- There's a difference between surface level attraction
and deeper attraction.
Surface level attraction is like a hit of candy.
You take that candy, the candy tastes good for the moment,
you're chewing it and you swallow it.
And then 30 seconds later,
your brain tells you, I need more candy.
I want different candy.
And it goes away.
Deeper level attraction has staying power.
And so today, we're going to talk about three habits
that make you more attractive instantly.
And these are three habits
that create that deeper level attraction.
Check it out.
(smooth music)
Hey there, this is Mat Boggs,
and I'm the founder of the Love & Relationship Division
of the Brave Thinking Institute,
where our mission is "Empowering you
to create a life you love," and that includes your love life.
And so have you ever noticed
that there are some days you wake up
and you're ready to take on the world?
You're in a good mood, you're feeling confident.
You move throughout your day.
And it's like people notice you.
You ignite people, you lift them up,
and people are attracted to you.
There's people who approach you.
A man might come up to you and ask you out.
And then there are other days
when you just don't really feel like yourself.
And you might get up and put on your clothes
and do your makeup and head out for the day,
but you're just not in a good mood
and you create a much different result.
Well, each of us has an internal light, so to speak.
And when we shine that light to the world,
we become attractive, not just to romantic partners,
but to opportunities, to life in general;
and yes, to people that we want to have a relationship with.
And the brighter that light shines,
the more attractive you are.
The dimmer that light, the less attractive you are.
And this is the deeper inner attraction
that we're talking about.
And so we're going to talk about three habits
that can help you dial up your inner light
and magnetize your attraction
to someone that you're interested in.
And so we're going to place these three habits
in the categories of mind, body, and spirit.
So let's talk about mind.
The first mental habit is to look for the good
instead of what's missing.
In life, you have a choice.
You can either look for the good that's in your life;
look for the blessings, look for what you have,
or you can focus on what's missing.
And what's fascinating is,
just based on where you place your attention,
based on whether you're focused on what you have
or you're focused on what's missing,
either dial up or dial down that inner light that you have.
You either become more positive, more grateful,
more activated in your liveliness, or you become dimmer.
You become more cynical, you become frustrated.
Having looking for the good, the things you have,
have-vibration is an attractive vibration.
What's missing comes from lack,
and a lack-vibration repels the love that you want.
So when you go to your closet in the morning,
little thoughts like, oh, I have nothing to wear.
And you're flipping through all your clothes
and the thought is, I have nothing to wear.
I have nothing to wear.
Or it's, wow, I feel so blessed to have these clothes
that I'm able to put on today.
You go to the fridge and you're looking in the fridge.
You're like, I have nothing to eat.
There's no food in here.
Little thoughts like that, just notice those thoughts,
versus, wow, I feel so blessed to have this food
that I can either eat in the fridge
or order something online and have it delivered.
So notice, do you have to go to work
or do you get to go to work, because you have a great job?
Those emotions of obligation.
I have to do this, I have to do this workout
versus, I get to.
Look for the good in any given situation
instead of what's missing.
When you go on a date,
are you automatically looking at the qualities
that the guy's missing?
Or even if you know this guy is going to work out long-term,
cause yourself to focus on the things
that you appreciate about him.
Focus on the things that you like, the good that's there:
his kindness, he was on time, he's respectful;
all of the things that's good.
And you will begin to amplify those things
and attract more of that into your life.
The second phase is our body.
What's your relationship with your body?
Do you love your body?
Do you hate your body?
Is there part of your body that you love?
Is there part of your body that you're unhappy with?
The better relationship that you can create with your body,
the more attractive that you will be.
Because attraction, especially deeper attraction,
has way less to do about your physical appearance
and has way more to do about how you feel
about your physical appearance.
Consider this.
Our body is our connection point to this physical life,
because you and I are spiritual beings
having a human experience.
And so it's through this human physical body
that we experience life.
So if you feel bad about your body,
then ultimately, you feel bad about life.
Or the worst,
you simply numb out your connection point to life,
which is, I don't like my body.
And there's a whole part of your energy,
your attraction force that you leave untapped
because of your disconnect with your body.
So one of the easiest things to do
to begin loving your body is to move your body, to exercise,
to get your blood pumping, to get your heart rate increased,
your sweat going.
that not only physically makes you feel better,
but energetically changes things for you.
I actually saw this firsthand over this last year.
There was a period where my wife and I had gotten busy
and she wasn't exercising the way that she normally does.
And I could see it in her mood.
And she was describing as feeling just not herself.
And then one week, her mood improved,
she was feeling better.
And quite frankly, her whole, that inner light,
her attractive energy was dialed all the way up.
And I was like, wow, what's going on with you, babe?
And she was like, you know what?
I've just decided to start exercising again.
And I've been going on this three mile loop.
I'm doing this walk.
And her whole mood had increased.
This light was emitting from her.
And it was this incredible shift that had happened for her
simply because she was now having a better relationship
with her body.
She was feeling sexier.
She was feeling better.
And that feeling transmitted to me
and activated my feeling for her in a whole different way.
It was very powerful.
So my question for you is,
if you want to activate that attraction energy,
how are you feeling about your body,
and what is your relationship with your body?
One easy habit to get into?
Start exercising even if it's just walking,
and notice the shifts that happen.
And the third habit has to do with our spirit;
mind, body spirit.
This third habit is to love yourself just as you are.
You're a spiritual being, having this human experience.
You are designed perfectly by your creator.
And yet we are often the hardest on ourselves.
We will often condemn, criticize ourselves.
We'll have that inner critic, that self-talk
that's way harder on ourselves than it would be anyone else.
And when we can shift that script,
when we can begin to love ourselves for who we are,
as we are.
Even the part of you that you don't love,
love that part of you,
because love is greater than any emotion.
Love is greater than any experience.
So when you surround yourself in love,
even the parts of you that you have a hard time loving,
it changes your vibration.
You're able to dial up your light even more.
And here's what's fascinating.
When you love yourself as you are,
that vibration connects to other people.
They can feel that love and acceptance for who you are.
It helps them love and accept themselves for who they are.
And that vibration feels good, because guess what?
That's what everybody wants.
The deepest need everyone has is to feel enough:
to be loved and accepted as they are.
And as you give yourself that gift,
that vibration then stretches out, connects to other people;
and they not only love and accept themselves better,
but they then return that love and acceptance for you.
It's this beautiful secret power
for radiating your light in greater degrees.
And men will say, wow, there's just something about her.
She feels so natural.
She feels so comfortable in her skin.
She's just so authentic.
These types of things that men feel drawn to,
they feel magnetized.
It is not about the shiny hair and the red lipstick
and all that stuff.
These are deeper level attractions that happen
that create this a magnetic power,
this staying power that transforms relationships.
So mind, body, spirit.
Let me ask you,
what mind, body, and spirit habits have you found
that increase your attractiveness?
Go ahead and post that in the comment section below.
I appreciate you.
Thanks for watching, I'll see you soon.
(smooth music)