- What if I told you that your mind
is actually wired to work against you?
As odd as that may seem, we actually have a natural bias
that overemphasizes negative experiences
while overlooking positive ones.
And I want to share with you, right now,
some simple habits that you can start today
that will actually reset your mind, reset your thinking,
so you can get what you want in life.
You see, people don't understand our wiring.
We are primitive people in very modern bodies,
but we're wired to be safe,
we're wired to resist change.
We are actually wired to resist
what is unfamiliar and to run back to what is familiar.
We see that with people who eat a terrible diet,
who procrastinate, or date the same wrong person
over and over again, because we are wired and coded
to go back to what is familiar
and to avoid what is unfamiliar,
only because it's unfamiliar.
And I tell people this a lot,
"If you put a little bit of silicone on your finger
"and shove it in your eye, that's really unfamiliar.
"Your eye goes, 'What have you done?'
"It starts to water, it wants to get that lens out of your eye
"because it's so unfamiliar.
"But if you persist with shoving something in your eye,
"you can make it familiar."
Bench pressing really heavy weights is very unfamiliar.
But if you do it all the time, it becomes familiar.
And when you have a two- year-old child, they go,
"I don't want that yogurt.
"It's not pink and it's got lumps in it
"and I only want it in this particular bowl,"
because a child is saying, "I don't know that food.
"That food is scary to me because, at two,
"I could just wander out on the prairie
"and eat berries and nuts, poisonous mushrooms.
"So only want to eat what I know."
We are hardwired to go back to what is comfortable
and to really avoid what is uncomfortable.
People who haven't found love
and haven't been raised by loving parents resist love.
People who've never been praised
actually resist praise and give themselves criticism,
"Oh, no. I don't know how I did that.
"I was terrible.
"No, that was just a fluke, it was just luck,
"I messed everything up, I always get everything wrong."
So you're going to learn, today, how to reset your mind,
how to focus on your assets, and how to understand
that you have incredible powers of changing your outlook
by making what is unfamiliar familiar
and what is uncomfortable comfortable.
You see, there's something called Parkinson's Law,
and Parkinson's Law says
that our work expands to fill the time allocated.
Imagine you decide, "Hey, it's Easter weekend,
"I'm going to spend that whole weekend spring cleaning my house,
"emptying out my closets, going through my paperwork,"
but because you've got too much time,
you'll potter and waste time.
Whereas if you have three hours,
you will power through and get it done.
I want you to think of your subconscious mind
as like a Ferrari or an incredible racehorse,
something beautiful, powerful, majestic,
extraordinary that can deliver outstanding stuff.
But if the conscious mind has never driven a Ferrari,
has never ridden a horse, you really won't have a clue
how to make that Ferrari, that horse,
which is your subconscious mind, go where you want it to go.
There's something called Hebb's Law that says
that neurons that fire together wire together.
So let me help you get your mind on board.
And before you go, "I just don't believe
"that my mind wants to work against me,"
I'll give you an example.
Your mind wants you to eat sugar, tons of sugar.
Your mind reminds you, "There's sugar in the fridge
"and it's really scarce," because several hundred years ago,
it was; honey wasn't a regular thing.
When we found it, we remembered where it was
and we kept going back for more until it had gone.
And to this day, we go, "There's Kit-Kats in the fridge,
"ice cream in the freezer, it's calling my name."
Your mind wants that to happen,
and the reason your mind wants you
to overemphasize negative experiences is to keep you safe.
So imagine this, you're walking down the road,
it's two in the afternoon,
you hear someone walking behind you, completely cool.
But at two in the morning,
you're walking down the road, you hear footsteps,
and your mind goes straight into, "This is dangerous.
"This person might be going to attack me."
If you're lying on the sofa or taking a nap
in the middle of the afternoon
and someone knocks on your door,
you go, "I wonder what that is?"
Two in the morning, your mind goes to, "This is dangerous.
"This is bad news."
And, actually, all your mind is doing
with over-emphasizing the negative is trying to protect you,
trying to keep you safe.
Weirdly enough, we like gossip and sharing negativity
because it's incredibly bonding,
but it's actually not very good for us.
The way you feel about everything
is down to the pictures you make in your head
and the words you say to yourself.
And here's where we often do the negative,
"I know that won't work out.
"I know it's going to fail.
"I'm bound to be late.
"I'm bound to mess that up.
"Everything I touch turns to you know what.
"Money slips through my fingers.
"I can never keep a relationship going.
"Things always go wrong.
"They never work out."
You see how you are overemphasizing the negative?
Because that isn't true.
Things always go wrong?
They never work out?
You can never keep a job?
Every person dumps you?
You always get ghosted?
You need to look at the pictures
you are making and the words you are putting in your head,
and you need to say, "No, actually, they do work out,
"and if they've worked out once, I can make them work out again."
I was working with a client once
who said, "You know, my husband loved me so much
"and then he didn't love me anymore
"and he left me, and he left me a shell.
"I was nothing without him.
"He replaced me.
"He rejected me.
"He found someone younger, better than me,
"and now I'm nothing without him."
And I said, "No, you're overemphasizing the negative.
"Once upon a time, he was madly in love with you.
"And, by the way, everything he loved about you
"is still in you.
"He didn't go, 'Hey, when I pack my bag and leave you,
"'why don't I pack in it everything I liked about you
"'so I don't like it anymore?'
"Remember everything he loved about you,
"look for what's positive.
"He loved you for 12 years.
"Now that relationship has run its course.
"If he hadn't left you, you might have one day left him.
"You got together when you were 17, and now it's just ended.
"But everything he loved about you is still in you,
"and you're going to find an amazing man
"who loves the grown-up you.
"You're going to find someone who's better for you,
"because you overlooked all of his negative qualities
"because you were so into the story.
"'We met at school, we're high school sweethearts.
"'We've got a lovely love story.'
"It wasn't really real.
"You grew apart. But stop over-emphasizing what is negative,
"'He left.' And emphasize what's positive,
"'He loved me for 12 years.
"'He loved me when I was a schoolgirl,
"'and now I'm going to find an amazing man who loves me
"'as a mature, grown-up, smart woman.
"'And my second marriage will last forever,
"'because that was my starter relationship.
"'Like I had a starter home,
"'and now I'm ready for a better one.'"
And so, look at your life right now,
and let's look at how much you overemphasize the negative,
"I know I'll get ghosted.
"I know that won't work out.
"This is too good to be true.
"This is unbelievable.
"I can't believe I got that job, it must've been a fluke.
"I can't believe that person loves me.
"I can't believe this little baby is my baby
"because they're so beautiful."
Why can't you believe it?
Turn around the, "I can't believe,"
to, "I know I'm worth it.
"I do deserve this.
"I'm worthy of love,
"worthy of success.
"I believe I'm worthy of it."
And now, let's look at the "always,"
"It always goes wrong.
"It never, ever works out."
Go back and look at that,
because, I promise you, it's not true.
And if you are prepared to tell yourself a lie,
"It always goes wrong, things never go my way,"
at least tell yourself a better lie,
"It actually always goes right from now on,
"because I have learned to dialogue with my mind,
"to keep that Ferrari, that powerful horse, on track.
"I know what to do."
You see, when you're riding a powerful horse,
what happens is, by using the muscles in your calves
and holding the reins a certain way, you tell that horse what to do,
when to go, when to stop, and your mind is no different.
There are certain triggers that say to your mind,
"This is good, let's go for it."
And the triggers are words like, "I want this,
"I've chosen this.
"I've chosen to feel great about this.
"I have chosen to set myself a goal,
"and to move towards that goal.
"I've chosen to focus on my gifts, my assets.
"I've chosen to only use really positive language,
"you say, 'I want you to expand forwards into achievement.'"
And here's the thing people do,
they try to expand and they contract,
"Hey, I hear you got a promotion at work."
"Yeah, I don't know how I got that.
"I think the person they wanted to have was sick
"or left and it's just a fluke."
"Hey, I hear you got a new boyfriend."
"Yeah, let's see how long that lasts.
"I always get ghosted.
"It's a miracle I even found this person."
"Gosh, you've lost 10 pounds."
You'll go, "Yeah, I know, but I always gain it back again."
You've got to really pull yourself away from that.
When you're expanding and expanding towards success,
you can't contract.
If someone says, "Hey, I hear you got
"the employee of the month,"
don't go, "Yeah, well, the one they would have given it to
"was sick that week."
"Hey, I love your house."
"Oh, it's filthy."
"Hey, I love your voice."
"Oh, I hate my voice, it's so droney."
"You look nice."
"What? Me? In this old thing?"
So you can't expand and contract and expand and contract.
When someone says something nice, I want you to go,
"Thank you so much.
"Thank you; I love my job.
"I love my house.
"I love this shirt.
"Yeah, I love being a parent.
"I love cooking food."
My mom was an amazing cook, and every time I went for dinner,
she'd go, "Well, I forgot the ingredients.
"I couldn't get the right herbs.
"I know this is terrible."
I said, "Mom, why do you keep doing that?
"You're an amazing cook and you cook with love."
"Oh, well, it wasn't... because I left it in the oven too long."
And my mother was always down on herself
and she was down on her accomplishments.
And here's something I want you to understand.
The common denominator for feeling sad
and anxious and depressed is this:
harsh, hurtful, critical words that you say to yourself
on a daily basis will cause depression, sadness,
anxiety, and aloneness.
Remember Hebbs, the neurons that wire together
fire together. Start to be nice to yourself.
Fire better neurons of praise
and noticing what you're good at
and noticing your accomplishments, noticing your gifts,
noticing your skillset.
Keep your mind towards a positive bias and not a negative one.
If you're about to say something negative,
turn your eyes on the positive.
Say, "Thank you, thank you." Don't keep saying, "I'm sorry I'm late,"
change it to, "Thanks for waiting."
"I'm sorry I burnt the food,"
"I'm so glad you're here
"and the company is way more important than the food."
So, remember, that just like the Parkinson's Law
about filling your time, if you have all day to do a task
or three hours, that's how long it will take.
But I want you to fill your mind
with great thoughts, great words, great beliefs.
And you don't need to spend 21 days or 200,
you can spend 21 seconds and change.
You can change a thought.
Remember, here's a rule.
Your thoughts dictate your feelings,
your feelings dictate your actions,
and your actions dictate your events.
Everything begins with how you feel,
and you can change how you feel like that,
by changing your thinking.
Of course, when you keep doing this,
when the neurons are wiring and firing,
if you do something for 21 days, it will stick.
If you drink water first thing for 21 days,
do some crunches as soon as you get out of bed,
eat olives or something
that you wouldn't normally eat once a day,
within 21 days, it will be wired in.
When you're working on your mind,
well, I want you to repeat this, and wire in and fire in
and code in new beliefs, new actions, new thoughts.
Please remember, you can change yourself in seconds.
Change your thinking because that will change your feelings
and that will change your behavior
and that will change your actions.
It all starts with changing how you think.
And, by the way, your thoughts are yours to change.
And, by the way too, it's actually really easy
to change your thoughts when you know how.
I've been teaching people this all my life,
and the results are extraordinary and amazing,
and they can be yours, starting right now.
So if you'd like to learn
how you can actually reprogram your mind for success,
so that you can personally benefit yourself,
or indeed learn how to really help other people to do that,
all you have to do is go ahead and click the link below.