Hi Tripp, I'm a new listener to the podcast, just ordered Magnetic and working towards
finally putting myself out there in the dating scene with intention to improve my
game. My question involves a recent personal situation that is, I think, pretty unique.
A couple months ago, I ran into a friend of a friend and we seemed to hit it off. She agreed
to a date, we texted a couple times back and forth to schedule it, then I didn't hear from her for a
couple of days. Our mutual friend told me she had unfortunately started seeing someone else before
we first talked. However, they also confirmed that she would have been interested in the date,
had the timing been better. Today, I believe she's single and there's a get together coming
up where we'll likely run into each other again. Assuming she is single, I'm curious how you
would recommend approaching this and if you'd do anything differently, considering what happened
initially. Look forward to hearing what you have to say and to start reading Magnetic. Thanks,
Robert. I'll say this much... I want to give you a different thought here.
Is this someone that you should talk to again in terms of seeing them or going on a date?
Even if she is single, how much do you now respect her for completely ghosting you. You didn't use
the term ghost, but you said it here. You said I didn't hear from her for a couple of days.
You never heard from her again? Looks like your friend was the one who was the
person to reveal the information, which is that she's not
going to be dating you she's dating someone else. Is that someone that you have a level of
respect for? I'm just kind of questioning – I'm challenging you here. I don't know if I would.
Some people might argue like, well it's hard to... an it's an uncomfortable text.
I think that you should be an adult and she didn't act like a mature adult.
She could have easily just said hey, I have to be honest with you, I'm sorry we scheduled something,
but it turns out that someone I've been seeing it's getting more serious. I apologize.
You would have been bummed, but at least you would have dealt with someone who's mature.
Is this someone you should be going for? I don't know. I'm not going to give you the
exact answer here. I think that's for you to figure out. But I want to open your mind to
looking at this from a different perspective. Is this really someone? If you come to the
conclusion, because I still like to give you the advice at times, I like to still give you
the option, if you come to the conclusion and you say yeah, this still is someone or
maybe I'm wrong and she did text you and say that and you just didn't add that here in the
message. Here's what I would do. I wouldn't even bring it up. I wouldn't bring up like,
hey, I never heard from you. Or hey, I heard that you're dating someone.
I would just start this process all over again. Act like it never even happened. She if texted
you and did say something like, I'm seeing someone or whatever, just act like it never even happened
and just ask her out. Now she might say I'm seeing someone or I'm still seeing someone. Then you'll
be like, okay, no worries. But just start the process all over again. When you're seeing her,
talk to her, flirt with her, connect with her, and then don't wait to text her but in person say,
hey you know what, we should grab a drink. Why don't we grab a drink sometime? And she'll tell
you right there. She'll say no, I can't, I'm seeing somebody. Say okay, cool. No worries.
That's it. That'd be my advice, my friend. Yes, still go for it. Yes,
still ask her out if the case is that you feel that way. But if you've had a change of heart
based on what I said here about the respect and maturity thing, then you can be done with it.