And your little dog, too!
-Wow. -[ Cackles evilly ]
-I love it. I love it.
Now, let's try one where maybe you're delivering the line
but you're consoling a friend.
Ready? And action.
-[Softly] I'll get you, my pretty.
And your little dog, too.
[ Laughter ]
-Thank you. Let's try one more. -Okay.
-Let's imagine now you're delivering the line
but you're having a temper tantrum.
All right? And action.
-[Shouting] I'll get you, my pretty!
And your little dog, too!
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Nice! Nice! -Thank you, thank you.
-Alright, this next one is from "Taxi Driver."
Just give me a cold read.
-Okay. [ Inhales sharply ]
You talkin' to me?
Are you talkin' -- Are you talkin' to me?
There's no one else here.
Who the [bleep] are you talkin' to if you're not talkin' to me?!
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Now, imagine you're delivering this line
but it's a Broadway musical.
And...action.
-♪ Are you talking to me? ♪
♪ Are you talking to me? ♪
♪ Are you talking to ♪
♪ M-e-e-e-e? ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Nice. Nice! Wow.
You know what? I'm just going to do one more for funsies.
-Okay.
-Just the "You're talkin' to me."
Let's pretend you're delivering this line,
but let's say you are, I don't know,
late-night talk-show host Lilly Singh. Okay.
Ready? Make it pretty now. And action.
-Are you talkin' to me?! Are you talking to me?!
Are you talkin' to me? Are you talking to me?!
Are you talking to me?! Are you talking to me?!
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Ha ha!
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
Wow! Wow.
I am fabulous!
Yes!
All right. Here's your next one.
This one is from a classic. "Mean Girls."
Just give me a cold read.
-[ Clears throat ]
Stop trying to make "fetch" happen.
-Nice.
Now let's pretend that you're delivering the line
but you have a bad wedgie.
And...action.
[ Laughter ]
-Stop --
Stop try--
Stop tryin' to make "fetch" happen.
-[ Laughs ] Let's do one more.
Pretend that you are delivering the news in an active hurricane.
And...action.
-Stop trying -- Stop -- Stop trying to make "fetch" happen!
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Incredible. Incredible.
We got one more. We got one more.
-Okay.
-I really appreciate your commitment.
-It's all about commitment. -It's all about committing.
-You wanna know one thing about acting?
That's the one word you need to know.
-Commitment. That's what's up.
Our last one here is from "Forrest Gump."
-I sound like such an [bleep] saying that.
-No, you don't. You sound great. Give me a cold read.
-Well, so wait? So this is the line from "Forrest Gump."
-Mm-hmm. -But this is a line,
if I remember right, is delivered by Sally Field,
Forrest's mom. -Mm!
-Okay, so I'm not going to do the Forrest Gump voice.
-Okay.
-[ Clears throat ] It's like -- She's, like, in bed.
-Oh, yeah.
-Forrest, life is like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
It's subtle. She keeps it subtle.
-I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying.
Now, could you deliver it -- - -Oh, you didn't want it subtle?
-Well, I want -- I want to see your range, Joe.
-I understand. -I want to see your range.
Could you deliver it
where you are narrating a nature documentary?
And...action.
-[As David Attenborough] Life is like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're going to get.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-That was incredible. One more, one more. Last one.
We're going to finish off strong here, okay?
-Okay. -I want you to deliver the line
as if you just broke up with me, you broke my heart,
and now you're trying to make me feel better.
[ Laughter ]
Okay. Hello.
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Laughter ]
-Thank you...
-Life -- it's like a box of chocolates.
-Mm-hmm.
-You never know what you're gonna get.
-Okay.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Bye. -Thank you.
[ Laughs ] Oh, my goodness.
If I had any Oscars, I would give you one.
Give it up for Joseph. That was "Hot Celebs, Cold Reads."
Thank you so much, Joe.