If you are suffering from depression or anxiety it can feel like you are all alone
with no one to turn to for help.
Telling someone how you feel can be difficult and scary,
and talking to your parents can be especially hard
if you're worried how they'll react or if they believe what you are saying.
It can be difficult, but telling your parents how you feel is a very important step in recovering from your illness.
Your parents can show you the love and support you need to feel better
and help you get access to professional help, so finding the courage to tell them is always the right thing to do.
Before you start the conversation, try to work out exactly what you will say
and write it down on a piece of paper.
Think of specific examples of times you have felt sad or anxious,
or when your mood has affected your ability to do well in school or with other areas of life.
Having a good idea of what you are going to say will help you stay calm and get your point across
even if you get nervous.
You might be worried your parents will get angry or upset when you tell them about your illness.
You may even imagine the conversation going terrible and ending in an argument.
These predictions and expectations are all part of your illness because depression and
anxiety cause you to see the world in a negative way making you imagine the worst possible situations.
Try not to listen to your worries.
The truth is, your parents care about you and want you to be happy.
When you are ready to speak to your parents, make sure you pick a good time.
You want them to be in the right mood to listen.
If they are stressed out, too tired or sleepy, then wait until tomorrow.
You should get straight to the point and say, “I need to talk to you”
Explain that you have been feeling sad or anxious for a long time
and you are worried that there might be something wrong with you.
Try to give them as much information as possible.
Tell them what you have been feeling, and for how long.
Don’t worry about explaining everything perfectly, or if you can’t find the right words.
Your parents don’t need to understand exactly what you are going through.
They just need to hear and know that you want help.
If you've been having suicidal thoughts or considered ending your life, you need to tell your parents.
If you think your parents won't understand what “depression” or “anxiety” are
then start by explaining that you feel very sad or anxious all the time
and you think it isn’t normal.
To help them understand, you could show them descriptions of your illness from trusted
sources like the APA, NHS or whatever is available for the country you live in.
Try to help them understand that depression and anxiety
are more than just being in a bad mood or feeling down.
They are real illnesses caused by changes in the brain
that you can’t fix simply by “getting over it”.
Once you explain what you are going through, your parents will probably be very concerned
and will want to know what they can do to help.
Explain that just having their support will mean a lot to you, but you would also like
to go to a doctor and get professional help.
Your parents will probably believe what you are telling them and they'll want to help you,
but it’s also possible they'll need some convincing.
They may try to tell you that you shouldn’t be feeling these things.
That you’re just a kid and you should stop over-reacting.
Your reply should be “I KNOW I shouldn’t be feeling like this.
It isn’t normal to be feeling this way all the time.
That’s how I know I need help.”
If they don't believe how you are feeling and see it as normal part of puberty,
try explaining that you feel sad or worried ALL THE TIME.
While your friends and other people your age have ups and downs, you only have downs.
Sometimes, it can take a while for what you are saying to really get through to your parents.
They really care about you but it's easier to think that you're just going through a bad phase
than to admit you need professional help.
Don't be discouraged.
Your feelings are important even if your parents don’t understand them right away.
If starting a conversation is too difficult or if you can’t find the right words to say,
writing a letter, email or message to your parents is a great way to get the conversation started.
If speaking to your parents is difficult, you could try talking to another adult
who could help you.
A school teacher, counselor, religious leader, youth worker or close adult could offer you valuable advice,
put you in touch with a doctor and even speak to your parents for you.
If you are really having trouble you could wait until your next regular doctor's visit
or when you're ill with a cold, and then talk to them about your depression or anxiety
while you are there.
Keep talking to your parents and try getting them to understand what you are experiencing.
Your feelings and well-being are important!
So don’t give up until you make progress.
If you feel afraid or discouraged by what they say, try to focus on how much better
life will be when they finally understand and are able to help you.
Telling your parents about your mental health issues is always scary,
but in the end, it will be worth it.
We've put links to great resources for mental health in the description so please check that out.
We also have professional psychologists answering in the comments,
so please leave a comment if you have any questions at all
or if you have advice for other's who struggle with this issue.
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Thank you for watching! :)