- [Narrator] Is beauty only skin deep?
There might not be a universal answer to this question,
but research in psychology clearly shows
that it's not just a beautiful face
that makes us attractive.
Our personality, behavior, attitudes,
they all create a constellation of traits
that influence how others see us.
But no matter if you're as pretty as a picture,
some not so pretty habits could make people look away.
What are those habits
that might make you seem unattractive?
Keep watching to find out.
"I'll go next time."
Some days you just don't feel like being social.
Like, at all.
Your co-workers or school friends
invite you to hang out
and you come up with an excuse and run home.
Maybe the introvert in you is having an extra hard day,
or you just wanna watch Netflix by yourself.
And that's totally fine.
But what if it happens too often?
Social psychology suggests
that avoiding spending time with others
is not a good strategy if you'd like to be attractive.
According to the mere-exposure effect,
we tend to prefer things we see often.
In a classic 1992 experiment,
students who attended class more often
were more liked by their colleagues
simply because they were seen more often.
There's also the principle of proximity liking.
It means that we tend to become fond of others
when we have repeated contact with them.
A 2008 research study published in Psychological Science
found that students who sit next to each other in class
are more likely to become friends.
Bottom line, don't reject that coffee
next time you're invited.
"Look at me!"
Being confident is certainly something to strive for,
but being overly confident,
maybe not so much.
Psychotherapist Richard Joelson said in an article
for Psychology Today
that we tend to think of people who boast as arrogant,
self-preoccupied, or even insecure.
So if you can't stop talking
about your achievements or success,
you may unintentionally come off as full of yourself.
A 2014 study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology
had two groups of people read descriptions
of hypothetical students.
Some descriptions were confident, but humble.
For example, "I'm a pretty good student,
but not a bookworm."
Other people say, "I'm smart,
but I don't like the attention."
And others shown a bit of a boasting vibe.
"I'm really good student and pretty smart,
but definitely not a nerd or bookworm.
I guess it just comes naturally."
Later in the experiment,
participants showed greater interest
in starting a relationship with students
whose descriptions appeared more humble.
So make sure you don't brag too much in front of others.
It may sound just a bit off putting.
2 AM Club.
Is your nighttime routine consist of scrolling
through TikTok or watching YouTube videos until 2 AM,
then trying to silently make popcorn
followed by a few episodes of your favorite show?
If this sounds like you,
you should maybe rethink this habit.
Research published in the journal BMJ in 2010
investigated the attractiveness
of sleep deprived individuals.
The researchers took photos of two groups of people:
those who'd slept for eight hours the night before
and the sleep-deprived one who hadn't slept in 31 hours.
Participants of the study then had to rate those photos.
As expected, they rated the sleep-deprived people
as looking less healthy and less attractive.
It seems like skimping on sleep won't get you that date.
Glass half empty.
We all get sucked into a state of pessimism
from time to time.
Talking about how you feel
can make you feel relieved in a way.
But, is this habit viewed as attractive?
Well, not so much.
In 2007, German researchers developed a study
in which they had participants listened
to some tape recorded conversations.
The tapes had optimistic, realistic,
and pessimistic people talking about
how they were dealing with stressful situations.
After listening, participants filled out a questionnaire
in which they evaluated the personality
and attractiveness of the people they listened to.
The results showed that if they listened to optimistic
and realistic people,
they viewed them much more favorably than pessimistic ones.
So even if you're not the most optimistic
and cheerful person,
landing a balance between black and white
by being at least realistic
could make you seem more attractive
than simply indulging in negativity.
Non-pickup lines.
Is it sexy to be sexist?
And this is how researchers named their 2020 study
published in The Journal of Personal Relationships.
And the answer, it's a clear no.
The study showed that sexist humor,
when directed to the opposite gender,
comes off as unattractive and even aggressive.
Even if you don't mean it in a bad way,
joking about gender stereotypes or gender roles
can make the other person roll their eyes, cringe,
and try to get as far away from you as possible.
That doesn't mean you shouldn't ever joke, of course.
Just make sure your jokes are tasteful
and not hurting any group of people.
Do you recognize some of these behaviors in yourself?
If you do, don't worry.
Every day is a new opportunity to learn and grow.
Changing some unattractive and unhealthy habits
might draw others towards you.
But most importantly,
it would make you feel great in your own skin.
You can check out older videos
to learn about 10 surprising habits
that make you more attractive.
And remember, no matter what,
psych thinks you're a real treat.
And don't ever forget,
you matter.