What would you do if the Sun vanished?
After the god Izanagi went to the underworld and failed to get his dead wife back, he had
to wash his face to purify himself of the underworld’s pollution.
The act of washing created more gods, his children.
Izanagi washed his left eye, and from that sprang forth the goddess Amaterasu.
Izanagi washed his right eye, and from that sprang forth the god Tsukuyomi.
Then Izanagi washed his nose, and from that sprang forth the god Susanoo.
These beings were kami, usually translated as gods or spirits.
Like Pocahontas, the ancient Japanese believed that every rock and tree and creature, has
a life, has a spirit, has a name.
These beliefs would later become the Shinto religion.
Izanagi’s 3 children were the most powerful and well-known kami.
He gave each control of a part of the universe.
Amaterasu was the Sun Goddess, who commanded the heavens.
Tsukuyomi was the Moon God, who commanded the night.
Susanoo was the god of the seas, and commanded the...seas.
Amaterasu and Tsukuyomi took to their duties immediately as rulers of the heavens and the
night, but Susanoo ignored his responsibilities.
It’s not clear what their responsibilities were.
Susanoo’s probably involved protecting dolphins from sharks and Japanese commercial fishermen.
Susanoo suffered from prickism.
He couldn’t help but go around being a prick to everyone, that was his reputation.
He ignored his duties.
Instead, he cried and cried about how he wanted to go visit his dead mother, Izanami, in the
underworld.
As the dolphin body count rose, his father got annoyed and pissed-offedly forced him
to leave heaven and go live in the underworld if he liked it so much.
Izanagi then retired to his palace, and retired from Japanese mythology it seems, because
we no longer hear of him.
Before Susanoo left for the underworld, he planned to go to his sister’s place to say
goodbye.
Amaterasu got wind of this.
Normally, saying goodbye to your sister was customary, but Amaterasu knew that Susanoo
was a troublemaker and an ass, an assmaker.
He might even want to take over her domain of heaven.
She tied her hair up out of the way and armed herself.
When Susanoo came by and saw her ready for battle, he got offended.
He claimed he only wanted to say goodbye, not fight.
And to prove it, he challenged her to a contest.
The winner of said contest would be in the right, because that’s how being right works.
Amaterasu agreed, then asked to borrow Susanoo’s sword.
She broke the sword into 3 pieces and washed them, then popped them into her mouth and
chewed.
When she finally spit the pieces out, her solar powers changed them into 3 brand new
female kami.
Not to be outdone, Susanoo asked for her magatama beads.
He washed them, chewed them, then spit out 5 male kami.
Now these myths come from the oldest surviving Japanese texts, the Kojiki and Nihon shoki.
Although they tell many of the same myths, their versions sometimes differ.
The Kojiki says that Amaterasu made 3 females from her ritual.
Females were clearly better than males in this contest, but because the 3 female kami
were made from Susanoo’s sword, Susanoo got the credit for creating them.
Amaterasu admitted defeat and conceded that Susanoo’s intentions were pure, he only
wanted to say goodbye.
In the Nihon shoki, the two agreed beforehand that Susanoo must make male kami from his
ritual.
If he did so, it meant his heart was pure.
Since he did do so, he was vindicated.
In both versions, Susanoo won the contest.
And now we get to see why people thought Susanoo was an assmaker.
Susanoo was the worst kind of winner, the sore kind.
He pranced around heaven reminding people loudly that he won.
He destroyed heavenly rice paddies.
He even went to Amaterasu’s palace, took off his pants, and pooped right there on the
floor.
C’mon dude.
Amaterasu saw his victory tour become more and more troublesome, but she didn’t stop
him.
She made excuses for him because she knew that his heart was pure, he won the contest
after all.
But Susanoo finally did something she couldn’t ignore.
He flayed a heavenly pony and threw it into Amaterasu’s weaving hall, a place where
women weaved.
One of the girls got so shocked that she accidentally hit her private lady parts with her shuttle
and died. That’s right, died.
You didn’t know that could happen did you?
Angry at her brother, Amaterasu went into a cave and locked the rock.
She needed to be alone for a while.
Well, when you’re the Sun Goddess, the smallest things you do have consequences.
Her retreat plunged heaven and earth into darkness.
People panicked.
Men robbed convenience stores, women tore off their tops, it was chaos.
The 8 million heavenly kami got together, stumbled together, next to a river bed beside
the cave.
They had to think of a plan to convince the Sun Goddess to come out.
Today, there’s actually a shrine called Ama no Iwato (天岩戸).
It’s near a cave that’s next to a river.
They say it’s the very same cave that Amaterasu occupied.
After some discussion, the kami convention goers decided on a coming out party.
They made a big mirror.
And then one sexy kami, Ame no Uzume (天宇受売), the kami of being totally gorgeous, she got
all naked and did a vulgar dance, it probably involved a strong pole but I’m not sure.
Either way, we can assume strong poles eventually appeared.
The kami congregation cheered and laughed, making sure they were loud enough for Amaterasu
to hear from inside the cave.
The Sun Goddess did hear.
She thought it was weird that people were laughing and having fun while the universe
was pitch black.
She opened her rock a crack and asked what was going on.
The Kami of the Pole told her there was another kami who was even better than Amaterasu.
The crowd held up the mirror and Amaterasu saw a beautiful kami staring back, a very
familiar one.
Curious, she opened the rock further to get a better look.
At that point, a kami who was hiding on the side pulled Amaterasu out of her cave.
Another one sealed the cave with sacred rope called shimenawa (注連縄), preventing Amaterasu
from going back.
When Amaterasu returned outside, light returned to heaven and earth.
The kami convention goers then turned to Susanoo, the one who started all this with his shenanigans.
Now you could ask why she didn’t just find another cave, and my answer is…
don't be a dick, just listen to the story.
Today you can see shimenawa all over Shinto shrines.
Made from rice straw or hemp, they are used to protect against evil spirits.
And now you know their mythical origin.
The kami crowd punished Susanoo.
He had to provide 1000 tables full of offerings to the gods, like cloth, food, and jewels.
The kami there were the gods, so presumably the offerings were for them.
The crowd shaved his beard, pulled out his nails, and kicked him out of heaven.
In the traditional stories, Susanoo was associated with the land of Izumo.
It was his home.
The conflict between him and Amaterasu might have reflected a real life conflict way back
in the ancient days, when there was not yet a centralized government.
The Yamato, the ancestors of the Japanese Royal Family, may have competed with a rival
state by the name of Izumo.
In the myths, Susanoo finds the legendary sword Kusanagi, which I did a video about,
then surrenders it to Amaterasu, resolving their feud.
This may represent the ancient victory that Yamato had over Izumo.
So in the fight between Amaterasu and Susanoo, Amaterasu eventually came out the winner.
Hey did you guys know I have a store?
Yeah, check it out, and buy an Amaterasu or Susanoo shirt while you’re there.
If the next Japanese myth video isn’t here, then check out this video about the legendary
sword Kusanagi and how Susanoo found it.
So we have a new emperor this week, LordHyorinmaruTheGreat.
Wow, thank you lord, for your support.
And we have a new patron Gaurav Sinha.
Welcome!
Alright you assholes, much love and spread the knowledge!