(ominous music)
- Hey guys, So I've been gone for a while.
Not to brag or anything,
but I've been dealing with some anxiety.
Totally fine, it's fine. It's been a lot of fun.
Don't worry though, I did talk to my doctor
and he told me to stop.
So, I feel a lot better now.
But anyway, I've noticed that every time I go a few weeks
without making a video, I always forget how.
What do I talk about? Is this where I sit?
What do I do to make a joke?
And I figured, since I'm feeling kind of rusty,
what better way to get back into the swing of things than
by watching some training videos?
- All right.
- I feel like at one point or another,
almost all of us have fallen down a YouTube rabbit hole
of weird VHS training videos
that teach us how to do jobs we don't have.
Once you watch one, it's hard to stop.
They just keep getting recommended
and you end up learning some really valuable skills,
like how to cook fried chicken, how to send an email,
how to shoplift.
- [Narrator 1] If merchandise is available
and no one is around, steal it.
Steal several items at a time.
Steal as many as 40 items at one time from one store.
- This old country buffet video that came in my recommended
is like an instant classic for me
just because of how visibly uncomfortable this guy is.
I'm almost a little bit worried he's being held hostage.
- [Narrator 2] You might ask something like this.
- Is it still hot out there? - [Narrator 2] Or this.
- Did you catch the game last night?
- [Narrator 2] Or this?
- Have you tried the lasagna? That's my favorite.
- Is it still hot out there?
It was hot last time I went outside, three years ago.
- It's my favorite.
- One thing that's great about this video too
is that it was uploaded by that guy.
He's the one who put this on YouTube.
And now that it's been getting a lot of views
and comments recently, he was really excited to talk about
some of the misconceptions people might've had.
For one, he wanted to make it clear
that the entire video was scripted.
And no, he doesn't actually like lasagna.
How could that even be?
He seems so confident. - It's my favorite.
- [Narrator 2] Let's take a closer look at greeting guests.
Every conversation you hold with guests should begin
something like this.
- Good evening - [Narrator 2] Or--
- Hi. How are you?
- Oh, so greet customers by greeting them. All Right.
- [Narrator 2] Children often play a big part in deciding
which restaurant their parents visit.
We want them to feel welcome and special here too.
- One of the comments on here is,
"What restaurants do you want to go to kids?
"The one with the sweaty man who makes us feel special."
- [Narrator 2] So start conversations with children
by saying something like this.
- What grade are you in at school?
- [Narrator 2] Or this.
- Have you decided what dessert you're going to have?
- [Narrator 2] Or this?
- Do you like hot fudge sundaes?
- [Narrator 2] Or this? - Do you have any homework?
- [Narrator 2] or this?
- Could you help me break outta here?
- [Narrator 2] At other buffet-style restaurants,
guests often feel they're on their own.
Once they've paid for the meal,
no one pays much attention to them.
- Ugh I know, I hate to be left alone to eat
after I ordered my food.
I'm not sure how to look up from my plate
to notice a very sweaty man staring at me.
- All right.
- This next one is specifically for Nintendo employees
who are handling returns from customers.
And this one has a little bit of a different tone.
I like this a lot.
- [Narrator 3] Some people will go to great lengths
to return an abused
or an out of warranty piece of merchandise.
What are you supposed to do?
Tell them what you really think?
Of course you can't do that.
- That's such a great line. What are you going to do?
Tell him what you really think, which is to fuck off
and you don't get paid enough for this shit?
You can't say that. You'll get in trouble.
We know that's what you want to say,
but for the sake of your own job security,
let's try to go with something else.
- If you take a look at it,
I don't know what's the matter with it.
It was working and now it's not working.
So I'd appreciate if you, you know, take a look at it.
I'd like to get an exchange for it if I could.
- An exchange change? - Yes sir.
- Excuse me, Mr. Cashier,
I got to return my brand new PlayStation Five
that I just bought here and exchange it for a different one
'cause none of the games are working
and the controller's not working either.
Okay.
But this is an Xbox 360
and you're asking for a PlayStation five.
Oh. well that's okay.
And you said the controller's not working.
Yeah, but it's probably just the batteries.
Do you have your receipt?
No, I accidentally burned it
when I was trying to light a candle.
But I do have my credit card
that you can put the money back on.
Your money back. Is this a return or an exchange?
Yes.
So from there I stumbled upon
this hour long Mercedes car sale tutorial.
I learned a lot of valuable things
and also I accidentally bought a Mercedes.
Wait until my wife sees me roll up in that thing.
- Let me ask you a couple of questions if I may.
- Sure. - Now, what are you?
- Now one of the fun things I've heard a lot of people did
in the eighties was cocaine.
And I can't tell if this guy is on cocaine,
but his eyes definitely are.
- I want a nice car.
- Then of course, there's this extremely bizarre
Chuck E Cheese character training video.
In honor of their current bankruptcy.
I think it's for the best we go ahead
and check this one out.
- [Narrator 4] He must be full of energy
and always having fun himself.
A clean well-maintained appearance
is essential to Chuck E Cheese's image.
- That's why our mascot's are rat.
'Cause when you think of cleanliness, you think of rats.
- [Narrator 4] Be sure to brush the fur every day.
It is very important that Chuck E
has a well-groomed appearance.
- Yeah, it's a good point.
Otherwise people might think he's something gross.
Like a rat.
- [Narrator 4] One of Chuck E's major roles comes during
the birthday party. The parade of cakes.
Since this part is so important,
you might want to do a rehearsal on the floor
before the store opens to get your bearings
with the costume.
- Oh God, as creepy as this normal dance is,
I think it's somehow even creepier when there's no kids
in the room and it looks like they're just chasing him
around with a cake.
- [Narrator 4] Be sure to practice with the birthday tape
to make sure that you get the precise timing down. Alright.
Remember, if you're ever in trouble, use the timeout signal
and determine whether or not you will be able to make it
to the regular exit door. - Okay, hold on.
I feel like they kind of brushed over that a little bit,
but that sounds ominous. What do they mean in trouble?
Is it like if you're ever going to pass out.
Remember guys, this costume hot as balls.
So if you feel like you're going to faint,
throw up one of these and get the hell out of it.
Whatever you do, do not faint in front of the kids. Alright.
They're going to think Chuck E died
and then they're never going to want to come back.
So if you have to collapse to the ground,
do that shit outside.
- You can't let the child with the costume carry itself.
You must put your heart and soul into it.
Right? - Right.
Here's a little piece of trivia I kind of knew,
but not the last part.
So in July 2012, the longstanding rat mascot was rebranded,
changing to a slimmer rockstar mouse
who plays electric guitar.
Voice actor, Dunkin Brannan,
who for 19 years had characterized Chuck E cheese
as a wise-cracking rat from New Jersey,
was replaced with Jarrett Reddick, the front man
and guitarist for the pop punk band Bowling for Soup.
♪ 1985♪
- I wondered what those guys were up to now.
He's a cartoon mouse.
♪ Where a kid can be a kid♪
- Well, I don't know about you guys,
but I've worked up quite the hankering for some pizza.
And because I don't trust Chuck E cheese,
let's head over to The Hut
and learn how to make one ourselves.
- Okay Julie, are you all ready to learn how to make a pizza
the right way?
- Making a great, yes I'm ready.
- I like how a lot of these videos
aren't just instructional.
They're also basically advertisements for the company that,
in this case, you're already working for.
They always slip in lines about how like,
high quality the food is.
And then one of the employees is like,
"Yeah, it's so good.
"I'm so proud to be working for such a great company."
- And our customers wouldn't get the best possible product.
- Which they deserve every time they visit Pizza Hut.
- All right. Relax Julie.
- On our Pizzas, we use two layers of cheese.
The bottom cheese-- - And the top cheese. Right.
- Right.
- And the cheese on top of the pizza. Right?
'Cause That's what makes it a pizza.
Okay. Can you stop?
- The server will do the rest.
- No, the customer will do the rest
when they bite into my delicious pizza.
Delicious pan pizza and delicious thin and crispy pizza.
What more could a customer want?
- Personal pan pizza. - What?
- What? There's more pizza?
Oh, I was so happy a second ago.
- Just remember to follow the instructions exactly
and you'll be just fine.
And so will the pizza's right?
- Right. - Oh my God.
- Hey, I'm not just making pizza. I'm making it great.
- You know, I can already tell this girl is all talk.
She seems confident now,
but the moment things get hard in like a week,
she's walking out of there.
Yeah, I've seen my fair share of Julies before.
They always crack.
When it comes to food training videos though,
It's Wendy's that takes the cake.
If for nothing else, just for sheer quantity.
They've got songs about hot drinks.
They've got songs about cold drinks,
which is basically just saying,
put ice in the cup and then fill it up with the drink.
But sure, listen to the song if you need to.
And they also have this one called grill skills,
which is certifiably insane. You'll see why.
Starts off with the founder of Wendy's, Dave Thomas,
who just woke up from a very long nap
to tell us about hamburgers.
- My goal has been to serve
the best hamburger in the business.
At Wendy's Old fashioned hamburger.
So I started with a freshest beef I could find.
100% pure beef. - human beef.
- And we padded it into squares
so the hamburger hangs over the side of the bun.
- You know, when I worked at Wendy's,
they told me that the patties are square
because they never cut corners.
But here Dave is saying that it's just 'cause he likes
that they hang over the bun. So, which is it?
Seems like a bit of revisionist history if you ask me.
Also, sometimes we did cut corners.
So it's a lie.
- It also makes the Patty larger.
So they'll hang over the edge of the bun
and people will like that. - Yes, they will. Dave.
Okay. It seems pretty normal so far.
So I'll skip ahead a bit.
- Why don't you have a look at the tape first
and I'll check back with you in a few minutes.
- All right.
(TV buzzes)
(continuous beeping)
(sci-fi sound effects)
- Oh great.
(coughs) What the--
- Yeah. I remember my first day too.
(sci-fi sound effects)
(retro music)
♪ Now working the grill Bill it ain't so tough♪
♪ But first of all you got to check your stuff♪
♪ Like a grill that's set at 2-5-0♪
♪ With the meat and cheese that's ready to go♪
♪ A towel to keep your station looking cool♪
♪ But most of all, you got to have your tools♪
- Yeah. So it's kind of the best thing in the entire world.
♪ When the meat's red juices no longer rise♪
♪ You can serve that patty and you won a prize♪
- Got to hand it to the prop department here.
They really nailed it.
They got the smoking TV that looks like a microwave.
You got the comically large medal to put on his neck.
Pretty good job.
♪ The reason you press you press you gotta think♪
♪ When the meat hits the grill it starts to shrink♪
♪ We start to shrink♪
♪ When we hit that grill you know we will♪
- Okay.
Forgot about the part halfway through
where the patties come to life.
And it turns out they've been beautiful women
this whole time.
♪ When we hit that grill you know we will♪
- You can serve that patty,
It'll win a-- - Prize.
- It takes just about four minutes to--
- Cook
- But just to make sure you can take a--
- Look.
- Use your tool to double check,
- It should be great and moist to be correct.
- Aw, they're falling in love.
Well, that's the end of the song. At least. Unless--
♪ A customer orders a single with cheese♪
- Oh, there's more. Okay.
♪ Drain then serve on a bun just so♪
♪ Don't touch it with your fingers that's a big no no♪
- Okay. But then something horrifying happens.
The talking patties come back and one of them says this.
♪ I'm stage five and I'm still alive♪
- All the patties are alive. That's horrible.
So the goal then is that we cook the meat long enough
to murder them. And every time I cook one,
I'm going to imagine a plump lipped lady being burned
to death at the hands of my spatula.
Can I be the cashier instead
♪ Mr. Bill♪ - Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill,
Bill, the tape is over. Do you have any questions?
- No, I think I've got it all.
- You don't have any questions
'cause you just got sucked into a VCR
where some guy rapped at you about beef.
No, I think I got it.
Huh. Usually people have a lot of questions
(upbeat music)
Aww. They're falling in love.
Well, now that Billy knows the burger rap,
looks like he can cook patties to his heart's content.
Just one of those classic stories with a happy ending.
And most importantly, there are no more songs
(upbeat music)
Oh no. ♪ When you orders to fill♪
♪ Come to the one with the grill skills♪
- This one's not quite as much of a bop as that other song,
but it does end with a pretty killer sax solo.
(upbeat music)
- You're listening to Wendy's Music International.
That was of course "Grill Skill" by The Crew.
Up next, It's The Crew with "Grill Skill".
They make it seem so fun to work at Wendy's.
I get to sing cool songs and wear a visor.
But when I worked at Wendy's, I worked the same shift,
5:00 PM to close, four days a week, every week for months.
One day, I noticed my paycheck was less than usual,
which doesn't make sense 'cause like I said,
I worked the same schedule every week.
Why would this one be less?
So I talked to the manager about it
and she tried to tell me that I called in sick on a day
I remember working specifically because it was on a Sunday.
And I remember the football game
that I stopped watching to go to work.
And now she's going to tell me that I don't get paid
for my 10 hours of work. So I was pretty upset,
but she was upset that I brought this up
within an earshot of a customer.
So she took me to the back and yelled at me and then I quit.
So we didn't get any cool songs. I'm curious though,
for all you guys who've worked jobs like these in the past,
have you ever actually seen a training video like this at
your work? I feel like I've seen dozens of these on YouTube.
It's kind of a trope in some movies,
but every job I've ever worked at,
I've never had like a VHS training video when I started.
if anything, I probably should have made
my own training video for Wendy's management
to teach them how to properly pay their employees
and stop calling me Andrew because that's not my name.
Sorry. I just get so worked up even thinking about it.
Let's cut to an ad read. I got to go cool down.
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Not Andrew. Okay. That's not my name.
And also it won't take you anywhere.
(sighs) All right. I feel a lot better now.
Thanks for letting me get all that off my chest.
Well, if you're sticking around
'cause you expected me to say something else,
you're going to be disappointed. The video's over.
So you can keep watching if you'd like,
but I'm not really going to say anything.
I mean, I am saying something it's just not very interesting
or important, but you're free to stick around
if that's what you want to do.
I don't mind.
All right, I'm starting to mind.
Can you get out of here. - All right.