- Hey, I'm Kate and today I'm going to be trying
modeling as a way to feel
sexier.
Oh my god, I'm so nervous.
Really?
(laughs loudly)
One thing I've learned (giggles)
is to never feel too good.
I'm into it!
I've done a video before about having an eating disorder.
Normally at this time I would binge,
it's not just about a dress not fitting.
I'm exposed.
(air whooshing)
Lately I've been having to spend a lot more time
in the house this time also coincides with the time of year
where brands are really promoting beach body nonsense.
Mixed messages of even friends posting about
gaining weight in this time at home
can be really triggering for anyone who has an
eating disorder or a history of eating disorders.
I noticed that a lot of old eating disorder habits
were coming back.
So I was scrolling through Instagram and
I saw this really cool photographer
and I thought that I don't know,
modeling might be a cool way to I don't know
like get my body back a little bit.
Naturally I'll post one of these pictures
and someone will be like
"oh my god I didn't know, I was in love with you
this whole time"
and I'll be like "too little too late."
(giggles)
- So during the pandemic, I've definitely noticed
that there has been a lot of fat phobia
and body shaming happening.
I've been doing these at-home sessions
with people all over the world.
Really connecting to the idea of being able to
see their body in a positive way.
(upbeat music)
- Hi Kate
- Hi Lydia, how are you?
- I'm good, how are you? It looks like you have a lot
of fun stuff happening in your closet.
- I still get a little nervous with what I wear
I have a lot of like rules in my head
of like what I'm not supposed to wear
- Yeah, I mean the whole idea of the sessions
too is I think it's really fun to kind of play
with color and print and just push yourself
out of your comfort zone.
I love the off the shoulder, yeah
- And then it has like little ties
- Ooh love that.
- Right?
I have these skirts that I really like.
- Ooh I think that with the printed top
- Really?
- [Lydia] Yeah, mix it! I really like
print mixing, I think that would be super cute.
- I'm into it! I've never been bold enough to mix
patterns.
- Really, oh my god.
- I also really like this, it's like really plain
but I always was like scared to wear white, so
I'm wearing white a whole lot more now
I am also, just so you can see,
hopefully I don't fall, physically wearing these shorts
- Oh those are cute
- Let me stand up,
okay hope I don't fall (Lydia laughing)
Oh for Christ's sake, there we go.
So I have these shorts too which I don't
really love the way my legs look in them
So I feel like that would be a little
- I love that with the, the white tank top
In terms of like, hair and make up, like
how do you normally like wear your hair?
- Lately I've been wearing it pretty curly
- [Lydia] Oh yeah I love
the curly hair, I think especially
with like the off the shoulder, like having
your hair down
- And what about make-up? What do you think of for make-up?
- I feel like you could do like with the first outfit
like something with a red lip could make
that outfit just pop out even more.
- [Lydia] And then maybe the second outfit,
that's black and white
Maybe just kind of really experiment and
- I have some blue eyeliner that I've been looking to try
- Yeah, let's do that.
- Ooh, I'm excited
- [Kate] Time to put make up on.
Starting out, I was a little worried,
I would've never worn that outfit,
but once I was in it, I was feeling really good
That's not the worst
- Oh my god, it looks so cute.
I love this outfit on you.
(upbeat music)
- [Kate] I have like polka dots
- [Lydia] Ooh wait, that's cute.
- Step into frame, that's perfect.
And I know you were talking about
like you could sit up on the counter,
so like maybe let's try that.
- [Kate] I like the way like my hair looked on my shoulders,
which I was super into and like I was just
really into my shoulders (laughs)
throughout the whole thing, quite honestly.
- Awesome, eyes to me a little bit.
- [Kate] And then once we sort of got the ball rolling
I really trusted Lydia, so I was like you just tell me
what to do.
- Oh yeah, perfect. Oh I love that.
- [Kate] And so like getting the positive feedback
too being like "these are great" or whatever
was making me feel a lot better.
- Yeah, that's nice
(upbeat music)
- I like the hair whip.
- Well that was really fun. Hey I felt like playful sexy
which is what I was going for.
- I'm excited, I think they came out great.
- Okay so I'm going to get changed.
- [Kate] I think I warmed up a lot for the
second look in the second location.
I like my legs. I've lately just been picking them apart.
- Play with your legs a little bit
- [Lydia] so like if you cross them, and
kind of just create some like shape
- [Kate] Really hating every bit of cellulite
you could see so, the second outfit was much more
revealing in that way.
- [Lydia] Great, you look like really strong.
- [Kate] Ooh. And so I tend to feel more comfortable
hiding them and hiding my upper arms like
in between my shoulder and elbow, but
I like my shoulder, but not the in between
So the second outfit was much more revealing in that way.
I'm just like (laughs)
- If it feels a little weird, it probably means it's
gonna look a little cool.
Oh my god you look, can't even, there's no words.
Honestly, again, you killed it,
these are so good. - Yay!
- I think these are amazing, I can't wait to go though them
and then they're exactly what we were thinking that
we'd wanted to do. I hope you love them
- I'm so excited to see them.
I felt really, really good. Taking the pictures
and really excited and like the poses and what not
it's about 60:40 excited and
nervous to
see the actual pictures.
(upbeat music)
The prints are here, I haven't looked at them
I was very excited and now I'm very nervous
I have this sneaky feeling that this is gonna
ruin my day somehow, so let's
jump in.
(funky pop music)
(chimes)
- [Kate] Ooh!
Shoot!
Hold on.
I like this one.
I'm trying to find something I hate about it
and I don't (laughs)
(funky pop music)
(chimes) Second pic!
I don't hate it, I'm used to being "oh my god I look
like that" to yeah, no that's what I look like,
that's a nice picture.
I think it gives the impression
That I'm just really relaxed, calm, and happy
and that's none of the above (laughs)
(energetic music)
(chimes) (funky pop music)
- [Kate] Shut up, I love this one.
What?
That's the one, oh I love this one.
(chimes)
- [Kate] And I like that one too!
(funky pop music)
- Well this is a delight (laughs)
I thought that maybe everyone was gonna see
how I sometimes see myself and they did
but it was a good, I feel like it's the good side.
I'm so happy I did this, man I wanted to bail.
With an eating disorder and body dysmorphia,
there were times when I would feel really, really good
and then be in a picture too and then see the pictures
and say some of the meanest things to myself.
So this is a pretty cool experience, to take the pictures
and not be like "oh no, that's what I look like"
and to be more "ah, that's what I look like, yeah, not
not too bad"
(smooth pop music)