Wow, okay?
All right, which one of us see whatever is on
The man they call the bagger claims three more victims late last night
His secret weapon a trash bag, if you recognize this man
Please call the station or your local police department immediately the chief of police says that this triple homicide
Babe? yeah? That looks a lot like you
That Guy Has a mustache
The only thing left of the scene was the killer's fake mustache
I'm being told that you're now seeing an updated version of the sketch of the killer without his fake mustache
The man is six four in height
Wait how tall are you? like 5'4
I'm sorry
apparently he's 5'4 for I said 6'4 because I didn't think men were 5'4
We have security footage of the killer leaving the scene blasting this song
Oh My God, I hate that song even i know that that's all as well as everyone knows. I hate this song
(Song Plays)
She put this as my ring you put this on you put this oh
Yeah You did put it on my mom my mom put it on I'm being told the coroner has
Officially confirmed that the time of death is 6PM Yesterday evening
Yesterday yesterday, where were we yesterday all [day]. [oh] yeah?
We're at Disneyland, Disneyland
all day, yeah
this happened yesterday in the parking lot of Disneyland. It wasn't a happiest place on Earth for these three victims
Hear me out no no no listen to me wait wait guys guys
We're friends, right?
Okay Just, hear me out
Listen there are seven billion people on this earth right? this can be anyone. It's just a coincidence
Witnesses said his last words were there are [seven] billion people on Earth right this could be anyone
It's just a coincidence, [okay], okay?
Wait, wait wait hear me out, but
Nope, that's all the information we have
Guys guys guys look look it wasn't me
it's cool i didn't hear nothing i didn't see nothing are we good? I swear it wasn't me trying to show me
If you have any information about who this man is you will be awarded three million dollars
Three Million?
Your'e not gonna get nothing because it's not me
[That's a lot of money]
Wrong guy, you guys want three million?
Go look for him. Have taken a little bit of a turn
Why are you walking like that?
IT WASN'T ME THO
GET THE #&#@ BACK NOW
I SWEAR TO GOD IT WASN'T ME
Okay, okay, okay? Okay? I look nothing like that picture
Listen? i'm listening This is what were gonna do, were gonna watch a movie like real friends, ok?
babe put on a movie. I mean not my babe not my babe that's your babe not my babe
Sit down
it's all good. look it's me it's me .Yeah
(Gets hit with a pan and passes out)
People you killed cops are on their way. We've got your gun now
[Who's got the gun now]
Untie me right now!
Huh I wish I could babe
I've got the gun now I've got the gun , babe. You're a killer i can't be with a killer what will my dad think?
Brilliant a lot of money. I mean I did. breaking news the killer has been captured
He was arrested and is currently in custody your families are now safe
I'm being told the suspect is cooperating with the police and answering all of their questions. April Fool
Guys Can You Help Me.
give him this guy's good. Oh
Okay, look at that. Oh, you're gonna listen [wow]
You're sharing your night. Yeah, yeah
You know what I'm a real friend
I'm gonna show you guys what real friends all about. no amount of money will change the way I feel about you guys
Okay, I'm gonna forgive you guys
Bring it bring it in
There is another update they caught the wrong man. The killer is still on the loose
(Screams)
GUYS COME BACK
Our hearts go out the families of these victims who were taken too soon and before their time it is [fairly]
Uncurly he is currently committing another murder
IT WASN'T ME
(Ending Music)