-Hey, guys, I´m here with Blake Shelton,
the one and only. We´re at Nobu.
And Blake, I can´t believe this is true,
but you´ve never tried sushi before.
-I mean, not the raw -- like, the raw stuff, no.
♫♫
Don´t eat this. This is a hot towel.
It´s not a sushi roll.
So you clean your hands with this.
See? -Ah.
-That´s how you clean your hands?
-♫ La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la ♫
-Have you ever had sake before?
This is -- this is delicious.
It´s a wine. It´s a rice wine.
What´s -- are you getting a headache?
-No, I just -- I don´t know what -- rice wine.
-Yeah. Not "race wane." Rice. Rice wine.
-What did you call it? -Rice.
You ever had rice before? Thank you.
Here´s to best friends. Tonight is kind of special.
-Why are you doing this? -´Cause I love you. That´s all.
We´re gonna have fun. This is good. Cheers.
What does it tastes like to you? -Easter egg coloring.
-Easter egg coloring. -Does it to you, too?
-Have you tried the fresh ginger?
It´s pickled ginger.
-I wouldn´t know fresh ginger from old.
-What do you think about this?
-Kind of has the texture of pre-chewed gum.
-Can we get the next course, please?
♫♫
Blake, don´t -- don´t -- -Oh, my God.
-No. Don´t be freaked out.
Look at how colorful, look how beautiful.
Thank you very much.
You should thank them when they --
-Thank you! -Now it´s too late.
-Thank you! -That´s right, Blake.
-Can we get some more rice wine?
-Which one you wanna go with? The tuna or the salmon?
-Does it matter? -Yeah, I think so.
-I don´t know the difference.
That right there it looks like a human tongue.
♫♫
The texture is...
Play-Doh.
But I will say this to you right now...
-Yeah. -...man to man.
-Thank you. -I like that.
I like how that tasted, but --
-There´s one. Count one. That´s one.
-Okay, that´s one.
So what is this? -This is yellowtail.
Try it in the soy sauce and then just take half of it.
This is good.
[ Chuckles ]
-I don´t like that. -Oh, come on.
-I don´t like that.
♫♫
Hey, what could be more disgusting than raw fish?
Whatever this is. No, I don´t want to toast.
-No, I know. I´m sorry.
-Whole thing, huh?
[ Laughter ]
-Can we get some more of that rice wine?
♫♫
But can you at least tell me what this is?
-Honestly, I´m not kidding, I´m just --
-You don´t know, okay.
Just shut up.
-It´s a fish. I can look at it.
-Stop talking. -It´s a little fish head.
You see the -- -Stop talking.
-Little fish head. Do you see it?
-I´m not looking. I don´t want to know
-Look at him. -It´s already in my mouth.
-What´s the name of the new record,
just so I can plug the record quick?
"Free Popcorn Shrimp"? Something like that?
-"Free Popcorn Shrimp." -"Free Popcorn Shrimp."
No, seriously, what´s the name of it?
It´s called, like, "This Bar Ain´t Good Enough"?
-Yes. -♫ This bar ain´t good enough ♫
♫ Bar used to be real tough ♫
-See? -♫ Bar used to be real rough ♫
♫ Now the bar ain´t tough enough ♫
-Hey, can we get some rice wine?
[ Laughter ]
-Hey, man, what´s real?
You seen Jimmy around here, my friend?
About 4-foot-9.
A weird look on his face.
Had a lot of rice wine.
Check this out.
[ Laughter ]
Merry Christmas, bitch.
[ Cheers and applause ]
♫♫
Ready?
Boom! Go for it.
-Oh, my God. It pulled --
No!
-What is this?
-It´s a sea urchin uni shot.
-I´m sorry? -Uni. Sea urchin.
-Sea urchin. -Gonads of the sea urchin.
-Gonads. -Gonads...
-Sea urchin.
-But you -- you said gonads.
Hey, can we get some rice wine?
-What are you gonna do? Are you gonna chew it
or just swallow the whole thing down?
-I´m gonna pretend like this isn´t happening.
[ Laughter ]
-Hey, what´s the name of the new single?
-"Came Here to Forget."
-[ Laughing ] Mission accomplished.
I can´t. I can´t do it. I can´t do it.
[ Audience gasping and cheering ]
-I did it.
Come on. You don´t want to be that guy.
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, my God!
-Ugh! Oh, my gosh. That was delicious.
-How about a high-five? -Thank you so much.
♫♫
All right, Blake, we got the last course for you.
Had all different kinds of sushi.
This last one is gonna blow your mind.
-What?!
-You earned it, buddy.
Big Mac. -Oh, my gosh!
Now we´re talking! -I love you, man.
-Yes! -Two more rice wines.
-I love it! Can we get some more rice win?
-Blake Shelton, everybody. [ Laughs ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
´Cause I do love you. I´m a big fan of yours.
-I love you, too, Jimmy. -Oh, come on.
I didn´t believe that at all.
-You don´t? -What´s my last name?
-It´s..."Fallen."
[ Laughter ]
-Hey, I want to congratulate you.
This morning you were nominated for three CMA Awards.
-Thank you. -Three.
-Thank you. -One, two, three.
That´s big. Entertainer of the year,
male vocalist, and single of the year.
-[ Laughs ] I´m sorry. -What?
-Just, no matter what the moment is, it´s, ♫ Dunnn ♫
-Yeah. [ Music sting plays ]
-That´s great. -You can´t be --
-I wish that was in my house, man, just...
-You´re like, "Honey, I´m gonna watch a movie on Lifetime."
[ Music sting plays ]
Yeah, that´s the way it works.
-Oh, I´m listening to you. I´m sorry. Go ahead.
There´s a lot of distractions here.
-I know. I´m sorry. But I´m very distracted as well.
-Okay. -Actually, I started a --
I have a truck. I bought a truck.
And I started a truck -- -Man, I heard about that.
-Thank you. Yeah, and I´m very excited about it.
-What did you get? -I got a Ford F-150 King Ranch.
-Yes. My wife, Miranda, has that same truck,
and it´s a diesel.
[ Laughter ]
-Men and women can both enjoy the same truck.
-Sure, they can. It´s -- -Yeah, absolutely.
-It´s 2014. Of course they can. -It certainly is.
-It´s cool these days. -It is cool, always.
And I got a truck, and so I wanted a --
I wanted a truck playlist, a good country truck playlist.
And so I asked everyone watching "The Tonight Show"
to send in their favorite songs,
and I added some of my favorite songs.
And you´re actually on my playlist twice --
two of your songs. I´m a big fan.
-Okay, wait a minute, though. -Yeah.
You´re on my truck -- you´re in my truck.
-No, no, no, no. Did the --
-♫ You´re in my truck, you´re in my ♫
-Stop. -Sorry.
[ Laughter ]
-Now, are my songs on your playlist as the ones you added.
Are they on your playlist as the ones
that people advised you to add? Be honest.
-It doesn´t matter, Blake. It doesn´t matter.
-All right, you answered. Go ahead.
-No, I do -- -Let me ask you.
Okay, let -- How´s the truck looking?
-It´s gorgeous. -How long have you had it now?
-It´s blue -- the top is blue and the bottom´s khaki.
It looks like it works at Best Buy.
It has, like, a blue --
like, a blue golf-shirt top and khaki bottoms.
-Have you been using it?
-Oh, yeah, I´m driving all over the place.
I´m just a truck-driving dude.
Look at me. Look at me. Don´t I look like a guy --
-You keeping it clean? Is it looking nice?
-It´s pretty clean, yeah. -That´s wrong.
What are talking about?
Blake, I just had to -- well, it´s a very expensive truck.
-If you´re gonna buy a...
a truck... [ Laughter ]
-It´s a beautiful truck.
-...you gotta get some mud on it.
You gotta have mud on the side. You got to have dents in it,
scratches, guts in the back.
-Really? -Yeah, corn and shovels and...
-Corn and shovels? -Just, you know --
-It sounds like a "Dateline" episode.
Guts? It sounds like Lester Holt to be doing this.
-Just crap, you know? -Really?
-You gotta have -- yes.
-I´ll do it. -Trucks are a tool.
You don´t drive around the city in it.
-No, I know. It´s not a city truck.
It´s a country truck. Put things in the back that --
-Well, where does it live? -In the country.
It´s on, like, a farm out in the country.
-Okay. -It´s in rehab right now.
-Is it? [ Laughs ]
-My truck´s in rehab, yeah. -Cool.
-No, I got -- you can put things in the back.
I got it because -- it´s very important --
it´s pumpkin season coming up,
and I´m gonna want places to put the pumpkins
when you drive -- -Of course.
I don´t know why I didn´t think of that.
It is getting close to pumpkin season,
and gotta go get a load of them.
-That´s -- [ Laughs ]
Hey, guys. I´m here with my pal Blake Shelton.
We´re at Riverdale Stables here in New York.
Now, Blake, the last time you were on the show,
I made you do something you´ve never done before --
try sushi.
-Oh, my God. It pulled --
No!
Can we get some more rice wine?
Yes. I´m still having nightmares about that.
-Well, being the nice guy that I am,
I thought I´d give you a chance for some payback.
Now you´re gonna make me do something
I´ve never done before... -[ Laughs evilly ]
-...milk a cow. -Can´t wait.
I can´t wait for this!
[ Banjo music playing ]
Okay, Jimmy. This is Oreo.
-Okay, cool. -Meet Oreo.
-Hi, Oreo. Did I overdress?
Because I thought...
-You dressed very disrespectful.
You look like Howdy Doody right now.
Do you think this is a game?
You think this is a game? This is serious.
-[ Laughing ] Oh, my gosh.
I just dressed for the part.
And this is, like, what you wear -- overalls.
You should wear something over that.
You know?
-Is your comedy show over yet?
We´re here to milk a cow right now.
-What do I do? What´s the first step?
-Well, first of all, this is Oreo.
You´re about to be touching her in very private area,
which is totally normal if you act normal about it
and don´t dress like Woody from "Toy Story"
when you do it.
♫♫
So now we´re -- whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You -- you don´t just reach out and grab a teat.
You gotta -- this is all about romance and finesse, okay?
So have a connection with Oreo. Have a connection.
-Hi, Oreo.
-So go ahead and milk the teat.
-Just grab it like that?
-No. You don´t grab a girl´s teat like that.
-Like this? -You got to get in there
like this -- a little bit of this.
And you reach up... -Uh-huh.
-...and you come down. You reach up and gently --
-Just don´t do that anymore.
-Okay, don´t stroke it. You´re not stroking it.
-It wasn´t going to. I was going to milk it.
So, okay. -You´re gonna get up there
and you´re gonna gently squeeze and then push down.
It´s more of a squeeze-push than it is a stroke.
-Okay. -No stroking.
♫♫
-Here we go. All right. I´m just gonna get my bowl.
-What are you...
[ Laughter ]
Are you kidding me right now? What are you doing?
Well, of course, of course, Oreo, I know.
It´s insulting. It is insulting.
-This is a delicious and nutritious breakfast.
-What are you doing? -What do I do here?
-Wait a minute. Stop.
The milk is up in here, right? -Okay.
-So you gotta ease... -Squeeze there?
-...push up and then pinch in
and then gently pull down.
-Push up.
-No, no, no, no. With one hand, one hand.
Oh, there you go. -Like there?
-Pretend like you´re --
now you´re getting a little bit there,
and then you´re pushing it down.
Oh, for the love of God.
[ Laughter ]
How much of this do you want?
-Hey. -You see that?
-Hey, you´re getting some.
-We got milk.
Come on. Reach up. -Hey, I did it.
Look, it´s happening.
Yeah! [ Laughs ]
This is fantastic. -How much do you need?
Is that plenty? -That´s enough.
That´s more than enough.
Blake, we did it.
-What do you mean "we" did it?
[ Laughter ]
Okay, Jimmy.
It´s a old farming tradition that you do a shot of
your first milk. Congratulations.
I´m very, very, very proud of you.
This is the first time I´ve ever been happy with you.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
-Here´s to more adventures.
-Yes, sir.
[ Laughter ]
How is it? -It´s warm.
-Is it? -Yep.
-It´s creamy, though, isn´t it? It´s got that nice, creamy...
-[ Coughs ]
♫♫
-Bl-bl-bl-bl-bl! Yoo-hoo!
-Okay, I´m here with my Buddy Blake Shelton,
and I´m about to take him on a tour of my brand-new ride
at Universal Studios -- Race Through New York.
You ready for this? -Yes.
-This is gonna be fun, right?
-I only wanted to perform. -This is gonna be fun.
-I´m only on your show to perform.
-No, you can´t just -- this is just a photo of me.
-Has anyone ever told you that you look like
Potsie from "Happy Days"?
-Not one person.
-You look like a show on CMT around 3:00 in the morning,
like, that you work at a gas station.
-Aha! Lookie there.
There we are, buddy.
-This is my ride.
-Number one, number one on NBC.
-Yep. -Number one.
Put the next season.
[ Audience "Aw!"s ]
Okay.
That´s hilarious. That´s cool.
-I got the hit show, man.
This is a hit show. -They finally got a hit,
so I guess they´re really gonna double down on it.
-"This is Also Us," a whole new set of families.
And so it´s kind of a museum to all the hosts
of "The Tonight Show." There´s Johnny Carson.
-Oh, love Johnny Carson.
-This is Jay Leno here.
-See, this is what I´m talking about.
This is when the show was good right here, man.
You should have watched some of these things.
♫♫
[ Cheers and applause ]
♫♫
This is what you worked three and a half years on?
-A highlight. Remember when I took you to --
-Do you sell the rice wine here?
-No, I don´t sell -- oh, look at this.
We have entertainment.
It´s the Ragtime Gals.
Guys, do you know any Blake Shelton songs?
-No. -No.
-What´s the name of your album?
"Inside Out" or something? "Insecure"?
What is it?
-"If I´m Honest." -"If I´m Honest."
Can you just think of a song -- "If I´m Honest"?
And five, four...
-[ Harmonizing ] ♫ If I´m honest ♫
-That´s not a song.
-Well, that´s not the -- that´s the first line.
The second line is, "I have I have a two-inch penis."
[ Laughs ]
♫♫
-You´ve accomplished something.
This building does remind me of 30 Rock,
which is an office building.
-Yeah. -That´s so exciting. Wow.
-So far, are you having a good time?
-No. This is like being in a shopping mall.
Nothing´s for sale.
You just walk around and look in windows.
And you can´t buy anything.
-We haven´t done the ride yet, though.
-And here, this is the best part.
Clearly, they wouldn´t give you a real ride,
so we´re gonna go sit in and look at a movie screen
with 3-D glasses on.
So people stand in line and they watch your show?
That´s actually brilliant.
-I feel like you´re getting angry.
-No, I´m just fascinated.
[ Laughter ]
-What´s fascinating? -How you ever became famous.
[ Laughter ]
You got to feel bad when you walk through,
you know, this whole theme park, Universal here,
and you see real roller coasters
and real Ferris wheels and things like that.
-Ferris wheel? -And they gave you a screen
that we´re gonna go in here and look at.
[ NBC chimes play ]
-♫ NBC ♫ Here we go.
-Now, that was cool. Was that your idea?
-No. -That´s actually
the best part about this so far. -Hey, hey, hey, hey.
-The doors just opened. -I´ll make it better for you.
[ Music thumping in background ]
Smithworks Vodka. -Oh, look at that.
-Cheers, buddy. -Anything at this point.
-Put the 3-D glasses on. -The glasses on.
-Yeah, put them on. Look at this.
-Aaah!
-Whoa! [ Laughs ]
-Wow!
[ Indistinct music playing ]
-Thank you. -Okay, I got to admit
this is pretty cool.
I admit it.
-[ Laughs ]
-Oh, [bleep]
[ Indistinct talking and music ]
[ Laughter ]
-I almost need a barf bag after that.
-[ Laughing ] You do?
-That was like a for-real roller coaster
I mean, that felt like a for-real roller coaster.
-Dude, you´re sweating, you´re sweating.
-Whoo!
-[ Laughing ] Thank you for doing this.
I know you don´t like roller coasters.
-You put me on a freaking roller coaster!
♫♫
-How about some merch? You want some merch?
-Ye-Yeah.
-You got a backpack for when you go to school.
You ever go to school? Home school.
You got real tattoos.
Is that...
chicken wire and goldfish?
-Were you -- -That´s my favorite snack.
-Have you ever been outside of the city?
Did you just call that chicken wire?
-Chicken wire and goldfish, like the snacks?
Cheddar snacks. I love those things.
I would get a tattoo of the two, except I think ahead.
Your Spanx that you wear underneath your pajamas
at nighttime.
You know what happens.
Another panda doll.
-Love that panda. That´s good.
-Hey, man, look at this. We both work for NBC.
-Those are gonna be so popular.
-This is us. Get it?
We did it. -All right, buddy, so...
-I´ll see it tonight. -Okay.
-I´ll see you tonight, buddy.
[ Cheers and applause ]
♫♫