hello I'm Steve O'Donnell yes of Steve's picks and here are some more picks I could really
do these forever there's so many things that I liked I'm going to particularly focus on
the peculiar Savory unsung items from the first few years of Late Night with David Letterman
on NBC when you do a late night comedy variety talk show you have to have index cards and
if you even talk about a late night comedy variety talk show it really helps to have
the index cards three by five two by three five by seven but you gotta have the cards
blue I've seen them try salmon I don't think it works of course we see a lot of Bill Murray
Clips over the years from The Late Night show but there were two or three bits in the first
few months of the show that I had a hand in and and are close to my heart the first one
seems like a terrible idea now I suggested simply that Dave and bill become Blood Brothers
which I'm sure the Board of Health would would frown on now do we have to go through with
this [Applause] ah well see it's hard where I may need a checkup I ouch damn oh here we
go all right thank you
I got it too all right all right now let's
this of course is actual blood and a little ketchup
there we go [Music] [Applause] okay I think the NBC nurse was on hand for that and what
a character because she was kind of a chain smoker in fact the whole the whole staff in
those days it was like all these writers in their 20s and then the floor crew was all
these guys in their 60s with sort of 1930s and 40s Metropolitan New York accents and
and it was just the greatest contrast because they were these great kind of character types
that we could use and show on camera which I don't think other shows had done that much
uh up till then a much more prepared bit for Bill Murray we had had our viewer mail segment
in the act one where there's a lot of uh theater people wearing costumes and playing parts
and when Bill Murray came on to do his guest segment in the act two he wanted to bring
the the whole cast of viewer mail out for just one more Curtain Call so he calls them
out but there was a problem wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute what's the problem
you two weren't in that bit no I don't wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute wait
a minute now here's what he's made of you two weren't in that bit you weren't up here
doing what they were doing giving and then giving and then giving some more you're up
you're just taking I got a Nutty Conquistador helmeton give me some respect no no why the
hell aren't you out there in the audience with the other saying yes yeah we love you
for giving get out of here the hell out of here get out
Steve Martin did so many great bits but I Savor some of the little throwaways like when
he was promoting the movie The Three Amigos he showed some of the merchandise tie-in promotional
items ah here's a good one this is the visible amigo okay
you're right they seem if nothing but it's what the public really wants exactly I always
liked some of the strange stilted uh bits we would do it didn't necessarily get laughs
from the audience but I thought that if people at home were like me they'd be savoring them
for a few months we borrowed items on loan from the American Museum of Natural History
and why they would go along with this I have no idea one of the items was a taxidermied
manta ray at the end of the week it gave a farewell speech which was narrated by uh one
of our rather shy staffers barbershian has a week gone by already the largest female
rough tail stingray ever caught by an amateur fisherman must now return to the museum but
shed no tears for me my life has been a full one I am proud of my many offspring some of
whom I have cannibalized and I am honored to have shared a stage with Alba Ballard and
her costumed Paris but my greatest Thrill is knowing that you like me you actually like
me thank you okay bye-bye thank you so much it's been a great week you can tell by the
eyeglasses I'm bookish I like books and we did a segment called bookmobile with our Scenic
designer Kathleen ankers as the library lady and with one of our say chance as Gruff but
lovable Gus let's look at three bookmobiles that I like oh here we have another big book
this one is a really good selling book this summer it's a favorite among history Buffs
it's called hell on stilts it's the story of the U.S Army's famous wooden Rangers the
high walking regiment that broke the back of Hitler's War Machine it's uh Library lady
do you know anything about the wooden Rangers I understand they did very well at anzio okay
you know books on feminism and women's issues are always of interest and and here's one
with a fresh perspective it's called woman's be thinking too much by Ike Turner
oh foreign [Music] this is a very impressive collection one of the most ambitious trilogies
ever written by a cranky old lady uh it's the privately published by Mrs Edna P Hessler
it's the three volume 2000 page collected complaints of Edna P Hessler here we have
volume number one which is called I don't feel well I tell you
volume number one volume number two those damn neighbor kids
and finally I think her most riveting work to date volume number three it's so terribly
damp
now just back to favorite people Paul Rubens as Pee-wee Herman all right see already you're
smiling you just hear me say Pee-wee Herman he did so many wonderful things [Applause]
I couldn't figure it out or anything but what was what was going on or anything so this
guy's right on my butt
[Applause]
here kid
thanks Joe we liked having little enhancements at the home base which means the desk where
Dave sits the ever inventive Randy Cohen suggested we have our own dancing waters which are these
musical fountains that have colored lights on them so we installed them in front of Dave's
desk
[Music] okay by the way it's for the for the crew filling in here tonight after the show
feel free to come on down here and wash up in the dancing waters all right there was
a problem the actual dancing waters people threatened us with a lawsuit and the NBC lawyers
said they had a pretty good case but maybe this is why I was the head writer I came up
with a solution to Simply change the name okay so we're going to change the name uh
you heard it from Charles kleinbaum good gosh what else can you do uh so we can no longer
refer to it as the dancing waters heretofore or here from now on you understand it will
be known as the Prancing fluids foreign
[Music]
[Music] here's a classic bit from a little later on a couple of years into the show but
it's where a mystery in the studio is revealed by stage manager Biff Henderson here we go
dear Dave what's that thing that looks like a fuse box that guests walk by on the way
to your desk a big fan Jim Marshall Carl placed Long Island New York uh I think you're right
if that's what you're talking about Jim I think it's just an old disconnected fuse box
is that what it is Biff right over there yeah right Dave I think it's just an old fuse box
or something that's all it is it's just an old fuse box yeah you know what Dave as a
matter of fact I don't even believe this thing is hooked up no I don't think so either just
an old not really anything though [Music]
a word that Dave sometimes like to use was untoward if something was untoward or unseemly
we tried a couple of bits that seemed like are these good ideas are they strange or are
they kind of fun for their for their unexpectedness here's two bits that involve our announcer
Bill Wendell all right fellas come on follow me nothing down here this is ridiculous just
come along there's just one more thing I want you to see and it's right this way bill there's
nothing there's nothing down here all right hands up let's have your wallets your hands
where I can see them yeah what are you talking about a while it's right now both of you YouTube
all of the jewelry come on screens are you kidding don't push your luck you Dave the
watch come on the watch oh bill it's a present from my uncle breaking my heart Dave hand
it over oh but Bill this is crazy you'll never get away with it don't make me laugh the ID
bracelet too everything you think that'll take your word over mine I better announcer
at this network for over 30 years now I'm going downstairs all right up the wall both
of you right now arms spread if I hear anything at all you're in trouble count to 500.
and I'm just gonna leave you right if I hear a word I'm going to let little Betsy do all
the talking
hey Dave are we going for a walk yeah that's right bro do me a favor there's a shovel in
the back seat get that okay and also there's a gun bring that along sure well that's it
great it's all done there it is great now what Dave now Bill we're going to let a little
daylight through you oh my God no Dave please let me ask you one question bill yeah you
ever heard of a TV show called bloopers and practical jokes yeah there's the camera right
there oh no come on where's the camera in here
see the ascent of birds instead of dwelling on the actual violence was an Artistic Touch
we might have gotten a Peabody for that one how about some actual genuine well kind of
genuine art Meryl Marco and Dave they had a couple of dogs Meryl had them filmed and
provided a narration and a voice over in the dog's frame of mind that was called Dog poetry
[Applause]
laughs
[Applause] I should also mention the nation of Bulgaria then a communist black dictatorship
sponsored an international humor Festival we submitted dog poetry and it won a prize
so Meryl got a big communist trophy from this uh Eastern Black Nation now from high ideals
to quick action here's a uh who asked for its segment where a uh obvious plant in the
audience asks for a Preposterous favor and uh Dave grants it well uh Dave I've seen you
a couple of times in the past throw your pencil through the window behind you well it looks
like fun I wondered if I could come down and give it a try sure if I can try out your accent
why not um here we go let's uh let's give you a pencil right here oh no no no man I
didn't mean your Wii pencils I mean a big man-sized pencil a men's size fence there
you go yeah okay a man-sized pencil sure how about a drum roll Anton a little drummer okay
now don't hurt yourself For Heaven's Sake here we go
[Music]
ah yes that was me in the Kilt the endless variation of certain bits that we would try
that involved getting a celebrity to cooperate and especially a musical celebrity where where
the where the musical kickoffs to completely ordinary comedy bits we even had super legitimate
talents like Henry Mancini compose a theme for us the viewer mail theme was written by
Henry Mancini and when it debuted it was conducted by him as well [Music] thank you
[Music] now if I can wrap things up in a way that's sort of inspiring I'd like to mention
something that writer Jeff Martin who wonderfully musical as many other writers were and Meryl
Marco I think of her as either the most artistic comedy writer I've ever known or the funniest
artist anyway they got together to create was supposed to be sort of mock-inspiring
I find it genuinely inspiring the late night Anthem there is a cool breeze blowing you
can feel it cross the land it's clear blue skies Grandma's eyes a place where you can
stand and late night is the reason our forefathers fought with pride it's surfing fun a dad and
son [Music] [Applause] [Music] foreign [Music] [Applause]
no that's all right knock yourself out uh see ya Hal ey good night neighborhood kids
messing with my flowers again uh Hi Neighbor hi Bill how's it going hey those little kids
around here have a trash yard Garden no they pretty much leave me alone bill yeah oh incidentally
could I borrow the charcoal grill oh sure take the coals and the starter it's all yours
anytime that's very kind thanks very much lawn looks great I did a lot of work on it
I know you have Bill thank you good night good night get in here and go to bed wall
of Jane a lovely woman oh Big Show tomorrow what do we got a boxer and a music guy yeah
yeah a lot of work there [Applause] Lights Out Mr Letterman oh yeah sure stupid Network
all these damn rules
and another thing to host the show to sit on the couch I wish they'd buy a trailer [Music]