-You guys, we have David Spade on the show tonight.
[ Cheers and applause ]
One of the funniest guys I ever met.
Charlie Puth is performing tonight.
[ Cheers and applause ]
And Lily James is here, as well. Lily James.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Lily is the star of the new movie
"Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again."
[ Cheers and applause ]
Of course, "Mamma Mia! Here we go again"
is also President Trump's 2020 campaign slogan.
So it's like, "Mama mia." [ Laughter and applause ]
Actually, last night, Trump returned home
from his trip to Finland.
Yeah, Trump walked into the White House
and immediately texted Putin that he got home safe.
That was nice. [ Laughter and applause ]
But after trump threw U.S. Intelligence agencies
under the bus in Finland,
there were protesters outside the White House,
shouting "Go back to Russia."
[ Laughter ]
But don't worry -- the Secret Service
was able to get Melania to quiet down.
[ Laughter ]
"You've got things to do."
[ Applause ]
That's right, people are not happy with Trump
for siding with Russia over his own intelligence agencies,
so today, he tried to do some damage control.
But check out what happened
while he was trying to tell reporters
that he still respects U.S. intelligence.
This really happened, watch.
-Once again, full faith and support
for America's intelligence agencies.
I have a full faith in our intelligence agencies.
[ Laughter ]
Whoops. They just turned off the lights.
That must be the intelligence agents.
[ Laughter and applause ] -What?
Dude, that's real. That's real.
At this point, even electricity is distancing itself from Trump.
That's -- That's when you know --
[ Laughter and applause ]
The lights went out.
Yeah, trump is really trying to backpedal.
He said he wants to clarify his comments about Russian hacking,
but I'm not so sure that he did that.
Take a look at what he said.
-In a key sentence in my remarks,
I said the word "would" instead of "wouldn't."
The sentence should have been "I don't see any reason
why I wouldn't," or, "why it wouldn't be Russia."
The sentence should have been,
"I don't see any reason why it wouldn't be Russia."
Sort of a double negative.
[ Laughter ]
-Well, that should clear things up.
[ Laughter ]
"Would, would not, would.
I wouldn't say it's a double negative.
Wouldn't would not.
I would not not say it."
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, God. -[ Laughs ]
Last night, Putin did an interview
with Chris Wallace, from Fox News.
And a lot of people noticed that Wallace really
went after Putin, and it got pretty tense.
Take a look.
-Is the G.R.U. not part of the Russian state?
-[ Speaking Russian ]
I'll get to it.
Just have a little -- a little bit of patience,
and you'll get a full answer.
-I'm not asking whether they influenced.
I am asking whether they tried.
-If you'll have some patience, you'll hear the entire response.
-Whoa. [ Light laughter ]
Good for him. He wasn't afraid to stand up
to Putin, despite knowing his reputation.
Anyways, let's check in on Chris Wallace's show today.
-Welcome back to "Special Report"
with Chris Wallace.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Well, I'm sure...
I'm sure he's fine, I'm sure he's fine.
He's great. [ Applause ]
Get this, guys -- a brewery in Finland
actually created a special beer
in honor of yesterday's Trump/Putin summit.
When they heard that, some other beers
wanted to commemorate the summit, as well,
so they released new slogans
that were inspired by the meeting.
Check these out. Guinness' new slogan is...
There you go. [ Laughter and applause ]
Next up.
Miller Lite's new slogan is...
[ Laughter and applause ]
Next, O'Doul's new slogan is...
[ Laughter and applause ]
And finally, Samuel Adams's new slogan is...
There you go. [ Laughter, cheers, applause ]
Interesting. That's...
I hear that, in honor of World Emoji Day,
Apple is actually releasing a bunch of new emojis,
like a peacock, a mango, and a cupcake.
Well, here with his own ideas for new emojis
is our World Emoji Day correspondent,
Julio Torres, everybody.
[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪
Wow. -Wow.
-Julio Torres is here. Welcome back.
-Hello. -Welcome back.
Julio, you have been here a few times with some great ideas,
and I hear that now you have some suggestions for new emojis.
-Yes, I do. -Okay, good.
We would love to hear them.
-Okay, well, you know how there's an emoji
that's like a little face with its tongue sticking out?
-Uh-huh. -Well how about one
that has it's tongue sticking out
but the tongue has a piercing, and he's asking his boyfriend,
"Wait. Does this look infected to you?"
[ Laughter ]
-Interesting. Now...
[ Laughter ]
There are other examples, right? Of new emojis?
-Yes, yes, yes, of course. They get simpler.
Um, okay.
How about an emoji we can all use?
Like, for example, a Hobbit holding that ring
from "Lord of the Rings" and being like,
"Oh, I actually don't do gold, but thank you."
[ Laughter and applause ]
-I'm shocked that that doesn't exist already.
-Yeah. -Do you have any other
maybe simpler, more simpler emoji ideas?
-Yes, I do. How about one of
the planet Jupiter learning that scientists
refer to it is a gassy giant and being like, "Wow, okay."
[ Laughter and applause ]
Or, or, or -- okay. Well, how about one
that's a copy of "The New York Times"
with a square-shaped hole where a bad review used to be,
which your assistant cut out to protect your feelings.
-These are all great emojis. [ Laughter and applause ]
I'm shocked that they don't exist already.
-Or, or, or perhaps one of someone
who sprained their wrists by furiously writing a check,
tearing it from the checkbook and going,
"I trust this will suffice."
[ Laughter ]
-"I trust this will suffice." Yeah.
These are great, Julio, but we only have time for one more.
I am getting a note from our director.
We only have time for one more.
-I don't think I heard it, but, okay, just one more.
[ Laughter ]
How about an emoji of a Disney princess being like,
"Wait. What? I have to pose for another backpack?
When does this contract even end?"
[ Laughter and applause ]
-"Tonight Show" World Emoji Day correspondent Julio Torres!
[ Cheers and applause ]
My hand's good. Everything's great.
Julio Torres.
Julio Torres, everybody, right there.
And finally, everybody, I read about a couple in Florida
that's getting married, and instead of wedding presents,
they've asked for money to buy goats.
[ Laughter ]
Even crazier, one couple they invited was like,
"Finally, a chance to regift this goat."
We have a great show tonight.
Give it up for The Roots, everybody!